DRIVERS BEWARE!

Watch out all you environmentally friendly vehicledrivers. The proposed “green license plates” to appear on your energy efficient methods of transportation by Spring 2008 may provide you with more grief (and humiliation) than good. The green plates which promise benefits such as free parking and use of carpool lanes may not have the same affect when you cross the US Border. As it was release previously in the media about a month ago (Ok so I am a little behind the times) the United States Government has proposed a little “green scheme” of its own. But it is no means an environmental pat on the back for the average granola cruncher, but rather a way for U.S. Residents to single out their convicted sex offenders.


What an incredible idea. The easiest color on the eye, globally known to signify “GO” plastered on the vehicle of your friendly neighbourhood pedophile. The color of nature, symbolizing growth, harmony and freshness. The color known to have incredible healing power, often used in hospitals and waiting rooms formally know as “green rooms” because of its ability to put people at ease.

I can just see the reaction now. “Awww, look honey, a pedophile.” I mean common. If you really wanted to get someone’s attention for something of this nature, wouldn’t you want to use, oh I don’t know…RED??? Don’t you want to say something like “STOP I AM A SEX OFFENDER DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200?” Wouldn’t you prefer to catch someone’s attention and “Alert” them, rather then everyone just sort of passively noticing and all of a sudden feeling strangely overcome with relaxation and serenity? I think this is kind of an oxymoron in a sense.

Not to mention the fact that now Canada will be forced to rethink their actually fairly good idea of encouraging people to go green.


I have an idea. Make the sex offenders just paint their entire cars pink. And write “sex offender” across the hood. That should do it, and won’t cause any confusion. Or better yet, just make them take the bus where they will be surrounded with a bunch of little children as they no longer wish to risk driving altogether. Less people on the road, and more cases of offences by sexual predators.


(please notice the minor hint of sarcasm, as I risk being seriously misunderstood if last statement was thought to be of true intention.)