Am I that old?

So I turned 23 on the 15th of this month. I don't feel 23, but I am constantly reminded by the amount of babies and marriages practically flooding my friends list these days. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful babies and weddings, but are we all really at that point in our lives? One part of me fears I will never get to that stage in my life, but another is grateful that I have my entire life ahead of me to experience it. I guess my plan to adopt kind of helps me out in that i don't actually need a husband to start my own family. But I am FAR from ready to even think about adopting, financially and emotionally. But I have my little chi lulu and a pending "big brothers big sisters" application to help fill the void. :) I am much happier these days though. I couldn't tell you exactly why, only that I am finding myself appreciating the little things and taking time out for myself, and not letting anything hold me back from doing what I want to do. Like going to SEATTLE!!

My mom and I took a trip down to Seattle in celebration of my birthday. It was originally planned that my best friend would be joining me for a week, but she hurt herself pretty badly and couldn't make it out. Rather than wallow in my own self pity (don't get me wrong, I was upset but mostly for her having to experience pain) I decided to do most of the things we had planned anyways.

Seattle was a blast. We made every moment count, although a lot of the action happened right at the Canadian/American border. We witnessed some rather disrespectful and impatient behavior by those with Washington state plates. There is something at the border called the "nexus lane" for special people who don't have to wait and can bypass the lineups. God knows how you get into that elite group. But some people abuse the system. Like the group of girls who "pretended" they had no idea they were in this EXTREMELY well marked lane until OOPS they were at the gates. I guess because they were cute someone let them in line, but one other vehicle was not so fortunate. The massive truck behind him who obviously knows that NEXUS means no waiting, was so frustrated at the couple trying to merge into the regular lane that he drove up on the curb and the lawn to get past!!!! We were lucky that the car of girls made it through because we definitely got to hear some interesting stories as they tried to talk to each other over their music. Ladies, we now all know what bra sizes you are, what you think of each others boobs and who would give anything for a boob job. Quite entertaining, thank you.

We stayed at a pretty swanky hotel just outside of Seattle and definitely got a good deal compared to what we would have payed for something in the downtown core. We were also fortunate enough to utilize the free shuttle service it offered.


Something we learnt very quickly, but unfortunately a bit to late, was that no one in Seattle really knows where they are going, and all of the people you come in contact with in the service industry DO NOT speak English. So a good idea would be to NOT ask for directions, or really any questions for that matter. Although some of the people we did ask questions to were so cute when they answered yes to a non yes or no question. It really was surprising though to experience such a huge language barrier just crossing the border. Do all the white people think they are to high and mighty to have a respectable position as a bus driver or guest service agent? The streets definitely have something to be desired, and often reek of urine. The city of Victoria would be in uproar and riots would break out constantly if we ever let our city get to that state. But it all builds character, I mean its not called "Sin City" for no reason.

Also to the fellow in the convenience store across the street from our hotel, just because we are from Canada doesn't mean we are stupid. We know how to count change so save yourself the trouble and refrain from attempting to short change us ever again. Even if it is only 6 cents.

When times were rough (like getting lost for 12 blocks on skid row in the pouring rain...literally..) and moments of "I'm not doing this anymore" arose (like when a very sketchy person whose sex still remains in question was following me) my mom was there to pull me through (as was the glass of stoli I insisted was non alcoholic that I managed to chug down in about 10 seconds flat.)

We went to the Experience Music Project and let me tell you "experience" is an understatement. We sang in a vocal booth who converted our voices to a very sultry males voice simultaneously (boy was that weird/cool). We also created our very own rock band with the original title of Lisabelle and...mum. Lisabelle being the lead singer and mum being the amazing drummer to back me up. It is kind of one of those you had to be there moments but it was AWESOME.

With my amazing itinerary and travel planning skills we also managed to squeeze in the space needle, downtown shopping, an underground tour, and some more shopping at the mall across from our hotel. I couldn't have spent my birthday with a better person or had a better time. THANKS MOM!!! Here are some more pictures from our trip compliments a la mum of the underground tour (seriously, right under the sidewalks you can hear people walking overhead.), of the best cupcakes we have ever had (accompanied by the cutest girl who has no idea where BC or Canada is), a cute park in the middle of downtown, and myself at the space needle.


Oh say can you......see?

A couple of weeks ago, my mother and her good friend dragged me to the Memorial Center (stadium in Victoria) straight after finishing a graveyard shift (for which I had been awake 20 hours) to audition for the chance to sing the national anthems at the Salmon Kings Hockey games. Unaware of the giant mass of dog hair all over my fleece vest, I stumbled into give it a go. I didn't practice much on the way down, partially because I didn't even realize I was about to audition until 10 minutes prior, but mostly because I know the national anthems like the back of my hand.....right?

After hearing my moms friend Yvette's renditions, which were amazing it was my turn. "It's almost over" Forcing a smile as I approached the judges table completely disheveled and glossy eyed. After a quick introduction (aka nervous giggling at jokes I didn't really understand) I began to sing, only to....stop..... a few words later. I drew a blank.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Lisa the human jukebox whose memory bank is forever doomed to be uselessly filled with song lyrics, FORGOT THE WORDS TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!!! I mean even though it was the American Anthem, it was still just as humiliating. I must say, those judges have no idea what they had just witnessed. The first time not only in my somewhat non existent singing career, but in my ENTIRE LIFE I had ever forgotten the lyrics to anything. The girl who remembers every word of the swiffer sweeper commercial from like 1995, and baby got back by sir mix alot, couldn't come up with a line from a song she'd supposedly been singing her whole life. oh my word.

Not only did I forget the next line, but I waited a good solid 20 seconds to come up with "...what is the next line???" I mean, WHO ASKS THE JUDGES WHAT THE NEXT LINE IS TO THE SONG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING? To make matters even worse, I don't think they had really been listening, because after an extremely awkward silence, she replied with the wrong lyrics. I was so thrown off. My "almost over" moment had turned into more of a never ending century.

I did my best to finish it off and PEACED OUT. Lol. Needless to say, I'm certain I won't be getting a call back any time soon, but hey at least I did it, or I wouldn't have this to write about right? And I mean it is one for the books, maybe even the Guinness Book of World Records, because this is definitely worthy.

Answer

Since no one bothered to even attempt to answer my oh so clever question in the previous post, i'll just give you what you want without working for it. Because utimately, that's how life should be right?

So here it is, on a silver platter and everything.

Answer: Ask one robot what the other would say if it was asked which door was safe. Then go through the other door.

Don't even try to tell me this doesn't work, or come up with some clever suggestion like "why doesn't he just go back to where he came from originally?" Because I have overanalyzed this little puzzle to the maximum and believe you me, I have RULED OUT every other possibility. THIS DOES WORK. Do not second guess me.

THE DOUBLE JEOPARDY DOORS

You are trapped in a room with two doors. One leads to certain death and the other leads to freedom. You don't know which is which.

There are two robots guarding the doors. They will let you choose one door but upon doing so you must go through it.

You can, however, ask one robot one question. The problem is one robot always tells the truth ,the other always lies and you don't know which is which.

What is the question you ask?

uhoh

i think someone lougied in my tim hortons coffee.....

thats basically all i have to say about that. i think ill go throw up now

Goodbye Andy

So I have become rather fond of this particular spot in Victoria to take pictures. It's just a regular old shabby parking lot, but with a twist. There is the most incredible graffiti and artwork on the walls on the surrounding buildings it takes my breath away.

The other day I decided to go take some more pictures in the morning as the sun would not be as sharp, and to my suprise my beloved Andy Warhol painting had been tagged over. Now I understand this doesn't break any "tagging" rules, but my heart still breaks a little. What exsists in its place is by no means subordinate, but I will miss my old friend.
So in tribute to him, and whoever his inspiring artist may be, here are my best pictures of this incredible icon.

SCHOOL 1977 vs. SCHOOL 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock-down, the RCMP are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra provincial funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Bill breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State pschycologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1977 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes on to College.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Canadian Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against provincial school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Canada Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - Canadian Firearms Center and the RCMP are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. CSIS investigates parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of intensive therapy.

- content compliments of anonymous sender

DRIVERS BEWARE!

Watch out all you environmentally friendly vehicledrivers. The proposed “green license plates” to appear on your energy efficient methods of transportation by Spring 2008 may provide you with more grief (and humiliation) than good. The green plates which promise benefits such as free parking and use of carpool lanes may not have the same affect when you cross the US Border. As it was release previously in the media about a month ago (Ok so I am a little behind the times) the United States Government has proposed a little “green scheme” of its own. But it is no means an environmental pat on the back for the average granola cruncher, but rather a way for U.S. Residents to single out their convicted sex offenders.


What an incredible idea. The easiest color on the eye, globally known to signify “GO” plastered on the vehicle of your friendly neighbourhood pedophile. The color of nature, symbolizing growth, harmony and freshness. The color known to have incredible healing power, often used in hospitals and waiting rooms formally know as “green rooms” because of its ability to put people at ease.

I can just see the reaction now. “Awww, look honey, a pedophile.” I mean common. If you really wanted to get someone’s attention for something of this nature, wouldn’t you want to use, oh I don’t know…RED??? Don’t you want to say something like “STOP I AM A SEX OFFENDER DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200?” Wouldn’t you prefer to catch someone’s attention and “Alert” them, rather then everyone just sort of passively noticing and all of a sudden feeling strangely overcome with relaxation and serenity? I think this is kind of an oxymoron in a sense.

Not to mention the fact that now Canada will be forced to rethink their actually fairly good idea of encouraging people to go green.


I have an idea. Make the sex offenders just paint their entire cars pink. And write “sex offender” across the hood. That should do it, and won’t cause any confusion. Or better yet, just make them take the bus where they will be surrounded with a bunch of little children as they no longer wish to risk driving altogether. Less people on the road, and more cases of offences by sexual predators.


(please notice the minor hint of sarcasm, as I risk being seriously misunderstood if last statement was thought to be of true intention.)

Lulu - New addition to the family!

So some of you may already know, but since i am madly in love i am going to announce yet again. I am the proud new mom of a 1.5 year old chihuahua named Lulu. She weighs 6 lbs and is full grown. It was absolutely love at first sight! I got her from the pound in Nanaimo (she was taken there along with her brother), and she is definately quite the little princess. She is still a little aprehensive of men and takes quite a while to warm up to them. (We are still working on having her and steve in the same room without her running away.) But she is definatley mommys little girl because her tail is going a million miles an hour every time she sees me. She doesn't miss a single opportunity to sit on my lap! Our biggest concern when bringing her home was how Penny would react. Penny's ability to get along with her was definatley the deciding factor if she was going to be a permanent member of our family. And it is a success!! Penny has hardly barked at all since Lulu arrived and is extremely gentle and calm when in her presence. For those of you who have encountered Penny, you would know that this is definatley not normal behavior for her at all. Lulu is house trained and the vet claims her to be a very healthy young lady! Only downside is she is in heat at the moment, so is quite moody at times. We are excited to see what kind of dog she will be once she is through this phase.

I am hoping that once she is better habituated at home and used to meeting new people I will be able to take her to work for company on the graveyard shift!! If you are ever in the area please stop by and say hello to Lulu!!



For more picture of Lulu please visit:

Lulu -> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=47101&l=c3d93&id=729915124

Or sign up for facebook and add me to see more favorite photos!

Random Acts of Lunatic-ness Pt. II

Dear mindless, bored, over observant lunatic

If I am going 40 kms/hr and that is the posted speed limit, do not motion for me to “slow down” with your hands and shake your head as I pass. I kind of like going the speed limit, (I mean if that is ok with you of course.) I think I am entitled to go the suggested speed if I so desire after a 9 hour graveyard shift at an addiction recovery center. You’re lucky I am not cruzin out of there as fast as I can, so you are welcome for that. Just because my car can go from 0 - 60 in one millisecond (ok maybe I am exaggerating) it doesn’t mean I need to use it, I only do so when in the appropriate situation. See “Long Weekend Lunatics” for clarification on when this type of driving is acceptable.

Just wanted to say thank you for doing such a fabulous job of controlling ALL the traffic that drives down your DEAD END road at 9 in the morning. I can imagine the chaoticness and excessive amount of cars passing your street containing a virtually endless forest, a farm, three houses, and a treatment center. Your efforts do not go unnoticed. (But they are however, completely disregarded.) Oh and by the way, your house is right next to a stop sign, we are virtually stopped when you tell us to slow down, are you confused? Keep up the good work.

Dear dangerous, disrespectful, uncaring, under observant lunatic

Thanks for driving 80 kms/hr around a corner in your AMAZING monster truck IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I apologize because it seems as though I forgot to read the part of the road rules that states you don’t HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Its no problem at all that you drove me off the road, I had to learn the lesson somehow right? I mean, they are just yellow lines on a road right? No point in staying on your side for the sake of saving half a millisecond of time and someone’s life. I mean if absolutely necessary you could always just drive right over the top of the oncoming traffic and come out unscathed, no biggie. Thanks for giving me a new appreciation for my own life as it FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES this morning.

Dear universe,

I GET IT! I have to be more aware of my surroundings. Thanks for the MULTIPLE reminders. I notice, I see it, so you can stop with the signs now. Turn everyone back into normal drivers, point WELL taken.

Random Acts of Lunatic-ness

Letter to a Long Weekend Lunatic #1

Dear lunatic trying to play games me with on my drive HOME from Coombs, nice try.

If you are going 70 kms/hr on a 100 km/hr highway someone is going to pass you. You don’t need to take it personally and try to teach them a lesson or piss them off by passing them and slamming your breaks on and once again maintain a speed of 70 kms. They don’t appreciate having to pass you going 120 only to have you pass them ONCE AGAIN at speed of 140. That is not safe. You didn’t teach me anything except for the fact you are a complete idiot. Why can’t you just let me drive in peace. Don’t cry to much that I smoked you out at every intersection we were stopped at, its not your fault you don’t know how to drive….actually, yes it is. If you ever do that to me again I will throw eggs at your shiny gutless SUV. You will be sorry.

Love Lisa


Letter to a Long Weekend Lunatic #2

If you are getting to that age where Alzheimer’s may be a problem, please refrain from driving. It is not only embarrassing and dangerous for you, but also frustrating and time consuming for the rest of us when you try to fuel your Hyundai accent up with marked fuel 6 times in a row on the opposite side of the pump as we have to keep getting out of our cars to rip the nozzle out of your hands and re-explain to you what you just did 2 seconds before. If you get back in your car and sit there a few minutes and try again, it doesn’t make a difference. It only pisses us off more.

P.S. I don’t know if you remember, but you drove off without getting any gas at all and you left your gas tank and cap open. Have a fabulous day. I sort of hope you didn’t run out of gas because I can see that imposing a whole new challenge.

Take care, Lisa


Letter to multiple Long Weekend Lunatics

Why didn’t you tell me one is not supposed to signal on long weekends? I drove around all day in Qulaicum/Parksville and Coombs and not a single person signalled while turning or changing lanes. The only person who DID signal didn’t end up turning at all, and I in turn I ended up cutting them off. After honking at me and fingering me profusely he finally turned his blinker off a good 7 kms later. Nice one buddy. I think next time a friendly reminder would suffice that signals are not required on long weekends, because a girl can get confused with all the changes.

Sincerely, Lisa


Letter to the person missing 8 loafs of bread

You left your bread of random brands and assortments scattered throughout the malahat drive. They might still be there if the birds didn’t get them all.

Yours truley, Lisa

The Zen of Sarcasm

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

- compliments of miss Alisa

Breathe Tattoo

So I got my tattoo done at Tattoo Zoo in Victoria over 3 weeks ago and it is now finally healed. It was done by the artist Gerry and he does amazing work. Check out his website to see pics from his portfolio.

http://www.gerrykramer.com/ - personal portofilo

http://www.tattoozoo.net/ - shop information

The shop was very tidy and I was pleased with the atmosphere. I showed Gerry the templates I had drawn out for my idea but mentioned they weren't quite exactly what I was looking for. He said he had an idea and drew up EXACTLY what I was trying to create in about 30 seconds. Definatley put any of my artistic abilities to shame. After showing me the example he asked if I wanted to get it done right then and there. (And here I thought I was just going to do research.) I decided to take the chance and agreed to get my first tattoo GASP!

I was so nervous, but I think that helped in the end. After we got started Gerry told me he didn't mention the pain factor before we got started because he knew the wrist was a sensitive area and didn't want to scare me off, but suprisingly it didn't hurt me at all. (probably the adrenaline kicking in but I wasn't complaining.)

After a quick 20 minutes we were already finished. And here is the final result




I would definatley reccomend Gerry and his shop to anyone looking to get a tattoo. After looking around Victoria pricing things out, it did end up being on the pricer side of the scale, but well worth it. This is my first tattooand it was a really good experience. Hope you all like it.

Public UriNATION pt. II - Wishfun thinking...or not thinking at all?

So I was reading the Times Colonist this a.m. 0330 to be exact, and there on the front page in all its glory is the graciously appointed article “Victoria goes for pop-up potties”. My dyslexia kicked in at first glance and thought it read “Victoria goes pop-up for potties.” But to be completely honest, I truly believe this to be a far more appropriate title.
I have previously expressed my….concern… for such an object to be permanently installed in our downtown core, but let me kindly re-address this issue.
A quick overview, courtesy of the Victoria Times Colonist. Please, sue me now for copyright since your writing skills are so immaculate I couldn’t have come up with a better way to describe it myself.
“Pop up urinals will soon be a permanent feature in Downtown Victoria (yippee.) The sleek European-built cylinders that rise hydraulically from the sidewalk at night but are lowered during the day will be in place by early next year, Victoria council decided yesterday.
In the meantime two portable loos that were part of a pilot project to reduce public urinating will be available. (urinal tipping anyone?) The project was deemed a success - the Bastion Square portable averaged 112 litres of urine in a weekend that might otherwise have ended up on the street (who conducts urine counts, gross. How’d you do that anyways, with a bucket in hand? I wonder if they took into account how much urine ended up on the OUTSIDE of the urinals.)
The city sees the pop-ups as a way to give back-alley urinations an option other than the wall of a business. (Does it really??, you might want to clarify your definition of “the city”.)
Because the vast majority of the culprits are men between the ages of 20 and 30 who don’t like to stray far off their path, the pop-ups provide only urinals. (First of all, I am appalled. So you are going to start discriminating now? Are women just more patient then men and able to wait for a washroom before they go tinkle? Just because we are decent and well trained enough to think twice before pissing on the street means we should be punished? And what difference does it make what age the men who are stinking up the streets are anyways. Does it differentiate in volume?)
But providing an alternative for renegade urinators who were smelling up the City of Gardens (you mean fertilizing of course) isn’t cheap. The two permanent urinals will cost more than 300,000 and run, so the city will try to recoup some of that money from bar owners. (But don’t let that little statistic fool you for a second, because taxpayers will be dishing out the brunt of the cost straight outta their pockets, including another “$202,000 to improve and supervise the Centennial Square washrooms because they’re the ones liquoring everyone up” ….What that doesn’t make sense. The taxpayers are the ones liquoring everyone up? I guess I did mention earlier that the Times colonist has immaculate writing abilities.)
Liam Lux, the general manager of Lucky Bar has suggested stricter enforcement in the downtown core (yeah I’ll second that notion. Oh wait I already suggested that over a month ago.) Lux also suggest changing bylaws to allow bars an hour to get patrons out after last call at 2 am rather than the half hour currently allowed. That extra half hour would mean patrons aren‘t being hurried out the door, and could be encouraged to use the facilities. (So do you really think people are going to sober up in an hour and say to themselves “wow, I should really be a responsible adult and go urinate in the bathroom before I decided to get in my car and drive home.” Yeah, I think not. If grown adults cannot rationalize that they are to drunk to drive, then I am pretty sure they are not fit to decide to use the washroom before departing either.) (I also don’t ever remember being rushed out the door after the 2am last call either, I have plenty of time to try to rid my body of impurities before I am asked to leave the premises.)”
Ok, so by now you can probably tell what parts I decided to add into this article. (for clarification purposes and to cover my ass, I have clearly situated all of these comments safely in between brackets.) Now I just have a couple of missed points to add.
First of all, these urinals are only designed to come out at night. You would think after spending over half a million dollars to design these sleek state of the art spacecrafts that shoot up out of the ground, that they would be available to the public around the clock. I see far more use for them during the day for tourists and locals alike who don’t want to spend their hard earned dollars in some over priced Victorian coffee shop just to be able to use their “facilities”.
From the pictures I have seen, they definitely appear to be form over function. Of course they have to look pretty to attract their male users in the wee hours of the morning. (of course, no pun intended. I am not the humours type.)
These formally known “Uri-Lifts” are also completely open backed. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new age of indecent exposure. Just a quick warning that if you happen to visit Bastion Square between the hours of 12am-4am you are going to see a lot of exposed packages.
All in all, I believe these creations to be a complete joke. But I will admit they will provide some entertainment at the very least. I mean what is cooler then a trendy pop up urinal ready to rise upon my command?
On that note, once again just a friendly reminder that these TWO beautifully appointed peeing capsules are costing us over half a million dollars.
Time and money definitely well spent FOR SURE.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

public uriNATION

NOTE: Title of this post to be read public uriNATION as my formatting makes the titles all CAPS it takes away from my tremendously witty sense of humour and I must keep that intact at all times. Thank you.

As I was walking downtown with my mom a while back, checking out the heart of Victoria and Chinatown we came across this....eccentric...apartment building. It was so interesting I had to take a picture. At first I thought it was rather comical the sign reading "Please stop peeing here people live here." But then I later realized such a note was rather ironic, and I believe the irony is what makes this image so beautiful. People merely trying to protect what is rightfully theirs with another form of not as smelly vandalization, graffitti. Is writing on the wall of your home with permanent marker really the solution to this situation? To be honest, if I were to ever see this wall while intoxicated, which most of my friends would vouch for rarely ever happens these days, I would most definatley see this message not as a warning, but as an outrageously vibrant neon green light for public urination. And if I was as intoxicated as most of these people are who are even considering peeing on another humans not-so-welcome mat I probably wouldn't even be able to read the message, let alone see it in the first place.

It Is unfourtunate that Victoria has taken the Sex Appeal approach with their new tourism recruiting ad campagin of advertising the city of Victoria as "the perfect orgasm." (this is totally another story we will have to address some other time.) Maybe if we advertised things like this ideal apartment location (not to mention whos rental suites are upwards of 700/ month) along with the amount of people we have living on the street in any given summer it would open doors to a whole new realm of tourism. aka, the forigners have vanished. I admit that the city of Victoria has become intolerably out of hand (although you would never be able to guess with the beautifully kept hanging flower baskets), I believe there are more practical ways of solving problems like human excretion in unappropriate places as in this particular example, on the door step of someones no longer humble abode. The City of Victoria HAS purposed earlier in the year a solution to public urination, consisting of space age porta-potties popping up from the ground in the middle of Centennial Square. Do we really want to spend thousands and thousands of tax payers dollars on such a total waste of time? Am I the only person who forsees the total demise of such an invention? Silver metal tubes arising from the ground to inebriated human beings is just something else to vandalize, and in this case. to piss on, not in. But maybe since they have taken our bowling alley away, it will be something for us to enjoy. I can't wait for my night out of "raise the mysterious tubular time machine."

I think a far more practical and appropriate solution is to of course not only raise the amount of police people in the downtown core, which is something most Victorian's would tell you is a long drawn out debate, but also to rid Victoria of useless COPS who rather then doing their job of enforcing the law, spend their time harassing and abusing the homeless, handing out warnings to innocent people with their fog lamps on, or pulling over 16 year old boys without a license just to tell them how they used to "smoke blunts and drink at their age". No wonder our city smells like piss.

Just remember next time you are walking downtown and you smell a rather irritating odour, think twice when the "gardner" tending to the flowers tells you its just "potent soil". You could very well be stumbling across something of a more........human nature.

Intermittent Life Update

So a lot has happened (yeah i know everyone ALWAYS uses that as an excuse for not writing) but seriously though, it has. Not that it has caused me to have a lack of time to do important things like write on my almost now non exsistance space in the gargantuan blogosphere, my mind has just been focusing on other parts of my life and when it comes time to write about my expereinces i am kind of run dry. But in a good way. Here is a quick review of where I am at these days.

I have moved back in with my parents, but I know this time around it is different. After living in Victoria for a year and paying over 500 dollars a month in rent and bills, coming home was a blessing. Who would have known that a fridge can be stocked all month long, not just proceeding the bi-weekly pay cheque.

I have a new job and no longer have to drive over an hour to get to work every day of the week, which is also a major bonus. What is even better, is my position is in the field I have been wanting to enter for a while. I am support staff at the addictions recovery center here and is a mere 8 minute drive to work. It pays really well and I work 4 shifts @ 9 hours each a week which leaves me to have 3 days off but still get full time hours. The only downside to all of this is that I work the graveyard shift (23:45-08:45). I have started to adjust and am starting to learn I can still function rather well (apart from my motor skills) with hardly any sleep. This lack of sleep is also another big factor as to why I hadn't written in so long. I sound kind of lame when I try to talk after I have been up for 27 some odd hours.

I just bought a new laptop and bike. They are both gorgeous and work well which is always a bonus. hahahaha. function over form but its nice if they are cute to right?



Laptop ---> Customized Dell Inspirion 6400 pretty much maxed out at all the newest technology , I don't wanna sound like a total nerd and get into all the specs, but its pretty damn swanky. Some of my friends who are die hard mac fans will probably try to ban me from their life which is fine, but understand I saved myself over two thousand dollars (of money which i do not have to begin with) and if i were to pick up a mac for the same price that I payed for such a high performance laptop, I would get the Fisher Price version aka the MacBook. So, not worth it.






Bike ---> 2007 GT Agressor. Have only ridden it a bit so far, but its a smooooooooth ride. And it is also you guessed it. Pretty damn swanky.

POSTSECRET


Dedicated to the cause

So the other day, as advertised on facebook, was don't pump gas day. Recently I had been cutting back on driving alone and opted to take the city bus virtually everywhere I went. But earlier this month I have moved back up island into my parents house in Shawnigan Lake. I figured that taking public transportation just wasn't doing the trick so I had to take my dedication to saving the planet to a whole new level. (oh who am i kidding, this whole thing is about saving me money, ill be the first to admit im a little selfish but for the record i am an extremely avid recycler.)

Now we all know that I am definately into in standing up for what you believe in, so I was insistant to not fill up my car with fuel on this day. I made a last minute decision to drive to Victoria to run some errands and pick up my pops on the way home from work....when the gas light came on. Well somewhere in the whole facebook community they failed to mention that if you do in fact still need to DRIVE, to think about fueling up in advance. I ignorantly disregarded the litle orange warning glaring at me from the dashboard and contiuned on up the malahat ( a mountain pass i must venture through in order to get home.) I managed to make it to the top of the mountain and the beautiful summit lookout when......cough cough cough..lisa runs out of gas. What was I to do? there was NO WAY IN HELL you would catch me getting gas today! But, problem solved. I got my mom to go to the gas station to fill up a jerry can of gas and bring it to me. HA! I didn't touch a single drop. Now hows that for beating the system.

I'd just like to say how proud and not embarassed I am to run out of gas on this particular day. Don't pump gas day in the world of Lisa Marie Nixon was a complete success. Thank you to all those involved to help me get home safe and sound. ( I managed to get a free dinner out of it to! maybe I should run out of gas more often.)

AMAAAAZING ANAGRAMS

brilliance.

STONE AGE becomes STAGE ONE

ELECTION RESULTS becomes LIES! LET'S RECOUNT!

AUSTRALIA becomes A TRIAL USA

MCDONALDS RESTAURANTS becomes UNCLE SAM'S STANDARD ROT

SEVEN-ELEVEN INCORPORATED becomes OPEN IT AND NEVER EVER CLOSE

THE ROADRUNNER AND WILE E. COYOTE becomes TRY A CARTOON DUEL WHERE NONE DIE

THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA becomes I SPOT ONE GIANT FLAW HERE

GASTROENTEROLOGIST becomes I LET GO TORRENTS O GAS

THE THREE STOOGES LARRY, CURLY, AND MOE becomes ACTORS? LORD, THEY'RE AN UGLY THREESOME!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE becomes I'M A JERK, BUT LISTEN

WASHINGTON becomes HOGS WANT IN

and last but not least....

TRUTH IS becomes IT HURTS

enjoy!

brought to you by the lovely people at the bathroom readers institute.

the epic quiz i.e. i have been to busy to write anything worthwhile and meaningful so this is what you get post

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7AM
2. Diamonds or pearls? pearls. unless they are uncompromised non blood diamonds. then i might reconsider.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? In the Land of Women. Kinda crappy, but filmed in Victoria
4. What is your favorite TV show? I don't watch TV unless I am reminded. But if id have to choose it would be The hills followed by the news. Although the news has been significantly boring lately, but I guess that is a good thing?
5. What did you have for breakfast ? carrots and raisin bran. No, not at the same time.
6. What is your middle name? Marie
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Thai or Greek
8. What foods do you dislike? EGGS.
9. Favorite Chips? Poker chips.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Heated question. but if we are going minute by minute, then I'd have to say Modest Mouse - We were dead before the ship even sank
11. What kind of car do you drive? 97 Dodge Neon R/T
12. What is your favorite sandwich? rosemary ham with Dijon mustard and banana peppers
13. What characteristic do you despise? in myself = lack of self confidence, in others = liars
14. What are your favorite clothes? pink headscarf that is definitely on its last life. (it counts as clothing. i make the rules)
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Somalia. Because if I could travel there, it would mean that their civil war was no longer.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything that fits and is on sale. I don't have a consistent brand except for shoes. that would have to be DC shoes.
17. Where would you like to retire?on my own personal yacht.
18. Favorite time of day? when im not tired
19. Where were you born? Nelson, BC
20. What is your favorite sport to watch? Soccer
21. Who is your hero in life? to many to mention
22. Apples or Oranges? apples
23. Pepsi or Coke? pepsi not because of the taste because the two are far to similar, but as a company pepsi cuz it has less lawsuits.
24. Beavers or Ducks? they both scare me.
25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? i tend to enjoy mid afternoon but as I am working graveyards I better start becoming more of a night owl.
26. Pedicure or manicure? pedicure
27. Any exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Got a new job at an addictions recovery center as support staff.
28. What did you want to be when you were little? are you ready for this? an Anaesthesiologist not a word of a lie. remember, lieing is one of the character traits i despise?
29. What is your best childhood memory? skipping. which also includes many of my worst.
30. Piercing? 8 all together
31. If there was one thing that you could change right now what would it be? my confidence in myself and i would also make myself into a genious.
32. Your biggest regret right now? not keeping in touch with people
33. Favorite restaurant? you know what is funny..i cant even remember the name of it. oh west arm grill. either that or anywhere that serves my dads bbq cooking. oh wait thats only at my house.
34. Favorite flower? orchids and lillies
35. Favorite ice cream? chocolate cerry garcia or cotton candy
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? a & w
37. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Alisa Luksic. one of my heros included in my previously mentioned heros list.
38. What was the last movie that you rented? People rent movies? why?
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? M.A.C.
40. Bedtime? when my dog is ready to go to bed.
41. Last person you went to dinner with? All my favorite IMAX people.
42. What are you listening to right now? hum of my computer..its putting me to sleep.
43. Favorite colour? pink
How many tattoos do you have? but I have two ideas for ones I want.
45. Chicken or egg? chicken cuz I like chicken and hate eggs.
46. left or right? writing: right. hockey: left
47. Obama or Hillary? what the hell?
8. Front or rear-wheel drive? front
49. Muscle or brains? brains
50. Blonde or brunette? brunette
51. Bottle or draught? bottle
52. Domestic or imported? domestic
53. Salad: before or after? before
52. apéro or digestif? umm what?
53. Mansbridge or Robertson? am i supposed to know these answers...
54. Anderson Cooper or Larry King? im getting tired of this.
55. belt or suspenders? suspenders are HOOOOOOOT.
56. XBox or Playstation? whatever one of those ones has the karaoke game. that is the shit.
57. Books or movies? they both have a special place in my heart.
58. neat or on the rocks? neat? if this is a drinking question i hope i answered it right to sound cool.
59. sandals or sneakers? flip flops
60. nature or nurture? nurture
61. matte or glossy? glossy.
62. standard or automatic? standard.
63. regular or hi-test? im guna choose hi-test cuz it sounds extreme?
64. backroad or highway? roads that say "honk to warn oncoming traffic" and "road narrows, yield to oncoming traffic"
.65. fast or slow? over the speed limit enough to be fast, but slow enough to be a waste of time to a cop.
66. mer ou montagne? my stomach hurts.
67. Paris or London? both are full of people i dont think id get a long with.
68. fountain or ballpoint? keyboard
69. MacLaren or Williams? blank answer.
70. arugula or pesto? pesto
71. thin or thick crust? thiiiick
72. aisle or window? window so I can look busy and engaged if I am seated next to someone awkward. Ususally thats not a problem cuz there is hardly ever anyone more awkward then me.
73. fame or fortune? fame leading to fortune. fortune leading to fame usually implies it was not earned.
74. pocket aces or suited connectors? eyes slowing drooping....
75. fight or flight? flight
76. beginning or end? if you mean regarding this quiz definatley the beginning. I hope this is over soon.
77. beer or wine? neither
8. live or memorex? Live.
79. One inanimate thing you'd rescue from your burning residence - computer
80. One thing you'd refuse to sell, no matter what the price - my brother...well how much you asking? j/k
81. One thing you wish you'd never had - this cough, car troubles and extra weight on my body
82. One thing you've always wanted - less fat on my body
83. A fiver on the floor in front of the counter: pocket or tip jar? tip jar if its my tip jar. oh wait, instead why don't i just give it to the last customer that visited my counter instead? to some ungrateful bastard who in the end will not be its rightful owner after all? hmm...nono..that never happened to me did it.... add that to the list of things i wish i had never DONE.
84. Name one thing you could do for someone without regard to cost or consequence -Bring back a loved one.
85. If you could start all over right now, would you? if by that you mean this survey? thats a definate HELL NO.

WHEELS KEEP ON TURNIN

So I know It's been a decade since i wrote last...ok maybe just shy of a month, but im sure to you it feels like FOREVER. right? ok just pretend. But seriously though I have been so busy. I have one full time job (that i have been at for over a year) and one part time job both at the museum. It's going really well but on top of that I am also going to school part time for Medical Terminology. (thank god it is online, id never make it to class.) You can usually find me writing my exams and studying for this course in the wee hours of the morning. I bet a lot of you can't say you have ever done an exam at 2am. ANYWAYS. And to make matters even MORE complicated, I am moving in less then ten days and have yet to start packing YIKES and for the past week I was sick with a fever maintaing a healthy level of over 102.5 degrees. Such a fever can lead one to do this slightly irregular, like claim people are cutting the insides of your arms or crawling around on the floor and yelling like a lunatic. Either way, those days are over and with a few more tests and doctors appointments I'll be well on the road to recovery. I don't even really know when my next day off of work is, but lets not be a buzzkill and think about my lack of time off some other time.

So the other day I went up to the Sooke Potholes with my roomate michelle. It was a brilliant time. We walked all the way up to Hideaway beach on the galloping goose and followed the road next to the river back and stoped at every single beach. We decided to skip "skipping rock" beach because we thought that would be apropriate. On our travels we did come across a rather perplexing piece of sinage. Feast your eyes.




Now there are two groups of people who this sign may confuse. Those groups consist of dumb blondes (ok no offence to the hair color) or complete Geniuses who take everything rather literally. (being the catagory I fall under....is that even how you spell genius?) Some of you may be wondering, like myself at the time, how it was humanly possible to be driving your car WITHOUT its tires touching the pavement. Such a thing would imply that this road does in fact not allow any traffic at all. But if one were to ponder on it just a little longer, they may come to the conclusion that this sign actually translates into "if you park on the side of the road and you are not pulled all the way over, we will tow you, so get the hell out of the way."


Rather then following the directions of these oh so clear instructions, we decided to be ignorant. I give you specimen # 2.


That's right park rangers. I in fact have TWO tires touching the pavement. Now don't get your panties tied up in a knot. We only parked to take this picture and we left PLENTY of space for the zero amounts of traffic that passed for the duration of this shot. One request though. Please make your signs more clear. You are confusing the geniuses and the blondes, and I don't know what one would be more dangerous in this situation.

MODEST MOUSE

The new Modest Mouse cd "We were dead before the ship even sank" is brilliant. You should already have it, but if you dont, get it already.



Thanks

So the other day i was driving downtown with my brother, and as i proceed to go through a GREEN LIGHT which is globally known as the GO color, a girl pedestrian decides to start walking across the street. so of course, i put on the breaks and then once again continue to drive through expecting her to realize that shes got to patiently wait on the side of the road. But NO. Rather then being patient and kind, she decides the only appropriate thing to do in this situation is SPIT ON MY WINDOW!! And I don't mean a tiny little girly spit. I mean this girl lougied allllll over my window. I drove around for a bit to try to find her and give her a talking to about respect, but I figured it was for the best cuz who knows shes probably got a freaking machete stuffed in her you know what.

Which brings me to my next story. I got a flat tire last night and had to change it by myself. (from driving onto the curb..and I don't mean just one wheel I mean my whoooole car...so much for trying to avoid accidents) I know this is an easy task but I've always had a brother or a dad to do it for me. But nope, I did it all by my lonesome and I am proud. But I couldn't believe the number of people who drove past and WALKED past me without so much as a "hey, need any help?" One guy actually walked by my in disgust, like he couldn't believe what I was doing. I bet if I was a supermodel those guys would have been there in a second and I wouldn't have had to lay a finger on that car. Well guess what. I don't need your fucking help. I don't want your help. It's to bad for you because if you hadda helped me you might have gotten some kind of recognition or some free IMAX passes (and we all know those are like gold. at 10.50 a pop who wouldn't want one) or at least some good freaking karma but nope, you get nothing.

Thanks for making me realize once again how truly pathetic people can be. Thanks for also reminding me how totally awesome I am. I will never be like any of you. You're welcome.

P.S. Don't you EVER spit on my car again. Next time you will not get away with it. I promise.

MTV SUES YOUTUBE

It was announced Tuesday that MTV has sued YouTube for one billion dollars.

Now I'm not going to get into the details because this one pretty much explains itself, but one question remains.

If I am not mistaken, MTV uses video clips from YouTube on their "MTV Live Hacked" Show on a daily basis. Would that not mean YouTube could in turn sue them for copyright infringement as well? Maybe not YouTube itself, but the users that publish their videos to this site?

Comon now people, lets worry about REAL problem like global warming, everyone else is already on the boat while you sit there whining like babies because YouTube is getting watched more then your piece of shit channel that "claims" to be music television but yet there is not a single music video in site. What the hell is up with that anyways? I should sue your asses for false advertising.

POST SECRET

THE REALISTIC NOT SO SECRET GUIDE TO CONTROLLING YOUR DESTINY PART I

Some of you reading this might still be bleary eyed from just watching and/or reading the very public and not so secret “secret” everyone and their dog has been raving about. Well snap out of it. Because you aren’t going to find any of that sugar coated, power of attraction and intention, you control the universe shit here. Yeah I said it, its crap. Shake it off. I am what some might call, a realist. Doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in karma or a higher power, but I do think we control our own destiny. People who work hard for what they want in life are at least minutely successful, and lazy sobs who sit around and wait for things to fall on their lap sometimes get lucky. Life is 100 percent what you make it and nothing more. If you haven’t yet read or watched the so called “secret” don’t bother, because I am going to give you an overview of what you (didn’t) missed, and have created a more realistic and much more effective approach to getting what you want out of life.


What the secret basically tries to convince you of is that if you think of something long and hard enough, you will eventually “attract” more of whatever it is you desire. And it goes on to explain on the flip side, that if you focus on what you dislike you will in turn, attract more of what it is you don’t want, because that is what the universe THINKS you wish to have. Through images of “wavelengths” being sent out to the universe from individuals mind and repetitive examples and concepts they explain this theory in GREAT detail. One of these examples is of a young boy who spends literally every waking moment of his little life wishing for a bicycle. He becomes so obsessed that he starts to act as though this bike already exists to him in real life. It goes on to show how his mighty power of attraction eventually gets some random old guy (most likely is poor grandfather) to show up at his doorstep with the bike. It’s too bad they forgot to mention that the spoiled little brat most likely asked for the bike after the temper tantrum he threw when he realized that wishing it into existence wasn’t going to work out like he planned.

In my opinion, they are half right. I do think that if you focus on something, more of the same will follow, but it is only because you NOTICE it above all else. If you choose to notice the bills coming to your mail box everyday, getting something other then a bill is going to have much less of an impact, and quickly slips into your subconscious. (Partially because it’s only just a flyer you are going to recycle within seconds anyways.) Its works just the same with how we react to people complaining compared to how we react to compliments and encouragement. At times it can seem like people bicker more often about things then they do anything else, but once again it’s merely because that is what we CHOOSE to notice. Unkind words and harsh unappreciative attitudes from strangers and acquaintances alike are far more noticeable to us, then kind and complimentary remarks, actually because they happen LESS frequently, making them having more of an impact when they do occur. Subconsciously though, it is the benevolent attitude that uplifts our minds and spirits. Our body language, expression, and attitude completely changes, which in the end creates our OWN “power of attraction”; which is where the term “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” comes from. (Some may argue that these were originally the words of Jesus Christ, either way it is still a valid expression.)

I have created a small list of what I THINK makes a person successful. You can disagree with it if you like, but you exist somewhere else and this is my blog.

Confidence – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. Even if you don’t know what you are doing it is proven that if you at least pretend to have faith in yourself the rest of the world will follow. This approach is probably how 80% of your bosses managed to weasel their way through their very own path of self righteousness to where they are today.

Goals – If you don’t have even a tiny idea of what you want, chances are you aren’t going to get it. Bill Gates wanted to make a lot of money, but millions of dollars didn’t appear out of thin air, grab the bag of stale cheetos from his hand, slap him in the face and say wake up asshole you’re rich. He had to actually WORK to get what he wanted. But he certainly didn’t do all by his lonesome, which brings me to my next point.

Support – You can’t do anything alone. No matter how independent and driven you are, you still need to have someone there on the sideline cheering you on. Parents fit pretty well into this role. I don’t know if you already know this or not, but when you are born they are actually required to sign a contract stating they will support you no matter what. So just rub that in their faces the next time you decide to fill your entire back with an intricate tattoo with a meaning only you know, dye your hair pink and hitchhike across Canada, you are listed as a beneficiary and they are in fact your benefactor. Because you control your own destiny, but need some help along the way they will agree because they want you to succeed. (HA. YEAH RIGHT.) J

Talent – getting what you want out of life does depend a tiny bit on what you have to offer. This can be acquired with a little bit of determination and persistence to a certain degree, but it is just as important to make your decisions wisely. If you want to be a rock star but you can’t carry a tune or read music you might want to reconsider, or at least take some lessons.

Ambition/Motivation – Everyone knows people won’t do something unless they actually WANT to. (Well not unless it involves a large sum of money, but then the direction of the motivation is just rerouted, not gone completely.) Surround yourself with things that inspire you in some way. Art, images of places you want to go/places you have been, poems, music, your ideals (ok..these are things that inspire me…but you get the idea.) , you will be surprised at the ideas you can develop from your influences, and the different directions that they can take.

Failures – No one would get where they are today without a few set backs along the way. Failures are often our most valuable learning experiences. Because we often expect success and an easy breezy way of life, it is the setbacks that catch our attention and make us change our ways (hopefully for the better, if not follow the classic trial and error method until success prevails).


My writing is getting kind of stingy and rough...well it sort of started out that way....... and this is just a tiny snippet of my way of thinking. Ok Mom I know you are saying “practice what you preach young lady” and maybe something along the lines of “THAT’S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL ALONG” and I do follow these general ideas to a certain extent, I just haven’t found my direction yet. As unresponsive and pessimistic as I may seem, I still have a tiny spark of faith left. I hope everyone else does to. Oh and on a side note, don’t be brainwashed by the un secret secret. If you must, let it inspire you. But don’t leave your destiny up to the universe. No matter how hard you may try broadcasting tiny signals of your wishes to the universe genie, they won’t be granted. Only you are responsible for your own destiny.

POST SECRET


LET LOVE IN

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to believe

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in


- goo goo dolls 2006




HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Dear Blog,
I am deeply sorry that I COMPLETELY disregarded your 2nd birthday. Beginning of Janurary was kind of a hectic and unsettling time, so please do forgive me. Ladies and Gentlemen, Janurary 8th, 2007 marks the 2nd year in my radtastic blogs life. Way to go for those of you who have held on this long, and go me for actually keeping a "journal" for longer then 5 entries. That is the good thing about an electronic journal..Because if a year or two passes since your last post, you dont have to feel bad about all the catching up to do and try to make yourself feel better by creating some kind of fresh start by runing off to the store to buy yourself yet ANOTHER journal to jot ANOTHER 5 entries in before the cycle begins all over again. No no, those days are over. I think I have about 9 journals with only the first few pages used...Does anyone want to purchase a collection of partially used journals? Might be kind of interesting to try and carry on from where I left off. Hmm that is a good marketing scheme for sure. Forget that I even mentioned it. MY IDEA. (anyways) This way, I can just pick up from where i finished on the previous post like we never missed a beat (or not and just jump right into something completely different...oh wait, thats what i do EVERYTIME I write a post in here, better keep that pattern.) And think about it this way: I am also saving trees. 1000 points for me. *applause*. Ok really though, thanks for all your comments, they mean more to me then you will ever know. Adrienne, those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me, I will honestly carry that with me forever. Thanks for makeing me smile a million smiles :)

Yours truly,

Lisa

NICE GIRLS FINISH LAST

So the other day at work, I did a crazy thing. See, I found this 20 dollar bill on the ground...and rather then stashing it in my pocket like a normal human being, i looked around in a panic to try to find the last customer who just left the area. I saw this older humble looking couple heading up the ramp towards the theatre and ran up after them. "How did you pay for that?" I ask. The man hesitated and said.."umm..cash?" answering my question with a question more then an answer. I proceeded to drill him and said "What kind of bill did you use?" ".........a fifty?" He responded. "Did you have any other bills in your wallet?" "umm...yeah." (This is when i take the idiot in me to another level.) "Oh well I just found this twenty dollar bill on the floor and i thought it might be yours." "OH YUP thats mine." The man snatches it from my hand before i have time to react without so much as a THANK YOU and continues on his way. What just happened?? Was he not greatful that I even bothered to do that? Just to reassure myself that the money made its way back to its rightful owner, I went to check the till and the last transaction that was made. Turns out, he paid with VISA and there was no 50 dollar bill in sight. What a freaking liar. Does he no realize that 20$ to me is like a mini fourtune?? I still have no idea what compelled me to do this, but it is a prime example that you cannot trust people, and that even though you are thoughtful and compassionate, it doesn't mean the rest of mankind is. Whoever you are, thank you very much for reminding me how undeserving and disrespectful people can be. I am still waiting for you to Thank me.

Britney Spears shaves her head

I know I know we don't care about the rich and famous and all the crazy shit they do with their time and money but this one cannot go unnoticed. Can you say mental breakdown? I hope she gave her hair to kids with cancer.




LIFE...OR SOMETHING LIKE IT

So we all know I am a bit notorious for procrastinating and losing things. Today, we are going to talk about procrastination. I don't do it for the sake of self sabotage, or because I don't WANT to do something, but more out of fear of the unknown. But I realized there is no more time for that. No more time to wait for the right thing to happen to me, if you want something you have to make it happen. Now don't think that I am getting soft and mushy and positive on you or anything, I'm still going to be the same sarcastic, cynical girl you know and either love to hate or hate to love, because it is easy and I am good at it, but at the same time I might try DOING something while I’m at it. And of course if I had my choice, I would put this little mission on the backburner and keep it to myself to sit and collect dust for another year, but if I figure I put it out in the open, then not only do I have to hold myself to it, but I can't let all of you down either!! I know you are probably all getting tired of the same old woe is me rant so I'm doing you all a favour. I think the first step to this is to start with a list of things I am interested in doing and accomplishing. Now at this point in time a lot of these are just mere ideas, some more far fetched then others, but you gotta start with something right? Ok HERE WE GO!!


1. Go back to school (either to be a Medical Office Assistant or a Hospital Unit Clerk) - I have chosen this particular education, because I am very interested in the Medical Field and have aspirations to one day be an addictions counsellor or hold a position that assists troubled youth. Now because I am not sure this is exactly for me, I figure if I go to school for eight months to become an MOA or HUC I can get a position within an addictions center or facility so I can be exposed to this environment while working and making money.

2. Volunteer/Internship in Ghana, Africa - Now the only reason this one is not number one on my list is because of finances. My bank account is not in the best shape right now (to say the very least) so if I go to school first, and either try to take my practicum in Ghana, or head over there before my student loan payments have to kick in then I am set. I am in love with Africa and its people’s struggles and stories, and I think the only way I can truly be satisfied is if I experience the culture and beauty of it all first hand. Now I know someone reading this (cough..mom) is FREAKING out at this idea because we all know that some parts of Africa don't have a very good.....reputation...and I don't think she is all to comfortable with my obsession with Somalia, a place with no recognized central government authority, but not to fear. I am not going there. As much as I'd love to help those in danger, I don't think I would come out alive. So this is why I have opted for Ghana. It is considered to be one the safest and most welcoming countries in Africa, and it is the country of choice for most volunteers. Another exciting part of this chapter in my life is that my good friend April wants to travel to volunteer as well so hopefully she can join me on this journey.

3. Take an art class - I miss getting my hands dirty. I want to be covered in paint. (Well...only if I am wearing scrap clothes or it washes out.) But seriously tho. I miss being creative

4. Start skipping again - I think I have made it very clear throughout the years of this blog's existence that skipping was a huge part of my life. I miss it VERY much and will do whatever it takes to get back into it. It is one way I would like to fundraise for my trip to Ghana. For a long time I have always dreamed of organizing and hosting a benefit show with a skipping performance as the main act to fundraise for a good cause, but until now I had never known what the cause was going to be. So now that I have the motivation and the purpose, I really hope this is something that can happen. I just need the bodies...any skippers out there? There are quite a few teams here in Victoria now, so I'll have to try to track them down.

5. Biking to work more - Now that I have a stronger light and the proper reflective gear I can now venture out onto the Galloping Goose in the dark. The only thing holding me back from making the very short journey of 30 minutes to work via my bicycle is that once the trail is over it shoots you into one of the busiest and most confusing intersections in downtown Victoria. And just remember, this is all takes place for me during rush hour as well. Scares me to death.

6. Be a tourist in my own hometown - I still don't understand how the tickets can be only 9 dollars, but it covers free admission to some of Victoria's best tourist attractions Feb. 28th - March 4th. I think that one explains itself, I am a sucker for cheesy learning and this town is full to the brim with it.

7. Start selling my jewellery - I have SOOOO MANY supplies and beads that it’s almost taking over my bedroom. I have no idea why I don't just do it....It sort of has to do with the fact that I am a perfectionist when it comes to anything I create and nothing ever feels good enough. But I guess what is considered imperfect to me, is a treasure to someone else. Does anyone own or work in a shop or salon that would like to take some of my creations under their wing?

8. Pay off my credit card bill - This one would be higher on the list, but with my current budget (that sends me plummeting 200 dollars under every month) and my current position it is not possible. It also relies on and ties in with other things listed previous. So unless I win the lottery or some kind rich person decides to pay it off for me, it will remain as it is.

Now I have many more ideas and aspirations but I can't imagine anyone has read into it this far anyways. So I will post it in segments, along with my progress. Hopefully this works. See you all in a decade or two.

TIME

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, don’t go so fast
I’m missing the moments as they pass
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time
I’m down I’m down on my knees
I’m begging for all your sympathy
But you (I’m just an illusion) you don’t seem to care (I wish that I could)
You humble people everywhere (I don’t mean to hurt you)
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
So wait for me this time
I should’ve know better
I shouldn’t have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away
Now this is my time
I’m going to make this moment mine.(I shouldn’t have wasted those days)
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
I’ve looked in the mirror
My world’s getting clearer
So wait for me this time

- Chantal kreviazuk

Happy Valentines Day and cupcakes and rainbows and butterflies and shunshine and all that fluffy shit.

TOP TEN REASONS BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINES DAY IS THE BEST THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO YOU……ALMOST

9. No plans – No one to make em, no one to break em. If you wanna do something, what is there to stop you? You wouldn’t stand yourself up…or would you?

8. No need to dress up - My number once choice for Valentines Day attire is sweatpants. I don’t have anyone to impress. Just like how sweatpants are my choice for everyday attire. Comon they’re so sexy right?

7. No guilt - You can eat a whole box of candy yourself without feeling bad and having to explain why all the truffles from the pot of gold are missing.

6. Hassle free dining experience - Eating out for one is a no brainer. Just think no reservations, no waiting, no having to listen to never ending list of “Dinner specials for two”, no arguing over who will pick up the bill, no fuss. And the wait staff is going to be at your beck and call because for some reason they feel sorry that you are dining alone on valentines. They will never know you did so by choice.

5. No excuses - you get to stay home and watch chick flicks in your sweats eating chocolate and being lazy without having to come up with a reason for your actions because all your other friends are out with their significant others.

4. Can watch the movies YOU want to see - Without having to worry about your partner whining about it was your choice LAST TIME as they continue to support their argument of why Terminator/Love Actually is the most appropriate choice for the evening. Did I mention that you get to wear sweatpants and pig out on your own chocolate while you watch in the comfort of your own home?

3. No fake reactions – You Don’t have to spend hours practicing the “aww honey I love it…you shouldn’t have” reaction when your significant other shows up with a box of turtle chocolates (did I mention you were allergic to nuts?) and the last remaining bouquet of overpriced, wilted and demolished supermarket roses. Singles like myself do not need to worry. I can go out and buy myself whatever I want and I know I will love it!

2. No disappointment - With Valentine’s day comes a plethora of presents that are insincere and artificial. People feel forced to get something for their significant others because it is considered social tradition to do so instead of from the heart. People get disappointed on valentines because for most it is NOT just the thought that counts. (Especially women, cuz really they are the only ones that care this holiday even existed…if it was up to the guys feb.14th would be national sit on the couch and watch sports day)

AND THE #1 REASON BEING SINGLE ON V-DAY IS AWESOME:

1. You're not about to get dumped. Think about it.

At this point if you managed to make it through you may be wondering…well where is reason number 10? Why on earth would you start at top ten list with the number nine. Are you a complete idiot? Do you know how to count? Do you have any sense at all? And the answers to those common questions are as follows. It has yet to be created. Because I can. No. Yes. And, Sometimes. You see, I am leaving reason number ten up to you. All those single people up there who wish to contribute to my list, this is your opportunity. Leave me a comment, I’ll pick the one I like most and repost it with the complete list as soon as I see fit. So common, contribute already. Coupled folk need not apply. Your suggestions would probably be crappy. Unless you are Minn, your suggestions are always welcome here.

Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more.

Brought to you by the clever folks at meish.org

enjoy.


POST SECRET


magic

WOW.


What an amazing concert that was. Raine Maida, you are an absolute genious. Has anyone heard his "yellow brick road"? I'ts not on his EP and it is imperative to my well being that I track this song down. It is fantastic.

Hiding in the shadows under the hood of her sweater, Chantal backed up Raine during his opening acts on her piano. Although her prescence on stage was unknown to others, I could tell the moment she touched those keys that it was the one and only Chantal Kreviazuk. They were both amazing. I must say that Chantal and Raine both are a thousand times better live then they are recorded. Which is a HUGE deal (because I love them both recorded as well.) Chantals voice just radiated throughout the entire 900 seat theatre. Although we were seated in what some refer to as the "nose bleed" section accidentally, it didn't even matter. Her music and voice would reach all the way to the ends of the earth if there was no sound barrier above us (aka..the roof.) Anyways to sum it up, it was a fantastic evening with top notch company (being my mommy, chantal and raine) and will be embedded in my memory forever.

Peace and Love,
Lisa

CHANTAL KREVIAZUK CONCERT TONIGHT!!

I'm alone is this life, and these old jeans are too tight
and now I can't pick my feet off the floor
I try to laugh but i cry
my dignity is undignifided, guess I'm really on my own
love is like a little boy, no I'm not paranoid
but I'm on to you, yeah yeah
well I'm not seventeen and I don't want to be
so why am I hiding

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm a very simple girl
and I don't fit into this world, the city lights leave me in a daze
and even though we've never met, you know what I'm trying to forget
somethings you can't change

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm underneath

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful

I'm wonderful

- chantal kreviazuk

SOOOOO EXCITED!!



CONTEST

OK,

So if any of you can tell me who this lovely lady is and what character she is so brilliantly immitating you win a prize.

*disclaimer, contest only open to non family member residents. Minn you are family, sorry.