public uriNATION

NOTE: Title of this post to be read public uriNATION as my formatting makes the titles all CAPS it takes away from my tremendously witty sense of humour and I must keep that intact at all times. Thank you.

As I was walking downtown with my mom a while back, checking out the heart of Victoria and Chinatown we came across this....eccentric...apartment building. It was so interesting I had to take a picture. At first I thought it was rather comical the sign reading "Please stop peeing here people live here." But then I later realized such a note was rather ironic, and I believe the irony is what makes this image so beautiful. People merely trying to protect what is rightfully theirs with another form of not as smelly vandalization, graffitti. Is writing on the wall of your home with permanent marker really the solution to this situation? To be honest, if I were to ever see this wall while intoxicated, which most of my friends would vouch for rarely ever happens these days, I would most definatley see this message not as a warning, but as an outrageously vibrant neon green light for public urination. And if I was as intoxicated as most of these people are who are even considering peeing on another humans not-so-welcome mat I probably wouldn't even be able to read the message, let alone see it in the first place.

It Is unfourtunate that Victoria has taken the Sex Appeal approach with their new tourism recruiting ad campagin of advertising the city of Victoria as "the perfect orgasm." (this is totally another story we will have to address some other time.) Maybe if we advertised things like this ideal apartment location (not to mention whos rental suites are upwards of 700/ month) along with the amount of people we have living on the street in any given summer it would open doors to a whole new realm of tourism. aka, the forigners have vanished. I admit that the city of Victoria has become intolerably out of hand (although you would never be able to guess with the beautifully kept hanging flower baskets), I believe there are more practical ways of solving problems like human excretion in unappropriate places as in this particular example, on the door step of someones no longer humble abode. The City of Victoria HAS purposed earlier in the year a solution to public urination, consisting of space age porta-potties popping up from the ground in the middle of Centennial Square. Do we really want to spend thousands and thousands of tax payers dollars on such a total waste of time? Am I the only person who forsees the total demise of such an invention? Silver metal tubes arising from the ground to inebriated human beings is just something else to vandalize, and in this case. to piss on, not in. But maybe since they have taken our bowling alley away, it will be something for us to enjoy. I can't wait for my night out of "raise the mysterious tubular time machine."

I think a far more practical and appropriate solution is to of course not only raise the amount of police people in the downtown core, which is something most Victorian's would tell you is a long drawn out debate, but also to rid Victoria of useless COPS who rather then doing their job of enforcing the law, spend their time harassing and abusing the homeless, handing out warnings to innocent people with their fog lamps on, or pulling over 16 year old boys without a license just to tell them how they used to "smoke blunts and drink at their age". No wonder our city smells like piss.

Just remember next time you are walking downtown and you smell a rather irritating odour, think twice when the "gardner" tending to the flowers tells you its just "potent soil". You could very well be stumbling across something of a more........human nature.