Love letters

Dear Lord of the tards,

youre gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna get it.....bizitch.

mwuhahahaha. good will always triumph over evil, remember that jackass (es) . :)
you're welcome.

Best wishes.

love, Lisa xoxo

p.s. why you got your panties up in a bunch?

Happy Holidays

So I spent my christmas with the family up island and had a fantastic time. There is nothing that i enjoy more then forcing my family to play board games (this is the one time of they year they know they can't say no) and watching home movies such as : the epic puppet show featuring Lisa 7 years, steven not old enough to understand. I only had one day off (christmas day) but it was a golrious day off full of chocolate for breakfast (pancakes to) and good solid quality family time. I was spoiled yet again and got a new razor v3t cell phone and an adapter for my car deck to power my ipod through my stereo system. Was a bit of an inconvienience when my car decided to break down on christmas day, but dad the super mechanic came to the rescue and 500 dollars later, she runs like a beaut. (and she should for that much money.) gak. So now it is back at the grind for me at work, we are hella busy, and my next day off will be the next holiday Jan first. I don't have any plans for new years eve other then reading watching movies and painting, but if anyone has any plans i would like to consider them for myself...I don't really feel like going out and paying 25$ + for cover to a place i don't really normally enjoy that doesn't end up being any different then a regular night out with the exception of longer lineups and more expensive drinks. But I am willing to take any offer/suggestions you might have into consideration.

Anyways, gotta get ready for another day in movie hell. Wish me luck.


so my blog has hit the 1000 mark. celebration commence. wohoo to me.(and no, 999 of those hits are not from ME checking MY website to up the count. I made it so my views do not effect the counter...otherwise it would probaly be at lik 10,000 by

p.s. i am awesome.

p.p.s. i have really white teeth. im so proud


Dear momma's boy,
I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after

Dear narcissus boy,
I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy,
I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to love you, try to love you when you really don't want me to)

Dear egotist boy,
You've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance

Dear popular boy,
I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to help you, try to help you when you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy,
I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to

Dear magnetic boy,
You've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to change you try to, try to change you when you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

- alanis morissette

Talking to Americans Part II

So the other day I had a rather amusing run-in with a family of our friendly american neighbours. While the gentleman was searching his pockets for some canadian funds, he proceeded to ask "So is the canadian dollar equivalent to the british pound??" GOD IF THAT WERE TRUE ID BE A MILLIONARE! what a fantastic exchange rate that would be!!!! I was a bit speechless at the time, as I was still waiting for him to break out in laughter and say an extremely awkward but anticipated "JUST KIDDING!" when to my suprise...he wasn't joking at all. After i spent a good five minutes explaing how our dollar face value was exactly the same as theirs minus a mere 8 percent, we got into the subject of exchange rates. "So what does that mean exactly.." he proceeded. "So what is your dollar worth in american, like 20 cents? HA. Do you not know how to calculate simple math? (well i dont either, but I can still tell you that an 80 cent difference is far from correct) Don't you wish it was. Where do you people come up with this material? It is absolutely the funniest shit I have ever heard. And you say it with such a straight face! you have me so fooled. You have seriously GOT to be kidding...right???....

After that lovely exchange of words, Mr.Intelligence's daughter approaches me and I am once again speechless. ( twice in one day is pretty tough, well done.) I take a double look at the "Bling" hanging around her neck, and what I see is absolutely appauling. She has a gargantuan charm covered in jewels and crystals in the form of a very detailed HAND GUN! Call me old fashioned, but I really find that repulsive and extremely un-appropriate. If my daughter were to ever wear something so tasteless and un-fashion saavy I would rip that thing right off her neck, and send her straight to boot camp. (well, actually Ill just go ahead and admit right now that I would probably undo it properly, I mean who wants to ruin a perfectly good chain...minus the ghastly charm of course?)

So completely off topic, a lot has gone down lately, both for the good and bad. I will unveil these updates in the very new future...If i want.
god's gonna cut you down
im so tired of being lonely .

History Brief

Now most of you know me well enough to know parts of my past. But for those of you that don't, here is a little look back in time.
Growing up I was on a skipping team for a solid 11 years of my life. I loved every single part of that sport. (yes it IS a sport.) And before you start making assumptions no we did not just bounce around chanting "had a little sportscar in 1978 took it around the cooooooorner and slammed on the breaks. policeman stopped me and put me in jail, all i had was ginger ale, how many bottles did i drink..1...2...3.." ok wait a minute. Just because I know that rhyme does not mean anything...hmm..Im really not supporting my argument to well. But I don't care about that, because once you watch these videos I will have made a believer out of you.

First of all, let me give you a quick breakdown on how a skipping competition goes down:
They are usually 2 days long. First day is generally speed and endurance. In this catagory there is both single and team events. An example of an event is single rope 30 second speed. My best time if i remember correctly was 168 revolutions in 30 seconds. If you don't understand how fast that is, i suggest you try running in one spot for 30 seconds counting only one leg. You may be lucky to break 70. You then take that number and times it by two. (obviously so you can count for both feet.) The same rules apply to team events, except for it is done in double dutch and one person is skipping working their ass off and two people are turning the ropes at lightning speed. An example of another event is called "power" and it is where you do as many double or triple unders as you can until you mess up.

Second day is generally the freestyle day. This is where it really gets creative. As a single skipper your routines are usually close to a minute long, and you must pack as MANY of the hardest tricks you can into this tiny window of opportunity. Points are knocked off for mess ups and added for difficulty, use of space, creativity, time to music, and certain other technicalities (much like figure skating. including the politics.) Same rules apply to team, you are just in the double dutch format with either one single skipper or two skippers in the middle.

Now that you have been briefed i think you are almost ready.

I attended numerous competitions throughout my time on the Rhythm Ropers and closer to the end of my career, placed in the top 3 at provinicial and national levels for the greater part of my performances. (as a single and as part of a team.) It is something that I am proud of and I can brag about it if i want. I gotta lot of blue kickin around in the ribbons and metal bin i have stashed away. I kicked some serious ass. So for all you non believers out there, Ima guna make a believer out of yous. If more people skipped with the intensity and drive that these next videos do, maybe skipping would finally be recognized as a real sport. (even though it already is a real sport, I made that very clear at the beginning. I' just saying maybe now people will ACKNOWLEDGE that.) The only vids I could find on youtube so far are all double dutch freestyle, but its a good start. Anyways, i guess you can watch the videos now. I really miss skipping, can you tell?

Rope skipping
History Brief cont...

Life Update

So. Lot of new things happening lately. Good things. They are as follows:

- got my bike here finally. Now I can bike to work and save buttloads of money.

- Have just signed up to become a volunteer at "NEED" a crisis line here in victoria. My traning will commence sept.29th.

- Have lost 10 lbs. Don't look any different but i guess its 10 lbs of something from somewhere right?

- Another peice of good news goes here but its subject cannot yet be disclosed.

- Victoria idol starts on sept.29th. Well this is when my audition cd needs to be in. I have to have 2 pre-recorded songs and my friend cody is going to help me out. Still don't know if i am going to endure this at a recording studio or try to create a makeshift one at my house. Any suggestions?This may quite possibly be the most terrifying experience I have ever done as of yet. I still can't believe im doing this. But i will keep you updated with the progress, if any.

That's basically it for the brief news update. It's my day off today but I have just been notified there is a possibility I will be called in so i better go to the gym now or i wont get to go.

What if it all means something?

If I could do anything for you,
Believe me I would
Do you feel the same? Feel the same as me?
If I could be anyone for you,
Believe me I would
I'm not ashamed not ashamed to be.
Its hard for me to know,
Sometimes I feel like letting go
But what if it all means something?

If I could go anywhere for you,
Believe me I would
I'd run away, I'd ran away, I'd leave.
If I could fix everything for you,
Believe me I would
Do you feel the same, feel the same as me?
Its hard for me to know, well maybe I should just let go.
But what if it all means something?

~ Chantal Kreviazuk



So I have been doing something for the last month and am now ready to disclose what it is. It has taken me a while because I wanted to make sure I was going to be 100 % into it and a bit successful before i disclosed this information to the world only to let myself down in public.

I am on a fitness and meal plan through my gym. This is what my week looks like:

Mon - Weights & Core class
Tues - Cardio
Wed - Weights
Thursday - Cardio
Friday - Weights
Sat - Cardio
Sun - Weights

I know it looks boring but i do in fact do different things on the days marked "cardio" and still do cardio on the days marked weights. So really that is not even a remotely good representation of my week at all.

On another note, the meal plan is fantastic. I have only been on the nutrition plan for 11 days now but It is completely personalized to my choices. (they had me pick things out of a huge list and then It got sent away to make MY book) .It is based on the "zone" theory and concentrates on keeping your blood sugar levels the same throughout the day (among a plethora of other things.) It it is based on a 2 and 3 point system. A 3 point meal is made up of 3 Protien points, 3 Carbs, and 3 fats. Your snacks are instead 2, 2, and 2. (you get it. its not complicated math....well maybe for me.) Anyways, it focuses on created a completely balanced diet so you are not depriving your body of things it still needs (like carbohydrates...)and it is designed to help create muscle mass and reduce weight mass.

It is a huge book and I have learnt so much already. My days are planned out for me but it is easy to replace food with other things that have the same value, there is even a conversion chart to help me :) And best of all, my grocery lists are already made so I don't even have to think about it when i go shopping. Only downside is I am spending twice as much money on groceries as I was before (there is actually a new list every week) but I haven't eaten out at all so I guess it weighs out.

Now, some of you may be wondering "well has she lost any weight?" And my response is this. For some strange and unknown reason I am not yet willing to divuldge my original weight amount before this little project. It is completely bizarre since I just recently uncovered my inability to do fractions on a very large and PUBLIC scale which is probably far more embarassing then my weigt will ever be, but I just at this time and no comfortable doing so. But I will tell you this:

- I have gained 6 lbs of muscles mass
- I have lost 7 lbs of fat mass
- And have reduced my Fat % down 4 percent.

And on a whole I have lost 5 lbs.

Right now I don't feel like I look any different, but I am way happier and I have definately noticed a change in my energy level and also have improved mental acuity. (although my co-workers may beg to differ based on how many times I have forgotten my day planner at work i nthe last week...).

So that's that. Its a go. If anyone has any suggestions or would like more information on my nutrition and welness plan just ask. I am not afraid of questions and as you probably already know I would tell yo anything..yeah other then that weight thing.

But now its time for some bike action. Off to the gym I go.

10th wonder of the world

So first and foremost, do not correct me on how many wonders of the world there really are. It IS arguable and im not going to get into it. General consensus says there is 7 natural wonders of the world so im going to stick with that. end of discussion.

over to the point of tonights post...aaand switch.

Today at work i did not have a hair elastic. However, when i put my hair into a bun, it stayed there for over 2 hours. Without any assistance from so much as a clip, bobby pin or hair elastic. nothing. ziltch. wich is why I am proclamining this phenomenon an unexplainable wonder of the world. the 10th in fact. Left a lot of room between 7 and 10 to ensure that way i am not stepping on any other wonder of the worlds toes, cuz that would be a tragedy.

Off to make some more earrings. gotta keep up with the daily minimum of making 3 per day.

out and over.

step by step

So something that I like to do for fun, whether i am alone in the vehicle or with a passenger, sometimes I like to pump tunes from artists such as New Kids on the Block, Vanilla Ice, and of course the soundtracks to Little Mermaid and The Lion King. Now usually this is done as a complete joke, to see what kind of attention i can direct towards myself. (and of course, nothing sounds better then "I just cant wait to be king" by the lion king at full blast backed by phat bass from the subwoofer in the trunk..). But the other day as I was on my long journey to work aboard the public transit vehicle of awesomeness (aka the bus..) Something caught my attention.

I could not believe my ears. There it was, a brand new white jetta with one induvidual driving the car, with a sound system turned up louder then my headphones on my ipod busting out "step by step" by new kids on the block.

Now let me tell you, whomever you are...i know you are out there are my idol and quite possibly my soulmate. No one else would have this kind of courage, and for that i praise you.

I am still speechless..if you don't count the 216 some odd words I have just typed out..225...226... ok enough of that.

Good riddance.

P.S. For those of you who did not spend the majority of your early childhood in the 80s and early 90s, let me tell you this. New Kids on the Block were musical geniouses. Nothing will ever be able to match that kind of pure, solid talent...haha..oh and the dancing skills...

Productivity level = + 300%


I have had my eye on this little number for a while. Also, some of you extremely observant people may notice a certain thread chilling out in this picture. Well it is gone now, my camera died and i don't have time to change the batteries. ( i not have time or am i just lazy?....not sure.) I'll have more pictures up soon. There is a bigger story behind these sheets..not sure if i will share it for the sake of coming across as a bit creepy, i'll have to think about it.

Lisa the queen of productivity. (this is not a joke. please familiarize yourself with the post titled ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS - THIS IS NOT A JOKE for more information regarding when i am joking and how to react.)

Loosen up my buttons baby.....i just ate.

Tribute to the Pussycat Dolls - "Buttons"

I think this one speaks for itself. Can you tell how much this song repulses me? I had to make this as a retaliation because unfourtunately praying does not stop songs from coming on the radio as I was unpleasantly surprised by this little number which was ironically accompanied by justin timberlake's "sexy back" once again this morning. BARF.

Public Service Announcement

Just a quick note to Justin Timberlake. --- Stop trying to bring sexy back, its already been broughten. I brought it. stop stealing my material, think of something original already. gosh ---

And now I pray.

To the radio gods. Oh mighty ones. For the love of all things holy please refrain from playing this song more then once in one hour, i really dispise waking up to it. You know how it infuriates me to see him flaunting my material. Amen.
p.s. I would also like to thank kirsten dunst for no apparent reason.

Definition - Broughten:

a.To bring something.....before someone else?
b. I had already planned on fighting you.

(For the recond, since we are on the topic of being original, some of you nerds that watch stupid movies *cough* bring it on *cough, may argue that use of this word is anything but original. This IS however my material, I did create the word broughten. thats right i claim this as my own without any guilt or remorse what so ever. and you cannot stop me.)


To the people yelling on the megaphone driving past my house at 3 in the morning the past three nights. Please stop. its a little exessive, and some of us are at least trying to pretend to be sleeping. I do my best thinking when im trying to get to bed and you are rudely interrupting my thought process with your shenanigans. Unless you are the cops and are on the lookout for a mass murderer or a car theif and find it necessary to yell out random things on the megaphone, please refrain from using this effective tool. I find it rather repulsive.

Kind Regards,

Lisa the crumpy.

Crumpy - Definition: A lovely mix between cranky and grumpy. State of upmost discontent towards the folks with the megaphone.

I have a complaint


Question: Do nice guys finish last?

Answer: Absolutely not. but nice guys with bad teeth do.


Ok. So first and foremost, I have absolutely NO idea why i am posting this. It is absolutely mortifying and by showing it to the public i am taking the risk of permanently and publicly humiliating myself. So here it goes. Goodbye self-esteem, goodbye repuatation. I give you Lisa the not-so-genious.

This is a very ...intelligent...conversation that commenced between my little brother and myself at approximately 12:10 this morning.

Lisabelle says:
thats like tellign me to do fractions in my head instead of with a calculator or converting it to money
Steveiecore- says:
but i write SO SLOW that way.
Lisabelle says:
i just cant.
Steveiecore- says:
i can...
Steveiecore- says:
im weird. i can do ALOT of things both hands.
Lisabelle says:
like i dont even know what 1/3 plus 1/3 equals
Lisabelle says:
well it equals
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
which equals
Steveiecore- says:
then some things i cannot do ANYTHING with one hand or the other.
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
so how can 1/3 plus 1/3 equal 1/3
Lisabelle says:
i dont get it.
Steveiecore- says:
1/3 plus 1/3 equals 2/3
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
i suck
Lisabelle says:
can you believe i just messed that up
Steveiecore- says:
put them like this
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
1 1
_ + _
3 3
Steveiecore- says:
add the TOPS
Steveiecore- says:
not the bottoms.
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
so when you add
Lisabelle says:
you always only add the top.
Steveiecore- says:
Steveiecore- says:
there ya go
Lisabelle says:
what about when you multiply
Steveiecore- says:
dur...been awhile..hmm
Lisabelle says:
1/3 plus 1/3 equals..2/3!
Steveiecore- says:
Steveiecore- says:
what does
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
6/8th's plus 5/8ths equal?
Lisabelle says:
hold on.
Lisabelle says:
is this a trick
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
cuz its not guna work the way you told me
Steveiecore- says:
yes it will.
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
Steveiecore- says:
which equals?
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
well, is 11 bigger than 8?
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
than, you take 8 out of the top number
Steveiecore- says:
making it a whole.
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
thats stupid.
Steveiecore- says:
Steveiecore- says:
1 and?
Lisabelle says:
so wait. i dont get it!
Lisabelle says:
i go 11 minus 8
Steveiecore- says:
you have 11 of 8
Lisabelle says:
and taht cant be possible
Steveiecore- says:
like, if a pizza is sliced into 8 peices each pizza
Lisabelle says:
gjkdgkljdfgjdfkgjkdljg I HATE FRACTIONS
Steveiecore- says:
you have 11 peices
Steveiecore- says:
how many pizza's do you have?
Lisabelle says:
and 8 are eaten.
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
ok. you have 1 pizza plus
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
3 peices
Lisabelle says:
so that means you have 1 and..something?
Steveiecore- says:
1 and 3 what's?
Lisabelle says:
idont know.
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
how many slices per pizza?
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
1 and 3/8
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
arent you supposed to learn this in like. gr.4?
Lisabelle says:
this is totally ackward.
Lisabelle says:
do you know thati have NEVER known that
Steveiecore- says:
Steveiecore- says:
you know what you should do?
Lisabelle says:
i cant believe my little brother is teaching me math.
Steveiecore- says:
put this allin your blog
Lisabelle says:
Steveiecore- says:
copy+paste convo.
Lisabelle says:
Lisabelle says:
yes good idea
Steveiecore- says:
dooo itttt
Lisabelle says:
excepti will embarass myself.
Steveiecore- says:
just the fractions part
Lisabelle says:
thats what i mean
Steveiecore- says:
Lisabelle says:
its terrifying
Steveiecore- says:
its hilarious.


so yesterday i went to the snowbirds airshow with my parents and it was absolutely fantastic. and i dont mean the sarcastic kind. I mean real take your breath away blow your mind kind of fantastic.

comon, hit me

So I was driving on my way up to my parents place for the night, when just after a blind hill a young man (with his back turned) decided to situate himself in the middle of my lane. Thus, forcing me to slam on my breaks to prevent from potentially taking his life.

With his arms spread out, shirt in hand, he turned around and slurred "com'on hit me...hit me...hit me tough guy.."

I didn't know what to think. It was so creepy. I couldn't believe how close I came to hitting him. I wonder what he would have done if I had.

Anyways..i honked the horn which in turn made him more agressive so I decided to just wait it out. After a few minutes I got a little break when he stumbled to the side of my car and I took off. I am not guna lie, I was quite frightened even though I did lock my car doors right away. But in a way I kind of felt bad for him. I didn't want him or anyone to get hurt so I called 911 right away and they informed me that they were already on their way. Turns out I wasn't the only person stopped in my tracks by this human being that night.

To the man in the middle of the road, try as hard as you can to not encourage people in automobiles to hit you. We do have an advantage and some people unfourtunately are not as patient or kind in this type of situation as I was. Also, if its possible, please try to control your alcohol/drug intake. My senses tell me that they do not help your decision making skills. If it is not possible to do this alone, there are people to help you out. Good luck to you.

Goodnight all.

Happy birthday to you...

My little brother turned 17 to day. I guess you can say hes not so little anymore. Happy birthday Stevie, Love your guts.

Isn't his little hand adorable?

- photo photocopied by the notorious stevie himself at age 3 yrs. (with a little help from momma of course.)

I'll love you till my veins explode

So I just made this background the other day inspired by lyrics from one of my favorite bands the paper cranes. I talk about them a lot so I except you to already be familiar with their music. If you aren't do it already.
p.s. does any one have a scanned or stock image of the front and back..(or just front) of a polaroid they can send to me? I don't have one. Thanks

It's the never ending story but with no Luck Dragon.

So I watched the second "Pirates" the other night and was going to write a review for it, but I stumbled across this ninja review and he took the words right out of my mouth AND now I don't have to spend the energy to write the review myself which is also awesome. enjoy

(Right now I am not going to direct post videos from youtube because it is causing trouble for some viewers and i am far to stupid tofigure out how to fix it properly.)

Good times

So I just finished making a t-shirt logo for some friends of Alexs' and I think they turned out kind of cool. They are going to the Calgary Stampede and will be representing Vancouver Island. Hahaha hopefully they behave...something about the shirts tells me they wont..

I am off to shawnigan lake to see the family and of course a good steak dinna. Stokearific!!!

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeace out. (<--im funny.)

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I'll follow you into the dark.

Project I did in first year of Multimedia. Its ok if you are into that really quickly put together photo collage sort of thing. I don't even know if i spelt collage right but you know what,I am not even going to spell check it. I know, I am a rebel. I DO WHAT I WANT!

untitled..for now

I was having a nice evening chat with my (extremely talented) friend Aaron and without even realizing it at the time, out popped my very first "secret" if you will. Now rather then doing the trendy thing and sending it in to post secret, I will just keep it here for myself and a few others to enjoy. I may or may not write more about this later, its just that it is close to 2:30 in the morning and after a few failed attempts of trying to call my friend adrienne in australia (yet again) I am quite exhausted from it all and am going to go to bed.

p.s. i got to watch harry potter 3 at the IMAX tonight and let me just say it was AWESOME!

Dr.Phils advice

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off:

- a bottle of Merlot
- a bottle of White Zinfandel
- a bottle of Baileys
- a bottle of Kahlua
- a package of Oreos
- the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions
- the rest of the Cheesecake
- a box of chocolates and some saltines

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

~ excerpt taken from one of the few forwards I have received that are actually funny and valuable and don't promise me that my wish will come true if I pass it on. Brought to you by the lovely Michelle Ranta. ~

Feeling Crapulent.

crap·u·lence ( P ) Pronunciation Key (krpy-lns)n.

Sickness caused by excessive eating or drinking.
Excessive indulgence; intemperance.

[From crapulent, sick from gluttony, from Late Latin crpulentus, very drunk, from Latin crpula, intoxication, from Greek kraipal.]

crapu·lent adj. crapu·lous adj.

Beautiful Disaster

I would probably skrem to if i didnt get eney sleep.

Shortest story you may have ever read (but also the most . Definatley no fooling around here. Short sweet and to the point is always a good approach, no need to fluff it up with useless words. I mean if the kid was crying and then he stopped you have got a solid structure : implied setting (bedroom), plot (and a thick one at that) and a nice resolution followed by an oh so happy ending. (for all of us.) Note the "Jump Rope for Heart" Logo guy lurking in the background. What on earth is he doing in there?

My brother always had this thing to write certain dates and his name completely backwards...maybe the 5 in the date is a tribute to him? Either that or me having a tiny moment of dislexia, your call I guess cuz I sure as heck don't remember. (you'd think I would the way I fondly, or not so fondly recall other vivid memories from my childhood.)

Brilliant words Lisa. Well done.

We demand that the government of canada discourage the canadian tradition of placing senior citizens on northern ice flows and leaving them to perish

So the other night at work I experienced a solid flow of american customers, who all pay only with american currency. I always politely explain that unfortunately I can only give canadian currency back and they either look at me like a deer in headlights, put up a fight right away, or pretend they completely understand only to find out that AFTER I close the bill and return their change they really have no idea at all and proceed to ask "well, this is canadian money. I need american change, I have no use for this." Here are some common interaction between myself (the sweet, caring employee that i am) and our friendly neighbouring country customer.

(please note that anything that I have placed in brackets are things I did not actually say out loud, but things I like to keep to myself until I get to write about it. Placing irrelevant information and things i choose to not say outloud has become a long time habit for me and it is the only way i can say evil things without feeling bad or having any repercussions about them because I often forget that people who read what I write do not dismiss these comments like I do.)

- hello and what can I get for you today?
- small soda please.
-And what kind of POP would you like today?
- Diet cola.
- Diet pepsi ok?
- I guess.
- O.K. that will be 2.00 please
- Is that in american funds?
- No, I'm sorry it is in canadian funds. (We are in Canada and even though for some strange reason we do have the american conversion, you also didn't tell me you were american, I don't read minds.) But I can tell you what it comes to in U.S. Funds, it is $1.80 *smiles*.
- $1.80?!? That is only 20 cents different. Isn't your dollar worth less then ours?
- Yes it is (hence it being 1.80 instead of 2.00) but the currency exchange rate just went down from 13% to 10% the other day. (and by other day I mean over a month but I don't want to make you feel bad, yet.)
- Oh wow. Ok well here is a 20$ bill.
- Thank you. Just so you know I can only give you canadian change, is that alright?
- Oh yes.
- Here you are, $18.00 is your change.
- $18.00...what am I going to do with all this canadian money? I am only in town for 3 hours.
- Oh, I am sorry. I thought you said that was alright.
- Well here, I'll just pay with my canadian change instead. what is it, 2.00?
- I am sorry, unfortunately I cannot do a refund on a transaction paid for in american currency, our tills cannot convert the exchange back so it will put me out (you had canadian change all along and decided to pay with your american $20.00 bill...what??).
- Listen. I am sick and I just want my pepsi.
- Can I help whoever is next in line? (you are sick and you are drinking pepsi??...umm i think what you need honey is some flat ginger ale.)
(customer huffs off and proceeds to sit on the bench passing demon eyes at me and faking a really bad hot flash of some comes to the rescue..they all pass demon eyes at me.)

- Hello and what can I get for you today.
- We will have (copy and paste same soda. vs pop, cola vs pepsi shenanigan here.)
- That will be (insert combination of bills and change.)
- (copy and paste the "Is that in american funds?" exchange of words here.)
- Alright well we have some canadian money here lets see what we have. Can you just pick it out for me dear, I don't know which is which?
- Certainly sir. We just need this bill and this change. (see this 5 Dollar bill? it says 5 dollars. see these quarters? they are named, look, feel and weigh the same as yours. See this dime? they are named, look, feel and weigh the same as yours.. etc etc.. you get the idea.)
- Kind exchange of words, customer walks away happy and still has no idea that our money works just like theirs and that we are not in fact a foreign country at all and that Szechwan, Saskatchewan does not exist, is not being raided by the Russians, and is not in a foreign country. (if this comment does not make sense, it will as soon as you watch Talking to Americans with Rick Mercer part I, which I have posted for your convienience at the end of this post.)

After some research such as where Americans can actually use their own currency in other countries and get away with it and I was unpleasantly surprised to find that MANY foreign countries do accept it as a form of currency, and some even use it as their primary form of currency!! So I guess it is partly not their fault, they are used to it. But don't you find that a bit self-righteous? Maybe it is actually our fault as a country and as business patrons that we accept it and should no longer. God knows in the summer here we would probably lose 70 percent of our sales if we were to do such a thing. I am pretty sure that if I went down to the States and try to use my Canadian money there (and I mean just trying to, I don't mean carrying on about it or putting on any kind of show to the extreme that we experience this issue up here.) I would seriously be considered the stupidest person in the country at that point..well at least the stupidest customer in the store, let alone possibly being considered a terrorist, anti-american among a plethora of other stereotypes and criticisms.

My question is what can we do about this as a nation?? Should we put our foot down and let the canadian dollar flourish in our own country? Or will we become another victim of dollarization like Ecuador, El Salvador and Panama who all have adopted this currency independently dating back as late as 1904? (Dollarization occurs when the inhabitants of a country use foreign currency in parallel to or instead of the domestic currency.)

I just got Shaw digital phone which gives me free long distance and 1000 minutes to call certain other countries including the United States not to long ago and I am thinking about doing some field research and calling random businesses in the states to ask them if they accept canadian cash at all. I will already know the answer (it will be no of course.) But I am just curious to set my own record straight and to see what they think of such a question. Is there anyone interested in playing a part in this project? Does anyone have any recommendations? Maybe some suggestions as to what I should ask these lucky random businesses?

I would honestly like to learn more about this subject, and more about United States in general. Please if you are american, do not take offence to this post, but rather be pro-active and maybe fill me in on why your first questions when it comes time to purchase something is "Is that in American funds?". Or why when in Canada we only have 13 provinces (10 provinces and 3 territories to be exact) and the United States consists of 50 states, we as Canadians know all of them (or close to it) from Alabama to Wyoming, Americans seem to think that Szechwan, Saskatchewan DOES exist in a foreign country? I will be the first one to admit that these problems are also a direct result of our own "Americanization." We are all to blame for submerging ourselves in american culture, current events, and history and forgetting about our own. Ask a canadian who the prime minister is (well..i guess one could not forget now that it is Stephen Harper) and then ask them who the president of the United States is? I think you may be surprised (or not) that a lot of Canadians will know that the president is George Bush and will hesitate to respond as to who is our current Prime Minister. If you were to ask an American who the Canadian Prime Minister is, what would their response be??..( I am not implying anything here, I actually do want to know, maybe it could be another question for my field research.)

Just so you know I am definitely NOT anti-american or any kind of nationist (no nationist is not a word, it is one that minn and I have come up with that means having dislike towards those from another nation). I am just pro-everything else.

I leave you now with Part I of IV ( i think that is 4...whatever.) of Rick Mercers "Talking to Americans." Enjoy.

Ninja Turtle Fiasco Debut

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Ninja Turtle Fiasco.

Can you see the pain and anguish in this picture! It is so powerful. Let me break it down for you. The people in the green represent the ninja turtles. The happy girl to the right is april of course (and in my mind the starlett of the entire show.) You will see myself in the center, quite a bit larger then the rest slightly representing some type of hideous monster and who am I playing? You guessed it. Irma Aprils secretary. What an exhilirating role. Who came up with the rule that just because I had brown hair I had to play irma anyways??! As you can see the boys who are playing the ninja turtles (Riley and Curtis) their names have been crossed out of the image. I am not sure what this represents, but whenever I did art it always had to be "to someone love lisa." No matter what it was. So looks like my mom was the lucky recipient of this fantastic piece. For comparison and clarification purposes I have included a picture of the infamous (er rather not so famous at all Irma). It was also very difficult to find an image of Irma alone! April is a camera hog and is always in the picture as well.

I am going to watch Nascar at the IMAX with my family. More fantastic art coming soon, including some from the notorious stevie nixon.

It says best before not bad after!

My name is Lisa Nixon and I am a moldophobic. ("Hi Lisa.")

So for those of you that know me well enough..(well, actually at all.) You would know me as the type of person who does not eat ANYTHING past it expiry date. Sometimes, I won't eat something if it expires the next day, you know just to be safe.

But I have been thinking. Why on earth do they put a "best before" label? When that only gives a window of opportunity to eat things past their so called "due date". For some the idea of a best before only leaves plenty of opportunity afterwards to enjoy the food, just not at its peak.

My question is, how much longer can you extend a perishable item before it has gone to far? 2 days? 2 weeks? I know that it definately depends on the type of food you are about to devour but is there a hidden date that follows the best before, where it is like the final say not kidding you better throw this away or else kind of deal? Does cutting off mold make everything ok? I am not to sure if the smell and inspect method really works for me either, cuz I kind of figure from personal experience sticking any meat up to my nose just makes me feel ill regardless of how fresh it is. Don't get me wrong, I love meat entirely, but this test method just does not appeal to any of my senses.

I would like to make a general reccomendation to those employed within the food industry. Can you please include a label that says bad after? just for clarification purposes? So that way there is no question. If its in the fridge past the bad after date, there is no eating it.

Apart from these questions and reccomendations surrounding the issue, I would also just like to say that today I am eating sandwich meat that is considered "best before" today. So wish me luck, this is a huge moment in time for me. So far, it doesn't really taste that bad. I will keep you posted.

Ninja Turtle Fiasco Prints

Now I have noticed a rather high demand for some of my peices of younger art, primarily for the so-called "Ninja Turtle Fiasco." Now Rainbow Shadow I noticed your previous comment regarding when these famous prints will go on sale and how much they will be going for. I do have a waiting list set up already and if you would like to be added to such a list please contact me via intergalatic office mail transporter, specifically adressed to "Lisa the Great". These prints are available for 4 million dollars a peice but like I have mentioned previously, they are in EXTREMELY high demand. For an extra mere 2 million you can also have your copy of the ninja turtle fiasco signed by the famous child artist, me, Rainbow Delilah formally known as Lisa the Great.

Now I can understand your anticipation for such a display, and are itching to know when a sample image will be available through the greatest blog ever created. I am happy to announce that these historic artifacts will be in my possesion by tomorrow afternoon. (Friday, June 23rd to be specific.)

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me (once I have metioned PREVIOUSLy) via intergalactic office mail transporter or through the comment section located in the greatest blog ever created.

This is Lisa the great signing off.

P.S. This message is for my mom...uhh hey mom..I know you can't read this because of the black background so you can get steve to read it for you if you like...I'm coming home to visit tomorrow and I need the scrapbook. Love you.

The adventures of Rainbow Shadow and Moonbeam Delilah

So Myself- Moonbeam Delilah and Rainbow Shadow (formerly known as Travitron) Went to the summer solstice festival yesterday evening and boy what an event it was. Rainbow sporting his pirate t-shirt and me sporting a nice purple blanket tassels included took the festival by storm. And by storm I mean tried to mingle amongst the mass of people of a hippie-ish nature only to feel completely secluded as a sudden gap of space created itself around us. Do people really hate us that much? Do we smell? We don't really need THAT much personal space. Maybe it is because they are so terribly jealous about how much of an awesome time we are having that they are just overwhelmed with hatred towards the fun. Or maybe they are just extremely jealous of my new cree dance...we shall find out all in good time in future adventures I am sure. Either way, I Moonbeam, and Rainbow shadow both agree that on the longest day of the year people should be utilizing the extra amount of sun provided for the day by creating inventions that require the extra use of light. Like a Solar powered Rocket ship. But instead people choose to waste it away dancing amongst the brush of Dallas road. Where on earth is the productivity!! Work now play later people!!

On a side note, as the night progressed we migrated over to the Beacon Hill place you get Ice cream. (is that the formal name). And let me tell you, best place in town for ice cream. And i'm not just saying that because they have won the award for the best ice cream for like the last decade, and im also not just saying this because there is one guy working there that has been there for over 50 years, it actually is the best ice cream in town. You should try getting some fries and dipping them into it. Delicious. (Contrary to popular belief, if you do dip your fries in ice cream it is completely normal and no one will stare at you.)

Gotta go to work now, more adventures to plot.

- Moonbeam Delilah.

David Foster Star Search

I want to participate in this competition but in my application I am required to send in a cd demo of myself singing. It can either be an original composition or a cover, but the problem is I don't have any money or anywhere to record, and I have lost the demo cd I recorded at Selkirk a couple of years ago. Does anyone have any suggestions? I have to have it done and mailed by June 30th, I just really want a shot at this and I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions at all are welcome, of course other then the obvious negative ones like "don't bother doing it you can't sing anyways." Because that is something I tell myself enough so I don't need to hear it from anyone else. Thanks :)

Happy Fathers Day

To all the great dads out there, and especially mine, happy fathers day. We are lucky to have you. I love my dad!

On a clear day

So I just got back from a very cute movie. "On a clear day." It was fantastic not only because the movie was great, but also because my friend travis and I were the only two people in the entire theatre. What could be better then having a whole theatre to yourself? It was absolutely incredible. We were however, also 25 minutes early for the film...gotta get a good seat right?What was almost more incredible was the stench of human waste as we exicted the building. bleck people are so gross I had to hold my breath. We wouldn't have exited this way in the first place (we went through the back doors) but we did so because we figured if we hadn't gone to see this film on a sunday night at 9 (it was the last one playing that evening) that the staff would have gone home early. You could kind of tell by the look on their faces they were definatley not expecting us.

After the film and the expedition through the stench we proceeded to part ways when travis kindly offered to drive me to my car. And thank goodness he did because I lost it. I would have been out there until the wee hours of the morning (IN SHORTS!) if it wasn't for travis and his trusty automobile. We had driven around for what seemed like lightyears before we found the poor thing. I was so scared. and embarassed..I mean really ..who loses a car? Oh wait, I have done it once already.

One time back in the day when i worked at the good ol wal mart in nelson, bc, my mom decided to drive me home from work that day. 5 hours later my pops and i decide to take a little drive down to 7-Eleven for some late night slurpies when "Gasp!" My car is not in the driveway. Panic set in. Can you believe I didn't remember that I had driven to work that day and actually left my car down in the wal-mart parking lot???!! It took my mom dad and myself to remember!!!WHO DOES THAT! WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR ME TO LOSE MY CAR. This doesn't happen to normal people..does it?

Anyways, thats the exciting story of my sunday evening. I shall go to sleep now. Excellent times had by all.

Thanks again travis for remaining calm throughout the whole brouhaha (well actually, it wasn't a brouhaha at all I just like the word) if it wasn't for you I would still be walking around aimlessly and pouting about how cold I was, possibly leading to a mental breakdown.

"Things I figured out" - excerpt from

School districts get money for each kid in class per day.
School districts get twice as much money for a kid that attends school 180 days than for one that only attends 90 days. The figure varies widely, but in California public schools, the price is about $40 a day. If you are a student who is considering skipping a day of class, be sure to contact your school administrator and see what kind of incentive he can offer to guarantee your attendance.

When drawing a cartoon, write the words first, then draw a speech balloon around them.
Yeah. Don't draw the balloon first.
Drawing the speech balloon first is like buying a hat without trying it on for size.

Liquid condensing on a cold Coke is from the air.
A cold soda doesn't need a leak to to leave a ring of water on the coffee table. There is invisible gaseous moisture in the air. If you have an ice-cold Coke, the moisture in the air cools down, and turns to liquid water on the side of your can.

Movie theatres get little of the money from movie ticket sales.
People visit theaters to see movies, and a lot of price of the ticket goes directly back to the moviemakers. Less than 10% of the ticket price goes to the theater itself. If theatres weren't selling Coke for $5 a cup, they'd be in trouble.
Not that you should feel sorry for them.

Game controllers are meant to be held gently.
Pushing the buttons harder will not make your character jump higher, run faster, or fight harder, and your thumbs will blister.

Almost all Helium balloons are powered by NUCLEAR REACTIONS.
Helium is a by-product of nuclear electric generation. Why won't Bush let the Iranians make their own Helium Balloons?

Phidippus johnsoni


So the other day my friends Jesse and Jamie came for a visit to Victoria. It was so nice to see you guys! But let me tell you a little story almost unrelated to our daily excursions.

We were at hatley castle yet again. (I know, I am totally in love with this place but I think they have caught on to me because now they charge 8$ to get in!...But of course we snuck in.) Anyways. And I was walking down these stairs and running my hand along the railing when i feel this really gross and furry thing underneath my hand and fall to the ground. So I look closely and what do I see??!


Ok. Seriously, even if you are like the toughest manliest man there is, you would still be grossed out by touching this thing. Funny thing was as I was trying to take pictures of it, I was joking around about how it was probably going to jump up and attack my face or something cuz I was so close. Yeah..Lisa went home to do a little research about her new gross furry friend and what does she find? IT IS A JUMPING SPIDER! They can jump up to 3 ft when attacking their prey! They attack their prey by by scoping them out with their eyes (they are one of the best seeing spiders in the world..and I believe it, look at those ghastly things) and then they pounch on their unsuspecting prey!! EWWWW!

And thats not it. Look at those FANGS!! holy mother! Bites from this spider are known to be very painful, itchy, cause redness and significant swelling. Some of the other symptoms include painful muscles and joins, headache, fever, chills, nausea and vomiting! This spider packs a pretty intense punch. I am so lucky to be alive right now!!! hahaha.

My roomate Michelle Is deathy afraid of these creepy crawlies so please do not make her read this post. Michelle, stop reading. Oh wait, its over... My bad :)


Ok new rule.

as much as i love your comments (i actually have some!!) the new rule is you have to leave your name when you do it. There is to many anonymous people leaving msgs and although I really enjoy deciphering who leaves what...(minn..haha) , and the concept of anonymity which I follow throughout my daily life, it is not accepted here in my little blogosphere. (and yes blogosphere is a word in the dictionary. it became official in 1997...I wish I could have invented it.)

Ok kidlets. I hope we all understand :)

P.S. And don't try to use the excuse that you wish to remain anonymous because you wish to Have no distinctive character or recognition factor and belong to "a very great, almost anonymous center of people who just want peace." cuz I'm not buying it.

P.P.S. Oh and just for the record, my hoodie no longer smells like dirt because I washed it 6 times. - This message goes out to ms. not so anonymous -The stench has finally subsided. Getting sprayed with Dirt perfume (seriously. it exsists, and I have never seen a perfume that matched its name so perfectly) Is not one of my proudest, or happiest moments of my life but I am willing to forgive..but I will definatley never forget :P haha. What are friends for hey?

Scrapbook Invasion

So it's 2am and i just finished watching the MTV Movie awards (did i mention michelle my roomie is an expert show taper? It is an art really.) and I just thought of the most excellent idea.

Since I am so interested in my younger self and lookin back on the good ol times (I mean what can I say I was a fabulous kid, an angel really and I know both my parents would back me up on this..right guys?) I decided I am going to scan some real pieces of art to put up on my site. And these are REAL genuine valuable peices of my first works as a child. Absolutely brilliant. They display such passion and raw emotion. Vivid memories from a 5 year olds mind. One of my favorites being the Ninja Turtle rejection fiasco. That moment changed my life forever. Get ready folks for this priceless collection created by a child prodigy (haha I'm sooo modest) it's unveiling will change the world as we know it.

A special thanks to my mom and dad for holding on to such a fasinating and timeless collection. Without your support this showcase would not be possible.

Hey mom, where is the scrapbook? LOVE YOU!

Riddle me this.....

How many michelle collectors are there?


ok. so here is the re-invent. I am still looking for a better font and such..but i am tired of sorting through code that i can still hardly understand so here it is for now. Other then the fact that you can hardly read it, what do you think? Kind of retro 80s inspired and i am a fan of tacky. so expect to see lots of really gross yellows and pinks all over this unit. youre going to love it because well. you love me.

love is all around us.

can someone please tell me why some of my headings are green? they should all be PINK. PINK PINK PINK!! help me...(minn??)

Conversation Piece

"The Tale of Epic Porportions - condensed version"

I thought I would wait just long enough and a day until i revealed my epic tale. Alas, here it is.

So I have left the comfort of my parents home to move into the "city." My apartment is a 2 bdrm newly renovated (with tile floors!) and I am sharing this lovely little package with my roomate michelle who has already been previously introduced. I have been here just over a month now and I love it. Other then the fact that we have on numerous occasions flooded out the unit below us and have been visted by the plumber a few times, I think the problem is cleared up now, leaky pipe or something? It has a pool , sauna and gym which I have visited a few times but hopefully I will frequent it more often now that I have REAL DAYS OFF!! I haven't had 2 days off in a row since easter so I am definately enjoying it...but at the same time i also get bored rather quickly.

I have yet another new job at the museum. I have taken a leave of absence from Old Navy and now work strictly at my two jobs at the museum. For stalker-ish purposes (i get my insecurities of disclosing personal information via the internet from minn..thanks a lot.) I am not going to at this time disclose exactly what the positions that I hold at the museum are, but those of you that are close enough to know me at all will know what these positions entail. nuff said. My new job is exciting and more rewarding then others I have had in the past, but I am also finding it quite challenging, but also includes a substantially higher wage then previous positions so I'm sure I can tough it out. Now that I work under the government umbrella I am hoping this is just the beggining to something even greater, but all in good time.

My friends Minn and Kelly (shes probably going to kill me for saying her name twice..for stalker-ish reasons once again..haha sorry you gotta love me anyways). just came to visit me and it was so nice to see them. We had an awesome time, best place we went was Hatley Castle and it is SO BEAUTIFUL!! Victoria has 2 castles still standing Craighdarroch and Hatley, and they were both owned by the Dunsmir Family. Hatley Castle was built in 1908 for James Dunsmuir who was a coal and rail baron (like his father) who also served as athe Premier and Lieutenant Governor of British Columbia. Hatley Castle is also home to Royal Roads University and resides on 565 acers of gardens and forest, and serves as a bird sanctuary as well. (can anyone find the peacocks? Its probably just a tape they play...)I

Ishiburo Kishida, the individual who designed the Japanese Gardens at Hatley Park, was also responsible for the beautiful Japanese Gardens at the world renowned Butcharts Gardens. During the Dunsmir era this vast garden was operated by over 100 gardeners round the clock. Could you imagine how much it would cost just to keep your backyard looking like that? exhausting! Within Hatley Park you will also find some of the largest and oldest trees in BC. One of them is well over 6 feet wide!!

Ok enough with the history detour, were back on track. Anyways, I really do reccomend going to Hatley Park even just to see the gardens. They are free and did I mention they are beautiful?

It was sad to see my friends go, but I had been working the whole time they came to visit and I was exhausted and probably wasn't the funnest for them *sorry guys*.

I just bought some new rollerblades. They are a bit of an eye sore, kind of looks like I am ready to go onto Gladiators or something, just need to get some spandex. But apparantly they are going to "blow my mind" with the difference in speed and control compared to my last pair... so we shall see how that goes.

Today I went for a little tour of Mt.Douglas. What a gorgeous place with a gorgeous view, I will definatley be spending more time there I hope. Just in case you dont believe me about the view, here is a pic to prove it.

Well that is about it for the condensed version of my tale of epic porportions for now. To some of you this may come as a dissapointment because I know you have gone through quite the withdrawl from not reading a post in a while..I know its hard. But I am back with full force so brace yourselves. This is Lisa signing off.

Umm..ok signed off?..what do you say after you said you are signing you just leave..or do you say like Thank you? or do you apologize for leaving?..hmm...

tale of epic porportions coming soon to a blog near you

please see title.

lisa the brilliant.


We, The people of the future, like the twenty thousand generations who came before us, have the right to breathe air that smells sweet, to drink water that runs pure and free, to swim in waters that teem with life, and to grow our food in rich, living earth.

We have the right to inherit a world unsullied by toxic chemicals, nuclear waste, or genetic pollution. We have the right to walk in untamed nature and to feel the awe that comes when w suddenly lock eyes with a wild beast.

We beseech you, the people of today: do not leave your dirty messse for us to clean up; do not take technological risks, however small, that may backfire catastrophically in times to come. Just as we respectfully ask that you not burden us with your deferred debts and deplete pension plans, we also claim our right to a share of the palent's ecological wealth. Please don't use it all up.

WE, in turn, promise to do the same. We grant these same rights and privileges to the generations who will live after us; we do so in the sacred hope that the human spirit will live forever.

A curse on any generation who ignores this plea.

- Adbusters Summer 2005

I'll love you till my veins explode

-photo by julie the magnificent

For those of you who don't already know, the title of my blog today is a line taken from one of the greatest bands of our time.

"somewhere between 11.2 to 20 billion years ago all matter in the universe was created in what scientists refer to as the big bang. The paper cranes are composed primarily of this material."
- the paper cranes

Victoria, BC brings to you this brilliant little musical pacakge. I am not even going to bother reviewing their album here, because it is just a waste of your time and takes away potential precious seconds of pure musical bliss. Go to their website NOW and listen to their music. stop reading this blog and do it.>The Paper Cranes <--- official website <--- myspace/audio traxxx

I beat the Philosopher Kings at pool

Ok...well I didn't actually beat them at pool at all. But I DID beat them..or at least the lead singer and the drummer at a Big 2. Michelle will probably try to tell you I was cheating, but in my mind i was playing fair. So it was quite the interesting wednesday night. I know right, who goes out on a Wednesday night. Well I will tell you who does! Me, Michelle, Julie, Marin and THE PHIOLOSOPHER KINGS DO!! heck yes i said the philosopher kings. We got michelle to walk up to Gerold the lead singer to ask if he was Jarvis Church. (just alittle bit of history for you folks who may not be up to date with the name game here...Gerold had also released a solo project under the name Jarvis Church and we didn't know what his real name was..) Of course he was, so the rest of us chickens joined her. (thanks michelle for doin that by the way..we can always count on you to do random stuff, you are the only one with any guts). Anyways they turned out to be a pretty decent bunch of guys...married..some more then others trying to get a wee bit to close then we ended up staying at the sticky wicket until 2am and headed off to their tour bus. To set the record straight.. I have never been a huge fan, or a fan at all for that matter of the philosopher kings. But if it was a Wednesday night in downtown victoria and they were the only other people in the pub you would probably hang with them to right? Lol wel I watched the soccer game on the tele for most of the time in the bar besides playin some pool here and there, but it was overall a pretty decent time none the less. But the adventure in the tour bus continued. Let me just say they have horrific taste in music. Bleck. Michelle on the other hand had a scenerio all her own to deal with that night. This totally creepy..lets just call him "tour bus groupie with long gross dirty hair" for lack of a better title would not stop hitting on her. So I did what any good friend would do and started a "pretend" fight with michelle that actually later ended in her slapping me in the face (I know had to be realistic but did ya have to take it that far?) So that basically ended the adventure for us and we took another 12.50 dollar cab ride home. And just if this post wasn't already exciting enough you can also be sure to ch-ch-ch-check back tomorrow for pictures of this fantastic evening as well! SHOCKER! I know it is exciting but try not to lose to much sleep over it.

Goodnight Kiddies

ba ba rainbow sheep have you any wool? no joseph I told you already, no technicolor coat supplies here.

The London Times reports that a school in the UK changed the words of the old Black Sheep nursery rhyme to "baa baa rainbow sheep" as part of an effort to improve equal opportunities for its students.

They must be completely insane. If rainbow sheep are considered the new Politically Correct, maybe that is why brokeback mountain didn't end up winning at the Oscars. You idiots, you didn't have any rainbow sheep. what the hell were you thinking? It would have gone with the theme quite well. I hope everyone here still on planet earth sees this as completely ridiculous. Comon people, the sheep are already embarassed enough as it is. You don't have to go and take all of their pride away and make them the new gay pride icon.

My version of the soon to be officially released PC version of this classic goes as follows:

- Baa Baa Afro-Carribean sheep have you any nylon?
Yes sir yes sir 3 boxes full.
One for the Local MP and One for the Woman of Equal Opportunites
And one for the Minor who lives down the lane.

Whats next anyways? Three little pigs renamed three height challenged porkers?Snow White and the seven dwarfs changed to Snow White and the 7 height challenged miners?

And my favorite Mary Possessed a diminutive creature of genus ovis:

- Mary possessed a diminutive creature of genus ovis.
The filament epidermal covering of which reflected light of all wavelengths equally.

And in each set of coordinates in which Mary would happen to be found in the course of normal diurnal activites, the aforementioned ovine creature would certainly be colocated.

It accompanied her to the institution for the education of children during one diurnal cycle
which action was counter to acceptable decorum.
The juveniles in attendance became risible and commenced recreational activity because of the sight of such an ovine creature at the institution for the education of children.

Maybe if they put in half as much effort into being politically correct as they do to being moral then maybe the world would be a better place. I saw the other day on Much Music the "WHO TO DO LIST: 20 sexiest girls". Like are you kidding me?? why don't you just call it "Attention children: you aren't considered pretty unless someone wants to have sex with you. If you do not want to sleep with any of the women pictured here today, you are either a. gay or b. have bad taste. " like so gross. Don't even get me started on this right now, I could go on forever.

Well I guess that is all for now on this random rant. Maybe i will rewrite it better later but im tired and really wanted to get it up tonight because I have been thinking about stupid nursery rhymes all day long so thought this would at least get it out of my system.

If no one is going to have that green or blue lamb chop, can I have it?????

driving around with good friends is totally distracting..and can cause you to "miss" the turn off to the street you actually happen to be driving on..

Ok. So I was driving around town with my good friend Michelle the other night (also my future roomate-to-be) and we had just finished watching an amazing dance show at UVIC called "Keep ya head up". It was awesome and it makes me feel like I have "candy in my heels tonight baby!" haha..ok anyways.

So we were driving around and somehow I kept getting lost. I kind of have this theory that if you drive in a straight line eventually you will get to where you want to Edmonton this would work quite well...Victoria not so much. And Michelle is absolutely no help at all (sorry hun..its the truth) cuz she just sits there and laughs at me!! and then i laugh!! and then..we get lost and pull u-turns and drive on curbs and all these things I never do! you are such a bad influence. Anyways so we decided we both had headaches and the only cure was ice cream. So after our first attempt at a Mcdonalds drive thru she told us the ice cream machine was out of order. I know..horrific. So finally we found one..only like 5 min away cuz you know how close together they are these days. So we are in line and the girl working there thinks we are TOTALLY insane...and I notice something random hanging out of the back of the SUVS trunk in front of us...and you would not believe what it was.... A DIRTY DIAPER! I mean how totally random! how does that even happen!! IT was so gross. bleck. So by this point we were both basically histerical and i did some more "driving". As I tried to make my way back to Michelles place I was tryin to get back on to Quadra street and I was freaking out cuz i had no idea where we were and I couldnt figure out why Michelle wouldnt help me!!!! Turns out..we were already on Quadra street the whole time...yeah I'm THAT awesome. So I turned into a party pooper and went home to get my well deserved 8 hours of sleep (michelle calling me to beg me to come out when i was already half way home..good effort tho.) Anyways after you read this post you might think "what a waste of time" It was partly one of those you had to be there moments and partly its just that we are far to awesome for the likes of you so its not going to seem even a tiny bit funny. Anyways i have tennis elbow now (even though I haven't played tennis since like last summer..but I can feel it coming back. Im going to bed.


We interrupt this broadcast with an important public service announcement...

Ok, so I didn't write Part II of the Tofino Trip when I said I was going to. So sue me. Who knows when I will write the next part?? Looks like you are just going to have to keep checking back..Its a mystery! To bad its not tonight! HAHAHAAHA. gosh im hilarious. Ok, this is some delicious material though, almost as good as Part II of the Tofino extravaganza, (Thanks to my lovely friend Minn for her contribution and her internet surfing skillz.) Enjoy.

A list of pet peeves and other aggravating situations...:

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...
---> I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do you see me pointing at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the television remote because they refuse to walk to the television and change the channel manually.

When people say.."Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it to!"
---> Well of course I do! What good is a bloody cake if you can't eat it?

When people say "Its always the last place you look."
---> Of course it is you imbecile. Why the hell would you keep looking for something you have already found?

When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?"
---> No you idiot. I just pay $12.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the freakin floor.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
---> Certainly giving me a choice on that one aren't ya sunshine?

When something is "New and Improved" Which is it?
---> If it is new, there has never been anything before it. If it is an improvement, then there must have been an even crappier version prior.

When people say "life is short."
---> What the hell? Life is the longest friggin thing anyone ever does!! What on earth can you do that is longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone walks up to you and asks "Has the bus come yet?"
---> Well clearly, if the bus had come already I wouldn't still be standing here.

If any of you fans out there ( oh yes..I know you are out there....aren't you..? anyone??) If you also have any clever material and ridiculous questions/situations such as these PLEASE for the love of ME send them!! I eat this stuff right up like sugar. Ok..maybe not STRAIGHT sugar, more like sugar coated with sprinkles

The long awaited, slighty belated, extremely overrated, story of Tofino trip 2006 ----> PART I

Ok...I know I promised this waaaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier, but I thought if I made "ya'll" wait long enough, it would be that much better. Ok, thats a total lie. It's actually because I don't think any of you can handle all of the fun I have to talk about that we managed to stuff into one weekend. Ok..Lie #2...its really just because I have been slightly lazy and lacking on the motivation to write such an tale of EPIC porportions. But, none the less, here it goes. (oh yeah, and this story is going to be cut into three peices so I don't get carple tunnel, and for the safety and well being of the world. Or..the country..the province? 3 people that read this, but I can dream right?) ALRIGHT ALREADY. I can hear you yelling at me to get on with it, thats not very nice you know...WHAT?? TURN DOWN THE SUCK? ha. yeah right, i think im about to crank it up a couple hundered notches, brace yourself kiddies.

So the weekend started just like any other. Being 2 and a half hours behind schedule. Yup...just another normal day in the life of me. It could have been because we were out until approximaltey 3am the morning prior, spending a big night out in Victoria only to be followed by a start time of 7:30 am, but we will never really know. (4 hours of sleep is TOTALLY sufficient don't you think?)

Before I go any further there are 2 bens in this story. For simplicitys sake we will call Ben #1 Bengj and Ben # 2 offence boys, but its all I could think up.

Sooo, Bengj, Bmock, Minn, Alex and myself started out our journey to the wonderful land of Tofino. Alex had an awesome idea of stopping over in good ol' Coombs, which I like to call "the land of opportunity..and goats on the roof.". 80% of the car was feeling pretty hungover from the adventures of the night before, so we figured we could use a break and a bite to eat. Well...being the middle of winter here (I know, its easy for one to forget which season it is here on the island) almost every store in Coombs was closed. And we were all so totally let down by the goat-less grass-less roof of the promised land, that we decided to drag our butts into the only store the whole town. It was a story of many fine 'a thing. It had beads..and incense...and a harmless, slightly creepy old man. I walked around the corner (and by corner i mean 2 steps away because this store was almost as small as my closet) I noticed a very interesting artifact lying on the ground. Yes, it was in fact, a raw wiener. A hot dog. lying there on the ground completely untouched and unscathed. Now does this seem a bit random to you? I'm just not sure if it is completly normal for people to "forget" and leave hot dogs lying around, but maybe I am the one out of the loop. So of course I asked Minn to remember what I told her about leaving her raw wieners lying around, we mustered up a few tiny painful laughs and headed out. The store owner did not seem to find my joke quite so humourous, as I am sure none of my friends did either but they are at least trained to laugh.

We countined on down the road and came upon the only restaurant open in town. ( I actually think it might be the ONLY restaurant in town....regardless of the season.) And it is so appropriatley named "Coombs Family Restaurant." perfect. So we headed in and all ordered the lunch special of the day "Grilled Cheese and Split Pea Soup." Sounds harmless. Alex being a vegitarian and Minn not in the mood for meat, proceeded to ask the waitress if there was any meat products in the soup. We were pleasently informed that it was a vegitarian/tomato base with vegtables. (now that I look back, this sounds nothing like split pea soup at all. sounds more like veggie soup...) Our drinks came around and I'm sure we were all a bit more excited then normal to be drinking something other then an alcoholic beverage, so we all downed them pretty fast. All of us, except for Alex. She was the lucky winner to recieve a huge clump of scotch tape in her iced tea. The waitress didn't even seem somewhat suprised about this find. I know, tasty right? You would think that would make us get up and leave, but we decided to endure.

After downing our drinks at light speed, it was time to use the washroom....except when you went to wash your hands, the handle was COMPLETELY broken off. The first thought that came to my mind was "DOES ANYONE IN HERE HAVE CLEAN HANDS? IM GOING TO GET H5N1." I spent about 5 minutes trying to get whatever water i could catch from the dribble of water leaking out of the side of the tap to sanitize my hands. Each person one by one returing from the washroom with the same petrified look on their face, but we endured.

Finally our food came. And you guessed it. The split pea soup had huge chunks of H-A-M in it. I Know NOW that thats basically what split pea soup is, but we aren't soup experts!! The waitress once again didn't seem suprised by her misinformation at all....and minn ended up eating her 1 tiny peice of garlic bread and alex her grilled cheese (the rest of us had pretty decent i guess we were lucky there) we left no tip and took off.

- stay tuned for part II of III airing tomorrow..March 07/2006 sometime after I get off work and get home from photography class...

visit <------ absolutely brilliant. almost more so then myself. (is that even possible?)

They say the world would be a boring place if everyone was exactly the same. Yet when I think of how interesting and what a pleasure I am to be around, I can't help but realize that a world full of me's would be absolutely brilliant.

- anonymous


here i am!

Accepting Applications - this is not a joke

Ok...this is it. Another one of those "laying it all out on the table" deals. So..heads up.

Since I have been writing a lot lately about what other people have, what I do not have, What I don't like in general..I'm going to change it up here. So here it goes with what I DO want. Who knows how it will work out, I sure don't.

Anyways this will be (hopefully) the one and only time I say this....ever..sooo listen up.

I want a boy friend. Or a boyfriend. It doesn't matter. I used to have a lot of guy friends growing up and I really miss the simplicity. Not that girls aren't spectacular ( I mean comon I'm one of them so we are obviously perfect.) Buuuut..I miss it none the less. I have found as of late that I have been drastically lowering my standards and have been completely shocked by the results. Now for clarification purposes, when I refer to "standards" I simply mean what I find attractive in a persons CHARACTER. Lately I have been going for guys that In my mind are the worst possible choice (i.e lacking some major social skills) and you know what I have found? They are even MORE picky when it comes to looks then the vainest drop dead gorgeous guys out there. Ha, and I thought they were single because they lacked character. Turns out they are waiting for their Swimsuit model gf they developed through some computer program to pop out of the screen. Reality check boys. Get a grip. So what I am looking for are as follows:

I want a guy that has a passion for SOMETHING. I don't care what it is. From Basketball to lawn bowling, Guitars to flutes, drawing to writing, excavating to unclogging really doesnt matter. What is important is that you posses something in your mind that focuses on things other then just "hanging out and partying and smokin bluntz and girls...etc." these things are not hobbies, they are merely ways for bland people to waste their lives away. Don't get me wrong, going out and having a good time is definitely important, but it is not something that we need to dedicate our lives to. That spiel is so old, so don't even get me started.

Secondly. Yes it is possible to be friends with the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. I think that one basically explains itself so why don't you give it a shot. I mean you aren't friends with your guy friends because you find them good looking....or are you?

Sense of humor is a bit important, but what is more important is that you laugh at my jokes whether you think it’s funny or not. It’s really not that hard, just like this. Ha...ha...ha? right. next

Honesty and integrity are two really important things to me. I think all solid friendships and relationships are both built on a foundation of trust. If you really gave me a chance and took the time to get to know me, you would find a girl who though appears shy at first (though not for long..its more like a nanosecond) is bursting with energy, passion for life and learning, and so much love for my family and friends its almost incomprehensible.

I love to laugh (most of the time it is at myself). I love everything music related. I enjoy playing the piano and trumpet but my musical passion is singing. I also enjoy Graphic Design, photography, movies, tennis, biking, camping, concerts, the ocean, the rockies and a plethora of other things. (wow..this is really starting to sound like a want ad isn't it. oh well, I'll roll with it.)

I really haven't asked for a lot here. With all my heart I just want to meet a guy I can get along with and laugh with. Seems like these days I could be asking far to much. Am I really all that bad? What is it, am I scary? I can tone the scare factor down a bit if you like. Do any of you exist? Or is this just completely a lost cause? Maybe I need to learn a skill some people refer to as "flirting". I like to call it cheese, but hey if that’s what it takes then I am down. Lessons anyone? Any flirting masters out there? Here I come Dr.Phil (he seems pretty fly).

Oh wow. I scare myself sometimes. This is a pretty ridiculous post, please don't laugh to much (just for the record this isn't one of my jokes so don't worry about laughing this time, I'll let you know when you can.)

That's it for the night. Have fun reading my chapter book. Congratulations if you made it this far without leaving.


Hello once again. I have been noticing lately along with the abundance of rain we have been recieving, the plethera of different ways numerous weather channels have come up with to try to make it seem like the weather is changing when really we all know...its just rain. Here are a few of my favorites:

Cloudy with periods of light rain
Cloudy. Some rain is likely
Rain likely
Rain early...then remaining cloudy with showers late Chance of rain 80%. (ok...does not mean it is basically just going to rain all day???....)
Chance of showers
Windy with periods of rain
Windy. Rain very likely
Mainly couldy and rainy
Chance of showers.

The common denominator in every single one of these weather descriptions? They all have a 80% chance of percipitation. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!

My question is...isn't it quite easy to assume that if it is raining there WILL be clouds? I'm pretty sure that when I am walking down the street on the 26th day of consecutive non stop rain I am not very likely to say "wow, it has been quite windy today with periods of rain." No. I'm most likely to say "Oh what, its raining? huh, I didn't notice. Must be because I am soaked to the bone and have been for the last 26 days so I kind of just blend in with the weather." Why can't they just say. "Rain for the next 30 days." and just have it covered. We could all have the next 30 days written off, it would be so simple!

Does anyone else have different ways they have heard to say it is raining? If you do I would like to add it to my post so let me know!

Nations Snowmen March Against Global Warming
definatley worth reading..this is hilarious

Off the record - what i really want

Hello everyone. Brace yourself, this one is going to be a bit heavy.

I have decided to half apologize for the way that I act on some of my posts. Please understand that I do not mean most of what I say, and if I do its only a tiny little feeling inside me that forces its way out into a big overdramatic sarcastic and completely cynical rant. Some of you...if you know me or not, are getting the wrong impression because of the way I write. I talk the way I do in here because in the real world I could NEVER do or say these things in real life. I am to honest and to good natured of a person to even consider it. I have started to treat this site (mostly because I feel like no one reads it anyhow) that it is my own personal private journal that I can write and feel whatever I want wether I mean it or not...Apparantly that is not the case.

If you must know...heres the truth right out there on the table. I am not so happy these days, and I honestly could not tell you why. I have the best family a girl could ask for, a gorgeous rent free place to live (haha..for now until my parents cant put up with my messy chaotic ways any longer), awesome friends (you know who you are), so one could interpret my bad attitude into thinking I am acting like a spoiled brat. I am spoiled and I can be a brat a times, but it does not affect how I feel on the inside. At this point I really don't know what the key to my happiness is, and If I did I would change it in an instant.....but I just want you all to know that I am working on it.

In regards to my last post (just for the record) I do not actually feel hatred towards those of a skinnier wasteline. I merely feel frustrated the way a select few of the female population go to such great lengths to utilize this asset in any way that they can. And you know what, they should because they have probably worked harder then most of us know to get there. I feel even more frustrated that the majority of the male population will fall for it...more then once. And we all know that this whole thing can be taken vice versa as well. But you know what? the world keeps on turning. (well not for long with all the talk of the H5N1 virus that is soon to destroy 20% of the worlds population in a matter of days but that is another story all together...don't tell anyone but I am actually a tiny bit worried about it all).

So thats me for now In a nutshell. I am just a 21 year old single girl who has no idea what she is going to do next in life. And I guess that is the exciting part. I have the choice now to do whatever I want, and its up to me to change the things in my life that I am not satisfied with. So....I will keep you all posted on my progress. Have a good night. Love you all.


wanted - fat sucking machine

does anyone have a fat sucking machine that i can borrow to suck every inch of fat off of my body and put it towards something useful like a giant body pillow (no pun intended.) Because all I want to be is a skinny manipulative bitch so I can play with boys feelings and take all of their money and leave them nothing but an empty soul in return. So if anyone has one of these machines and is willing to lend it out (I dont have a whole lot of money at the moment, maybe we can do a trade off I have a time machine in pretty good working condition here) please let me know asap.

I am so furious I could scream. I think i will scream.

Caucasian Achievement Awards

ok. This has gone to far for my liking.

I am all about eqaulity and respect for diversity and all cultures and everything..but why does everyone feel the need to places themselves apart??? Take the "Aboriginal Achievement Awards" for example. What is it that an Aboriginal can achieve that I cannot? (and vice versa.)
If I even mentioned the thought of creating a Caucasian Achievement awards I would certainly get my behind kicked along with who knows what other forms of beating?!??

In a society that is so focused on eqaulity why do we have shows like "Black Entertainment Television"? I mean do you really have to flaunt the fact that black men and women tend to superceed the rest of us at most sports and entertainment, so much in fact that an whole television program needs to be devoted to it?

Why are there entire DAYS AND PARADES dedicated to being a homosexual?? I think its great and all for you to show your love for eachother it is a beautiful and precious thing, but is a overly publicized parade, day, or even weekend necessary to do so??

Where is the White Entertainment Television and the Straight Pride Parade that I so deserve?

p.s. do not be offended by this post, it has no bearing on what I truley believe. I am just unfourtunately inhabited by a very cynical sense of humor that I cannot control. (If you haven't noticed.....)