Some of you reading this might still be bleary eyed from just watching and/or reading the very public and not so secret “secret” everyone and their dog has been raving about. Well snap out of it. Because you aren’t going to find any of that sugar coated, power of attraction and intention, you control the universe shit here. Yeah I said it, its crap. Shake it off. I am what some might call, a realist. Doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in karma or a higher power, but I do think we control our own destiny. People who work hard for what they want in life are at least minutely successful, and lazy sobs who sit around and wait for things to fall on their lap sometimes get lucky. Life is 100 percent what you make it and nothing more. If you haven’t yet read or watched the so called “secret” don’t bother, because I am going to give you an overview of what you (didn’t) missed, and have created a more realistic and much more effective approach to getting what you want out of life.

What the secret basically tries to convince you of is that if you think of something long and hard enough, you will eventually “attract” more of whatever it is you desire. And it goes on to explain on the flip side, that if you focus on what you dislike you will in turn, attract more of what it is you don’t want, because that is what the universe THINKS you wish to have. Through images of “wavelengths” being sent out to the universe from individuals mind and repetitive examples and concepts they explain this theory in GREAT detail. One of these examples is of a young boy who spends literally every waking moment of his little life wishing for a bicycle. He becomes so obsessed that he starts to act as though this bike already exists to him in real life. It goes on to show how his mighty power of attraction eventually gets some random old guy (most likely is poor grandfather) to show up at his doorstep with the bike. It’s too bad they forgot to mention that the spoiled little brat most likely asked for the bike after the temper tantrum he threw when he realized that wishing it into existence wasn’t going to work out like he planned.

In my opinion, they are half right. I do think that if you focus on something, more of the same will follow, but it is only because you NOTICE it above all else. If you choose to notice the bills coming to your mail box everyday, getting something other then a bill is going to have much less of an impact, and quickly slips into your subconscious. (Partially because it’s only just a flyer you are going to recycle within seconds anyways.) Its works just the same with how we react to people complaining compared to how we react to compliments and encouragement. At times it can seem like people bicker more often about things then they do anything else, but once again it’s merely because that is what we CHOOSE to notice. Unkind words and harsh unappreciative attitudes from strangers and acquaintances alike are far more noticeable to us, then kind and complimentary remarks, actually because they happen LESS frequently, making them having more of an impact when they do occur. Subconsciously though, it is the benevolent attitude that uplifts our minds and spirits. Our body language, expression, and attitude completely changes, which in the end creates our OWN “power of attraction”; which is where the term “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” comes from. (Some may argue that these were originally the words of Jesus Christ, either way it is still a valid expression.)

I have created a small list of what I THINK makes a person successful. You can disagree with it if you like, but you exist somewhere else and this is my blog.

Confidence – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. Even if you don’t know what you are doing it is proven that if you at least pretend to have faith in yourself the rest of the world will follow. This approach is probably how 80% of your bosses managed to weasel their way through their very own path of self righteousness to where they are today.

Goals – If you don’t have even a tiny idea of what you want, chances are you aren’t going to get it. Bill Gates wanted to make a lot of money, but millions of dollars didn’t appear out of thin air, grab the bag of stale cheetos from his hand, slap him in the face and say wake up asshole you’re rich. He had to actually WORK to get what he wanted. But he certainly didn’t do all by his lonesome, which brings me to my next point.

Support – You can’t do anything alone. No matter how independent and driven you are, you still need to have someone there on the sideline cheering you on. Parents fit pretty well into this role. I don’t know if you already know this or not, but when you are born they are actually required to sign a contract stating they will support you no matter what. So just rub that in their faces the next time you decide to fill your entire back with an intricate tattoo with a meaning only you know, dye your hair pink and hitchhike across Canada, you are listed as a beneficiary and they are in fact your benefactor. Because you control your own destiny, but need some help along the way they will agree because they want you to succeed. (HA. YEAH RIGHT.) J

Talent – getting what you want out of life does depend a tiny bit on what you have to offer. This can be acquired with a little bit of determination and persistence to a certain degree, but it is just as important to make your decisions wisely. If you want to be a rock star but you can’t carry a tune or read music you might want to reconsider, or at least take some lessons.

Ambition/Motivation – Everyone knows people won’t do something unless they actually WANT to. (Well not unless it involves a large sum of money, but then the direction of the motivation is just rerouted, not gone completely.) Surround yourself with things that inspire you in some way. Art, images of places you want to go/places you have been, poems, music, your ideals (ok..these are things that inspire me…but you get the idea.) , you will be surprised at the ideas you can develop from your influences, and the different directions that they can take.

Failures – No one would get where they are today without a few set backs along the way. Failures are often our most valuable learning experiences. Because we often expect success and an easy breezy way of life, it is the setbacks that catch our attention and make us change our ways (hopefully for the better, if not follow the classic trial and error method until success prevails).

My writing is getting kind of stingy and rough...well it sort of started out that way....... and this is just a tiny snippet of my way of thinking. Ok Mom I know you are saying “practice what you preach young lady” and maybe something along the lines of “THAT’S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL ALONG” and I do follow these general ideas to a certain extent, I just haven’t found my direction yet. As unresponsive and pessimistic as I may seem, I still have a tiny spark of faith left. I hope everyone else does to. Oh and on a side note, don’t be brainwashed by the un secret secret. If you must, let it inspire you. But don’t leave your destiny up to the universe. No matter how hard you may try broadcasting tiny signals of your wishes to the universe genie, they won’t be granted. Only you are responsible for your own destiny.