SCHOOL 1977 vs. SCHOOL 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock-down, the RCMP are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra provincial funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Bill breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State pschycologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1977 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes on to College.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Canadian Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against provincial school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Canada Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - Canadian Firearms Center and the RCMP are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. CSIS investigates parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of intensive therapy.

- content compliments of anonymous sender


Watch out all you environmentally friendly vehicledrivers. The proposed “green license plates” to appear on your energy efficient methods of transportation by Spring 2008 may provide you with more grief (and humiliation) than good. The green plates which promise benefits such as free parking and use of carpool lanes may not have the same affect when you cross the US Border. As it was release previously in the media about a month ago (Ok so I am a little behind the times) the United States Government has proposed a little “green scheme” of its own. But it is no means an environmental pat on the back for the average granola cruncher, but rather a way for U.S. Residents to single out their convicted sex offenders.

What an incredible idea. The easiest color on the eye, globally known to signify “GO” plastered on the vehicle of your friendly neighbourhood pedophile. The color of nature, symbolizing growth, harmony and freshness. The color known to have incredible healing power, often used in hospitals and waiting rooms formally know as “green rooms” because of its ability to put people at ease.

I can just see the reaction now. “Awww, look honey, a pedophile.” I mean common. If you really wanted to get someone’s attention for something of this nature, wouldn’t you want to use, oh I don’t know…RED??? Don’t you want to say something like “STOP I AM A SEX OFFENDER DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200?” Wouldn’t you prefer to catch someone’s attention and “Alert” them, rather then everyone just sort of passively noticing and all of a sudden feeling strangely overcome with relaxation and serenity? I think this is kind of an oxymoron in a sense.

Not to mention the fact that now Canada will be forced to rethink their actually fairly good idea of encouraging people to go green.

I have an idea. Make the sex offenders just paint their entire cars pink. And write “sex offender” across the hood. That should do it, and won’t cause any confusion. Or better yet, just make them take the bus where they will be surrounded with a bunch of little children as they no longer wish to risk driving altogether. Less people on the road, and more cases of offences by sexual predators.

(please notice the minor hint of sarcasm, as I risk being seriously misunderstood if last statement was thought to be of true intention.)