I don't like shopping.

I bet some of you are in disagreement, so let me explain.

I like forced social interaction.

I enjoy walking around looking at shiny objects and being asked by the sales clerk if i need help. Yeah I need help, but not the kind you can give me, but thanks for asking, your forced interaction with me as a customer is enough.

I like to buy ideas.

I have no money, but I appreacite being able to accumulate material objects if they are on sale. If I do buy something its likely because I am buying an idea that I will later want to replicate (and end up never doing so.) I am very craft oriented and see a project in most things. Micheals is a death trap for me, I have a time limit set most of the time before I enter.

I can't stand large masses of people who are easily distracted.

Going into Costco is my own personal hell. The only time I enter such a facility is when I have a list. Who goes to costco to browse? It's a place of wholesale, so im suggesting you do not impulse buy anything unless you want three or more of them.

I am easily overwhelmed.

For most shopping is a relaxing way to spend the afternoon. For me, its a challenge. I often have to hold onto other people to walk and look at something at the same time. My multitasking abilities dissapear and I am swallowed in a sea of people and slowly become blind and deaf. Forms of communication become obsolete and I am left to die a slow painful retail death. (ok so its not that bad, but how else can i explain it? you're not in my head.)

I never get what I came for.

I go in to find a pair of pants and I come out with fake flowers and a dress. I get home and still have no pants. What part of that is a good time?

I am easily affected by my environment.

Going into superstore is intoxicating and sobering at the same time. I get a yellow infused migraine after 0.5 seconds. Flowers and Chocolates and fluffy shit line the aisle. I am suddenly overwhelmed with a product placement induced need for companionship and chocolate.

All that aside, i really need this ring. Totally out of context but thats how i roll.


Anonymous said...

I love this! It is you! 100%

Anonymous said...

Thanks Anonymous whoever you are!