I am totally copying this idea from a friend, but i think the results are potentially, catasrophically accurate? (at least for my experience.)
The idea is...to type "your name, needs" into google and see what comes up for you. I was thinking earlier today how creepy cool it was that my breathe tattoo is searchable on google images (I fear it is as famous as I will ever get) and this inspirsed me to follow in the footsteps of others and see what this little experiment reveals for me. Here are a few at the top of the list:
1. Lisa needs braces
2. Lisa needs to get a life OMG I WAS KIDDING WHEN I TITLED THIS POST LISA NEEDS TO GET A LIFE. oh the irony.
3. Lisa needs a tree
4. Lisa needs a home
5. Lisa needs a new concealer
6. Lisa needs wooden spatculas? (plural...really one isn't enough?)
7. Lisa needs help!
8. Lisa needs to get away from family
9. Lisa needs a bigger grin and a lot more warmth
10. Lisa needs......... you.
Speechless is needy Lisa.
Single on Valentines is shit?
So I have this thing called blogpatrol that tells me where people are referencing my blog from. It is usually empty, as it hardly gets any traffic other then my mom (who can't even read it) but I'm ok with that. But yesterday, I see that someone has stumbled across my blog by typing in "Single on Valentins is shit." I don't understand how this could be possible, so I have to see for myself, and there is my blog in all its glory, the first site to come up on google. Now don't get me wrong, I was stoked to see I was actually googable for the first time in my life (yay) (well actually second, you used tobe able to type breath tattoo into google images and it would show up first but all of a sudden i dissapeared and lindsay lohan was all over the place...weird..not like I check or anything.) Anyways, What I am trying to say is, I have never said Single on Valentines is shit. I have no idea how google managed to associate those particular keywords with my blog, perhaps it can read my mind? I wouldn't say being single on valentines is shitty, I have written in the past at actually how positive an experience it can be (sweatpants at home with junkfood and sappy movies, or even sweatpants out in public if you are adventuruous.) So I remain perplexed but sickly charmed.
Because I am enviro friendly I like to recycle, and because I like to recycle I will post my old valentines day spiffs for you to enjoy. (yeah right. It's cuz I'm lazy and can't think of anything witty or charming to write this year.)
On that note, Happy Saturday y'all. Go out and get your VD on.
(For those of you to whom I sent this out as a link, I apologize. I am not skilled enough in the facebook world to figure out how to simply send you an image. Please accept this as your valentines card, if you managed to make it to the end of this post without going what the f*%&, congrats.)
It always comes back to you...
Why did you have to set the bar so high?
I expect too much from people because of you.
It always has to come back to you, and you don't even realize it.
Even if I were to tell you to your face, you still wouldn't get it.
You are a gift to each life you touch. I hope one day you will see your full potential.
My mind holds on to so many memories. I wish I would have known in the simplicity of those moments,what it would mean to me now. Maybe I would have warned myself not to keep a place in my heart for you. Perhaps there would be room for someone else.
I expect too much from people because of you.
It always has to come back to you, and you don't even realize it.
Even if I were to tell you to your face, you still wouldn't get it.
You are a gift to each life you touch. I hope one day you will see your full potential.
My mind holds on to so many memories. I wish I would have known in the simplicity of those moments,what it would mean to me now. Maybe I would have warned myself not to keep a place in my heart for you. Perhaps there would be room for someone else.
OUCH, MY MOST OF ME.
So this is a rather personal and embarrassing topic to be writing about, but I believe that other women can learn from my mistakes. I have been commercially persuaded to purchase a product that did not to what it originally is intended for. Let this be a reminder that people in commercials are paid to pretend to enjoy a product.
Cut to woman in shower – using a hair removal product on her legs which appear to already be stubble free. Why would she be doing that anyway is my question. That should have been seen as a warning sign to not proceed.
I, being the product persuaded person that I am went out and bought this amazing time saver dealy. Oh the simplicity of not having to shave your legs, but simply apply a cream that will make it all disappear while you shower, oh the bliss. (Oh the nightmare.)
I applied said cream to my legs ignoring the warning that clearly states to “test product on small area of skin and wait 24 hours. If irritation occurs, do not use this product.” Pfft yeah right, who has time for that. I have hairy legs now and I want to get rid of it now, not 24 hours from now.
I figured that the tingling turning to stinging sensation was to be expected and continued on with the normal routine. Suddenly my routine turns pain induced panic and I wipe the crap off my legs as fast as humanly possible (also ignoring the warnings to NOT SCRUB the area. I didn’t want any trace of this crap left on my body.)
I step out of the shower and pat my legs dry, like I was told, hoping the worst was over. It wasn’t.
I now have a swollen painful rash all over my legs, resembling that of a lobstery skin feels like it is on fire. I am wearing a skirt and leggings. Everyone tells me I look great, but little do they know it’s the only thing I can wear that doesn’t cause a severe burning sensation to my calves.
Thank god I didn’t use this anywhere else on my body, I fear the pain would be too much to tolerate.
LESSON FOR TODAY: There is no easy way out. Take the 5 minutes to shave your damn legs moron.
Cut to woman in shower – using a hair removal product on her legs which appear to already be stubble free. Why would she be doing that anyway is my question. That should have been seen as a warning sign to not proceed.
I, being the product persuaded person that I am went out and bought this amazing time saver dealy. Oh the simplicity of not having to shave your legs, but simply apply a cream that will make it all disappear while you shower, oh the bliss. (Oh the nightmare.)
I applied said cream to my legs ignoring the warning that clearly states to “test product on small area of skin and wait 24 hours. If irritation occurs, do not use this product.” Pfft yeah right, who has time for that. I have hairy legs now and I want to get rid of it now, not 24 hours from now.
I figured that the tingling turning to stinging sensation was to be expected and continued on with the normal routine. Suddenly my routine turns pain induced panic and I wipe the crap off my legs as fast as humanly possible (also ignoring the warnings to NOT SCRUB the area. I didn’t want any trace of this crap left on my body.)
I step out of the shower and pat my legs dry, like I was told, hoping the worst was over. It wasn’t.
I now have a swollen painful rash all over my legs, resembling that of a lobstery skin feels like it is on fire. I am wearing a skirt and leggings. Everyone tells me I look great, but little do they know it’s the only thing I can wear that doesn’t cause a severe burning sensation to my calves.
Thank god I didn’t use this anywhere else on my body, I fear the pain would be too much to tolerate.
LESSON FOR TODAY: There is no easy way out. Take the 5 minutes to shave your damn legs moron.
Comon & Rescue Me!
A couple of weeks ago, I had a day. It snowed, I was ok with that. I was having a glorious day at work regardless and nothing could dampen the mood for me. No particular reason for my excessive happiness, just blissfully enjoying being alive. That’s allowed. Obviously some other power thought it wasn’t, and just to test my capabilities and tolerance I was given a rather interesting afternoon.
After work I finish brushing off the dusting of snow from the car (with an actual scraper might I add, not a credit card or some other object whose purpose was not originally intended for snow removal) when I notice I have an excessively flat tire. O.k. No biggie. Because of my dad, I know how to change a tire. So I get out the spare and begin hositing up the side of the car. Once I am all ready to go I realize that in the midst of my ability and ambition to change said tire, I had forgotten to loosen the nuts BEFORE the tire was off the ground. So, back to stage one. With a bit of a struggle, I manage, and again begin hoisting up the car. A couple of people from work offer to help but I decline because hello, I am superwoman after all. Just as I pull off the tire to replace it with the spare, my glasses fall off my face, into the snow, and I kneel on them. In one fluid motion, I manage to break my glasses right in half.
I now proceed to finish putting on the spare tire partially blind. (ok so it wasn’ t that bad, but glasses are meant for seeing. So when you don’t have them initially, it’s rather difficult.)
Content with what I had accomplished, I was ready to get rolling. Pack everything back in the car, am about to fire it up and I remember three things.
1. The tire exchange is closed
2. My dad’s birthday dinner is scheduled for...10 minutes ago
3. I cannot drive over 60 km on the spare, and have a half an hour of driving to do on the highway, which happens to also be covered in a blanket of snow.
I end up calling my dad, on the way to his own party to come and pick me up. Funny how most of these situations end with a phone call to my father. Lucky girl I am. I leave my car at work, have a great dinner, my eyes semi adjust without the glasses, and I have forgotten my dad’s birthday card in the car. Not even close to perfection, but it will have to do. Ironically the card I got for my dad says something along the lines of “Because of my dad I know what to do in every situation” inside reads “call dad.”
I have yet to give him the card.
FYI: I now have my new glasses on, and it is glorious. I actually needed new lenses but didn't have any money to buy them and because of this misfourtune, I ended up getting new ones (paid for by mum. thank you times a million, my headaches are gone.) The following day I also took my car to the tire exchange to have it replaced. Turns out the tire was never put on correctly in the first place, and I managed to get it repaired for free, because for the first time in my life I told them what I felt I deserved rather then getting pushed around.
Sometimes it takes longer, but most things happen to open the door to something else. I got a new pair of glasses and a moment of self assurance, so I would say this worked out pretty well for me all things considered.
After work I finish brushing off the dusting of snow from the car (with an actual scraper might I add, not a credit card or some other object whose purpose was not originally intended for snow removal) when I notice I have an excessively flat tire. O.k. No biggie. Because of my dad, I know how to change a tire. So I get out the spare and begin hositing up the side of the car. Once I am all ready to go I realize that in the midst of my ability and ambition to change said tire, I had forgotten to loosen the nuts BEFORE the tire was off the ground. So, back to stage one. With a bit of a struggle, I manage, and again begin hoisting up the car. A couple of people from work offer to help but I decline because hello, I am superwoman after all. Just as I pull off the tire to replace it with the spare, my glasses fall off my face, into the snow, and I kneel on them. In one fluid motion, I manage to break my glasses right in half.
I now proceed to finish putting on the spare tire partially blind. (ok so it wasn’ t that bad, but glasses are meant for seeing. So when you don’t have them initially, it’s rather difficult.)
Content with what I had accomplished, I was ready to get rolling. Pack everything back in the car, am about to fire it up and I remember three things.
1. The tire exchange is closed
2. My dad’s birthday dinner is scheduled for...10 minutes ago
3. I cannot drive over 60 km on the spare, and have a half an hour of driving to do on the highway, which happens to also be covered in a blanket of snow.
I end up calling my dad, on the way to his own party to come and pick me up. Funny how most of these situations end with a phone call to my father. Lucky girl I am. I leave my car at work, have a great dinner, my eyes semi adjust without the glasses, and I have forgotten my dad’s birthday card in the car. Not even close to perfection, but it will have to do. Ironically the card I got for my dad says something along the lines of “Because of my dad I know what to do in every situation” inside reads “call dad.”
I have yet to give him the card.
FYI: I now have my new glasses on, and it is glorious. I actually needed new lenses but didn't have any money to buy them and because of this misfourtune, I ended up getting new ones (paid for by mum. thank you times a million, my headaches are gone.) The following day I also took my car to the tire exchange to have it replaced. Turns out the tire was never put on correctly in the first place, and I managed to get it repaired for free, because for the first time in my life I told them what I felt I deserved rather then getting pushed around.
Sometimes it takes longer, but most things happen to open the door to something else. I got a new pair of glasses and a moment of self assurance, so I would say this worked out pretty well for me all things considered.
THAT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT...MEGAN FOX GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ok, normally I don't write about celebrities. I don't have the time or energy to care what they had for breakfast two weeks ago, or that they are preparing for their 8th divorce. But I seriously cannot help but comment on statements being made by Megan Fox. Most guys would likely know who I am talking about. I actually happen to have a non lesbian girl crush on this amazingly gorgeous human being. In my eyes, shes perfect. She has amazing style and a no bullshit attitude. I would do anything to be like her. (Sounds a bit soul selling and superficial, but we all have our moments. For me, this is one of those times.)
She was quoted to have said she feels like a transvestite with no self esteem, and that her "manly looks make her want to vomit." seriously, stop right there. If you are going to walk around with those looks and continue to complain like that, I am going to have to intervene. God forbid you would have to look like me miss Megan. I wouldn't want to hear what you would have to say about that.
I, like any other girl with a low level of self esteem can't even begin to imagine how someone with so much beauty could feel just as insecure about themselves. I always have the thought in the back of my mind that if i was beautiful all my problems would be solved. It is a bit dissapointing to find out that this may not be totally true. What can I blame my problems on now if not that! Help, I'm having a life moment.( a tiny ounce of sarcasm may be present here, but mostly because I don't want you to know that some of these thoughts may be true.)
Confession
I don't like shopping.
I bet some of you are in disagreement, so let me explain.
I like forced social interaction.
I enjoy walking around looking at shiny objects and being asked by the sales clerk if i need help. Yeah I need help, but not the kind you can give me, but thanks for asking, your forced interaction with me as a customer is enough.
I like to buy ideas.
I have no money, but I appreacite being able to accumulate material objects if they are on sale. If I do buy something its likely because I am buying an idea that I will later want to replicate (and end up never doing so.) I am very craft oriented and see a project in most things. Micheals is a death trap for me, I have a time limit set most of the time before I enter.
I can't stand large masses of people who are easily distracted.
Going into Costco is my own personal hell. The only time I enter such a facility is when I have a list. Who goes to costco to browse? It's a place of wholesale, so im suggesting you do not impulse buy anything unless you want three or more of them.
I am easily overwhelmed.
For most shopping is a relaxing way to spend the afternoon. For me, its a challenge. I often have to hold onto other people to walk and look at something at the same time. My multitasking abilities dissapear and I am swallowed in a sea of people and slowly become blind and deaf. Forms of communication become obsolete and I am left to die a slow painful retail death. (ok so its not that bad, but how else can i explain it? you're not in my head.)
I never get what I came for.
I go in to find a pair of pants and I come out with fake flowers and a dress. I get home and still have no pants. What part of that is a good time?
I bet some of you are in disagreement, so let me explain.
I like forced social interaction.
I enjoy walking around looking at shiny objects and being asked by the sales clerk if i need help. Yeah I need help, but not the kind you can give me, but thanks for asking, your forced interaction with me as a customer is enough.
I like to buy ideas.
I have no money, but I appreacite being able to accumulate material objects if they are on sale. If I do buy something its likely because I am buying an idea that I will later want to replicate (and end up never doing so.) I am very craft oriented and see a project in most things. Micheals is a death trap for me, I have a time limit set most of the time before I enter.
I can't stand large masses of people who are easily distracted.
Going into Costco is my own personal hell. The only time I enter such a facility is when I have a list. Who goes to costco to browse? It's a place of wholesale, so im suggesting you do not impulse buy anything unless you want three or more of them.
I am easily overwhelmed.
For most shopping is a relaxing way to spend the afternoon. For me, its a challenge. I often have to hold onto other people to walk and look at something at the same time. My multitasking abilities dissapear and I am swallowed in a sea of people and slowly become blind and deaf. Forms of communication become obsolete and I am left to die a slow painful retail death. (ok so its not that bad, but how else can i explain it? you're not in my head.)
I never get what I came for.
I go in to find a pair of pants and I come out with fake flowers and a dress. I get home and still have no pants. What part of that is a good time?
I am easily affected by my environment.
Going into superstore is intoxicating and sobering at the same time. I get a yellow infused migraine after 0.5 seconds. Flowers and Chocolates and fluffy shit line the aisle. I am suddenly overwhelmed with a product placement induced need for companionship and chocolate.
All that aside, i really need this ring. Totally out of context but thats how i roll.
Bleck
So I have been feeling pretty under the weather lately. Enough so to have to take the week off from work. I am hopeful to say that I am now on the mend, although im afraid that my invisibility may be wearing a little thin.When one is not feeling well, they do not concern themselves with how they look, simply because most of their focus is put towards feeling better on the inside. My comfort comes in the form of a pink, fluffy, frilly housecoat with my nickname on it. My grandma, mum and I made it, and when i put it on it makes me feel better.
So after spending the week at my parents house to repair the damages of my broken little heart (literally) I hop into the car with cat and dog in tow and head for home. Not thinking twice about the pink housecoat and polka dot pink pajamas that are encompassing my body.
As I sing along to the radio, cat and dog both looking out the window I notice a camera crew. A whole lot of them. As I sit and wait for my turn at the 4 way stop, I realize that I am in fact on camera. They are videotaping me in all my sickly glory. So much for being anonymously and invisibly sick. Hello World. I give you Lisa, at her best. Pink housecoat and all.
Please let me know if I appear on your television screen in the near future. I would like to see what they have to say about my fashion statement. Warning: If you suddenly see a bunch of women in their mid 20's rocking pink housecoats, do not be alarmed. Its just the next trend I have started by accident. Happens all the time, no big deal, no need to stare. Move along.
Study this image thoroughly as it is the newest attire to hit the streets of....Shawnigan Lake.
...as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth
So a while ago I took myself out on a date. And I had an amazing time. Went for dinner, did some window shopping, and to get really cliche I went in a photobooth then went to a musical. So fantastic. A kind man even offered to pay for my parking and I got two free things at my favorite store of all time (the patch.) Doesn't get much better then that. I have scanned my photobooth pictures as an example of what NOT to do in that tiny cubicle in your 10 seconds of fame..err frame. I didn't bother to fix the horrible exposure or the red glow shining from my skin but that is the beauty of these things. They are so totally awful that they are almost nice. ALMOST.
Just a tip, when you put your money in you better be ready or you will get exhibit #1.
Just a tip, when you put your money in you better be ready or you will get exhibit #1.
Accepting Change
My mediation for today was so bang on with where I am at in my life I must get sentimental (just for a moment) and share it with you.
The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.But change is inevitable, and desirable.Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new "normal"?Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Speaking of change I have been through a lot lately. It is funny how I can write about such mundane things and go on and on forever about nothing, but I fail to ever mention anything of real significance going on in my life. For some reason, I never talk about the things in life that REALLY matter. I think it is slightly out of fear of showing who I really am. Not that the me writing in this blog is any different......
Anyways. For a quick life update I have done the following in the past 6 months:
- bought my first home - that which I furnished for under 500 dollars.
- adopted a kitten named Isabel. She controls the world just in case you were wondering.
- Visited my hometown for the first time in 4 years
- Got a motorbike (Honda VTR 250) and my full bike license
I have done the following things within the past year or more:
- went on a cruise to alaska
- started geocaching - 1 more to go until my 50th find!
- Got a promotion at (at the addiction recovery center in which I work)
- Auditioned for Canadian Idol, only made it past the first round
- Sold my first piece of art
As you can see, deep down I am a fairly simple person. I just have the ability to develop complex insight in normal situations. Thus resulting in having a morsel of interesting things to write about.
Today is my life day. I needed it to be able to take care of some real life complexity involving student loan and MSP mishaps. I should probably pay my overdue fees at the movie store if I ever want to rent a movie again. *yawn* no wonder I am on my blog procrastinating.
The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.But change is inevitable, and desirable.Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new "normal"?Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Speaking of change I have been through a lot lately. It is funny how I can write about such mundane things and go on and on forever about nothing, but I fail to ever mention anything of real significance going on in my life. For some reason, I never talk about the things in life that REALLY matter. I think it is slightly out of fear of showing who I really am. Not that the me writing in this blog is any different......
Anyways. For a quick life update I have done the following in the past 6 months:
- bought my first home - that which I furnished for under 500 dollars.
- adopted a kitten named Isabel. She controls the world just in case you were wondering.
- Visited my hometown for the first time in 4 years
- Got a motorbike (Honda VTR 250) and my full bike license
I have done the following things within the past year or more:
- went on a cruise to alaska
- started geocaching - 1 more to go until my 50th find!
- Got a promotion at (at the addiction recovery center in which I work)
- Auditioned for Canadian Idol, only made it past the first round
- Sold my first piece of art
As you can see, deep down I am a fairly simple person. I just have the ability to develop complex insight in normal situations. Thus resulting in having a morsel of interesting things to write about.
Today is my life day. I needed it to be able to take care of some real life complexity involving student loan and MSP mishaps. I should probably pay my overdue fees at the movie store if I ever want to rent a movie again. *yawn* no wonder I am on my blog procrastinating.
Where is my mind and socks?
So the other night, I and some co-workers of mine were taken out by our boss for a rather fancy dinner. I was not pre-warned as to the fancy factor of this fine dining facility, so I expressed my concern as my co-worker and I (last to arrive of course) entered the restaurant. For some reason, I felt compelled to comment "I hope I am dressed well enough for this place, it looks pretty fancy." As she opens the door she reassures me that I look lovely. In the midst of my inability to graciously accept a compliment and leave it at that I add "But my socks don't match!"
You can guess what happens next.
She starts laughing hysterically. It's contagious and I start laughing. We both enter through the foyer to realize.....Our entire party is sitting in awe at us as we come around the corner....and along with them, the others in this TINY space of complete silence. The only thing we know to do....is laugh even more.
oopsies.
We had an amazing dinner, easy for me to say the best I have ever had. We had a great time with good company. As we leave we say our goodbyes and thank yous (for about the 5th time). My friend and I walking down the boardwalk to our cars as the others head up the hill to theirs I pull up my pants to reveal just how unmatched my socks were. And you thought the situation in the restaurant was bad. We practically had the entire town captured by our exuberant cackling. We couldn't move. Maybe when you see this picture you may see why:
When my life is busy and stressful - socks tend to be preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeety far down on the priority list. I haven't had a matched pair in about a week. I figure it is time to tackle the laundry and get back to the sock matching. Maybe the chaos of the rest of my life will subside along with it. My unmatched socks are definitely a reflection of how the rest of my life is going, so maybe if I put them together, everything else will follow? Wishful thinking? I'm hoping for a miracle. Not setting my hopes up to high or anything.
The Pixies say it best
With your feet in the air and
Your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it,
Your head will collapse
But theres nothing in it.
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind?
overdue, and paying for it
So I got a phone call from the local moving renting facility kindly reminding me that I have late fees incurring on a movie I have rented. If the movie store can have a system efficient enough to have a previously recorded message call me to remind me of my running bill of late fees, why can't more significant organizations such as BC student loan services call to tell me important things like "we tried to take money out of your old account and forgot you no longer use it even though you told us a month ago and now you going to incur overage fees because we can withdraw money when it does not exist." The library is even organized enough to let me know via email or phone, whichever I prefer, that my books are GOING to be due soon, and also offer me the option to renew. How is that possible, they don't even get any money from me. I am skeptical.
My phone company can't even tell me that I am magically making calls from the United States when I am clearly well within the Canadian border. I don't even use my phone and they get over 50 dollars a month from me. I wonder what would happen if they started working non profit, maybe something would actually be right for once.
I wrote this thinking I would feel a little better after whining, but now i am even more perplexed then before.
My phone company can't even tell me that I am magically making calls from the United States when I am clearly well within the Canadian border. I don't even use my phone and they get over 50 dollars a month from me. I wonder what would happen if they started working non profit, maybe something would actually be right for once.
I wrote this thinking I would feel a little better after whining, but now i am even more perplexed then before.
Life Lessons
Little people are so fantastic. I overheard an argument going on between to little brothers the other day which ended in a sharp "I hate your stupid bum" remark as the youngest peeled out of the driveway on his tricycle. For a 3 year old, those are some pretty intense words. Whatever they were arguing about must have been rather heated and important. I secretly wish that I could end disagreements in comments such as this and get away with it. Just like how when I see a little boy run full boar into a glass window at the mall, I feel bad for the poor kid and the egg that will develop on his forehead in a few seconds, but I am also jealous. Jealous that the mistakes and choices I make in life have a far less instant and abrupt response. I bet he knows right away that running into the wall wasn't the best idea. Life would be so much easier if at the moment you make a decision you are likely to regret, a glass wall instantly rises letting you know it was the wrong one. But no. If this were to happen, we would mostly likely run right through it and be left to pick up the pieces in the aftermath. As adults we have to learn from our choices and mistakes. There is always underlying motives for our actions, like a secret code to decipher. How bloody infuriating. It is even more frustrating when I have learnt the same lessons time and time again. Its mad you know, to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
Oh to be 3 years old again.
p.s. I have already failed in my attempt to accept compliments. I didn't want to admit it right away, but it really was only one day into the challege. So, here we go again. Attempt #2 begins.
Oh to be 3 years old again.
p.s. I have already failed in my attempt to accept compliments. I didn't want to admit it right away, but it really was only one day into the challege. So, here we go again. Attempt #2 begins.
Thank You. That's it, just thank you
So at work I have been given an assignment....of sorts. I have been aware of this particular characteristic of mine for quite some time now. (some may call it a flaw...I call it word vomit). Anyways, my mission is to accept a compliment without any with and or butts to deter the conversation as to why I do not deserve such a compliment in the first place. Cue examples:
You: "Wow Lisa, I love your hair."
Me: " I haven't dyed it in over 6 months, I am not dying it again because I can't afford to anymore, see my roots they are hideous...etc."
You: " I love your shirt"
Me: " Oh this? I got it second hand at Value Village which I might add is not thrifty shopping, it's like second hand shopping for rich people...(insert a lengthy one sided conversation about the costly old navy jeans to follow here)"
You: " You made (insert some form of artistic/creative capability here)? It's amazing"
Me: "You won't believe how easy it was" or " I got this inspiration from here and here so I can't take the credit as it wasn't in its original form my idea...etc etc etc..."
By now you may start to understand what I am getting at. Compliment me directly and you are about to endure on a rather lengthy explanation about a. why I don't deserve the compliment or b. a complete explanation about how whatever it is you are trying to acknowledge came to be WITHOUT my help or direction.
It isn't as thought I don't truly believe I deserve (most) of the compliments I receive. This is why I am making a conscious effort to thank people and accept the compliment as just that, an acknowledgement of ME period.
If you wish to help me out on this endeavour feel free to leave a comment/compliment/acknowledgement or even criticism. Another thing that comes with the ability to graciously accept a compliment is to be able to do the same with criticism (in a constructive manner). I do ask that you keep the character bashing to a minimum but if you honestly have something you would like to say, please do. I figure if I have the opportunity to think about what I say before I say it on here, I may just be able to say thank you and leave it at that. Here goes nothing (or everything, depending on how you look at it?) oh god lisa just hit the publish button already....
You: "Wow Lisa, I love your hair."
Me: " I haven't dyed it in over 6 months, I am not dying it again because I can't afford to anymore, see my roots they are hideous...etc."
You: " I love your shirt"
Me: " Oh this? I got it second hand at Value Village which I might add is not thrifty shopping, it's like second hand shopping for rich people...(insert a lengthy one sided conversation about the costly old navy jeans to follow here)"
You: " You made (insert some form of artistic/creative capability here)? It's amazing"
Me: "You won't believe how easy it was" or " I got this inspiration from here and here so I can't take the credit as it wasn't in its original form my idea...etc etc etc..."
By now you may start to understand what I am getting at. Compliment me directly and you are about to endure on a rather lengthy explanation about a. why I don't deserve the compliment or b. a complete explanation about how whatever it is you are trying to acknowledge came to be WITHOUT my help or direction.
It isn't as thought I don't truly believe I deserve (most) of the compliments I receive. This is why I am making a conscious effort to thank people and accept the compliment as just that, an acknowledgement of ME period.
If you wish to help me out on this endeavour feel free to leave a comment/compliment/acknowledgement or even criticism. Another thing that comes with the ability to graciously accept a compliment is to be able to do the same with criticism (in a constructive manner). I do ask that you keep the character bashing to a minimum but if you honestly have something you would like to say, please do. I figure if I have the opportunity to think about what I say before I say it on here, I may just be able to say thank you and leave it at that. Here goes nothing (or everything, depending on how you look at it?) oh god lisa just hit the publish button already....
Absolute
My meditation for today...
Absolute Honesty: Both with ourselves and with others, in word, deed, and thought.
Absolute Unselfishness: To be willing, wherever possible, to help others who need our help.
Absolute Love: You shall love with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. And. . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Absolute Purity: Purity of mind, of body, and of purpose.
There is only 4 absolutes. Contrary to populary belief, Absolute Vodka is not the 5th included in this list. If it were, that would be completely ridiculous, so don't even think about it.
Absolute Honesty: Both with ourselves and with others, in word, deed, and thought.
Absolute Unselfishness: To be willing, wherever possible, to help others who need our help.
Absolute Love: You shall love with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. And. . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Absolute Purity: Purity of mind, of body, and of purpose.
There is only 4 absolutes. Contrary to populary belief, Absolute Vodka is not the 5th included in this list. If it were, that would be completely ridiculous, so don't even think about it.
In-fact-uation
So I was just thinking...
I wonder if people prefer the "idea" of me, over the actual flesh and bone version. Does anyone else ever wonder such things? Sometimes I find the idea of myself far more appealing then the me that I actually consist of and I would hate to be a dissapointment for someone whose "idea" of me is different then the real life version, but one question remains.
How am I any different? It's still the same me. Always has been always will be. Sometimes I tend to give people to much of myself, but I promise I'm not being anyone else but....me.
So what's the deal...exactly? Does any one have advice on how to be someone else? That would come in handy in certain situations, I seem to struggle with that piece.
I wonder if people prefer the "idea" of me, over the actual flesh and bone version. Does anyone else ever wonder such things? Sometimes I find the idea of myself far more appealing then the me that I actually consist of and I would hate to be a dissapointment for someone whose "idea" of me is different then the real life version, but one question remains.
How am I any different? It's still the same me. Always has been always will be. Sometimes I tend to give people to much of myself, but I promise I'm not being anyone else but....me.
So what's the deal...exactly? Does any one have advice on how to be someone else? That would come in handy in certain situations, I seem to struggle with that piece.
Realize
Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other and will never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.
Take time to realize
I'm on your side didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.
It's not always the same
no it's never the same if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.
If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize...........
- lyrics by Colbie Caillat
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP for the mind of a 17 year old.
As I was doing some "spring cleaning" aka procrastinating at my book shelf as I attempt to remove some to create space for the masses of others (unsuccessfully) I stumbled across a book of old poems and I found this little ditty:
BROKEN LOVE - (sounds intense)
You tell me you don't love me,
But how could this be true?
I don't think you understand
How much pain you've put me through.
You say that you're just changing,
Your feelings aren't as strong.
But how can you fall out of love with someone,
Who's never done you wrong?
Someone who still loves you,
So deep within their heart;
This heart that you have broken
And torn it right apart.
I know you'll never love me,
I cannot change the way you feel.
I can only remember the times
When I knew your love was real.
I must find the strength inside me,
Hidden so deep within.
To find out where you stop,
And where I must begin.
Now this was written after rather lengthy relationship - longest one to date in fact - But when I read this to myself, the first thought that comes to mind is "Wow, this must have been written by someone with poor writing ability who just got out of a hefty marriage." So it's quite funny to read it now and know that in the eyes of a 17 year old girl, this breakup was like the end of my world (as I knew it.)
To me it is a reminder of how much I have grown and accomplished over the years. The feelings exposed in this poem feel like lightyears away, but still so close to home. I often find my mind wandering back to this place of blissfulness and becoming caught up in that moment all over again - but then I am quickly drawn back to reality (or at least woken up by my alarm clock.)
Which reminds me. I have been having such absurd dreams lately. A lot of them I have all these materialistic things - Fancy house on the ocean, fancy car, jewelry that I don't wear. I am often throwing huge parties - for people whose faces I cannot really make out - only to find myself withdrawn and ignored, and not making any attempt whatsoever to socialize with ANYONE at my OWN party. A couple of times I eventually end up being attacked by a bear or alligator on my beach or roof ( I know...this is where it gets weird, I'll spare you the details) But even though there are hundreds of people around, no one comes to my aid. Could this be a sign that I am my own worst enemy? That I am the only one standing in my way of achieving what I want? When I wake up I always feel like I am subconciously reminding myself that it doesn't matter how much "stuff" I accumulate, I will never be happy until I am happy with ME. Ugh, I totally hate it when my dreams are right. Why can't it be all cupcakes and rainbows and clouds and flying and bliss instead of this hidden underlying meaning of life shit. I'm so over it.
And what's the deal with ALWAYS being chased by a bear (sometimes alligator) I'm tired of waking up to a heart beating a million miles a minute and having to remind myself that bears and animals cannot unlock doors and chase you into your house. So annoying.
BROKEN LOVE - (sounds intense)
You tell me you don't love me,
But how could this be true?
I don't think you understand
How much pain you've put me through.
You say that you're just changing,
Your feelings aren't as strong.
But how can you fall out of love with someone,
Who's never done you wrong?
Someone who still loves you,
So deep within their heart;
This heart that you have broken
And torn it right apart.
I know you'll never love me,
I cannot change the way you feel.
I can only remember the times
When I knew your love was real.
I must find the strength inside me,
Hidden so deep within.
To find out where you stop,
And where I must begin.
Now this was written after rather lengthy relationship - longest one to date in fact - But when I read this to myself, the first thought that comes to mind is "Wow, this must have been written by someone with poor writing ability who just got out of a hefty marriage." So it's quite funny to read it now and know that in the eyes of a 17 year old girl, this breakup was like the end of my world (as I knew it.)
To me it is a reminder of how much I have grown and accomplished over the years. The feelings exposed in this poem feel like lightyears away, but still so close to home. I often find my mind wandering back to this place of blissfulness and becoming caught up in that moment all over again - but then I am quickly drawn back to reality (or at least woken up by my alarm clock.)
Which reminds me. I have been having such absurd dreams lately. A lot of them I have all these materialistic things - Fancy house on the ocean, fancy car, jewelry that I don't wear. I am often throwing huge parties - for people whose faces I cannot really make out - only to find myself withdrawn and ignored, and not making any attempt whatsoever to socialize with ANYONE at my OWN party. A couple of times I eventually end up being attacked by a bear or alligator on my beach or roof ( I know...this is where it gets weird, I'll spare you the details) But even though there are hundreds of people around, no one comes to my aid. Could this be a sign that I am my own worst enemy? That I am the only one standing in my way of achieving what I want? When I wake up I always feel like I am subconciously reminding myself that it doesn't matter how much "stuff" I accumulate, I will never be happy until I am happy with ME. Ugh, I totally hate it when my dreams are right. Why can't it be all cupcakes and rainbows and clouds and flying and bliss instead of this hidden underlying meaning of life shit. I'm so over it.
And what's the deal with ALWAYS being chased by a bear (sometimes alligator) I'm tired of waking up to a heart beating a million miles a minute and having to remind myself that bears and animals cannot unlock doors and chase you into your house. So annoying.
In a funk...d
So I am sort of in a funky mixed up state of mind at this particular moment(s) in time. You see, sometimes I am bit creepy and look at other peoples photographs on facebook. Well lets call it borderline creepy, bcuz I know that is SORT OF what they are there for.
(Wow, I just realized I dropped the F Bomb... oopsies. I swore I would never do that.)
But when I look at said person(s) photos, I think to myself, my goodness it certainly looks like they are having a fantastic time wherever they are doing whatever it is they may be doing. And then I start crying, balling actually. But why? I mean, I have a great time doing the things I do where I end up doing them, but through my own eyes, it does not appear the same. If you were to take a picture of me doing something I may consider a good time, It would usually involve my dog, a GPS that doesn't function quite as it should, possibly a friend, and 99.9% of the time, I would not be in it. So maybe that is the problem? Is it that I don't get the opportunity to show everyone what an absolute blast I am having because I am behind the lens, or is it the fact that I spend a lot of my time off doing adult things that are considered a neccesity and not so much a fantastic out of this world experience? Or maybe it is the fact that quite a few of the pictures I have seen that I feel envious of are taken during a "night out on the town" a pracitce that is extremely rare to someone like myself who usually only goes to the bar once a year, on my birthday, which often results in myself going to bed an anticlimatic half hour before midnight.
Or maybe it is something deeper?
Most of the time I feel as though I am getting quite a bit out of life, ya know, lots of bang for my buck so to speak...but I am also often overwhelemed at how quickly time passes, and how many opportunities go unoticed as I rush through the routine of my so called life. There are so many endless possibilites I want to explore, but my body only allows me to be awake for a certain amount of time at a time before I start hallucinating. (which for some people, is a whole other level of fun, but I prefer to be at least somewhat in control of what I am seeing and doing at any given moment.)
I fear as though one day I am going to wake up, 80 years old and go WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?
(Wow, I just realized I dropped the F Bomb... oopsies. I swore I would never do that.)
But when I look at said person(s) photos, I think to myself, my goodness it certainly looks like they are having a fantastic time wherever they are doing whatever it is they may be doing. And then I start crying, balling actually. But why? I mean, I have a great time doing the things I do where I end up doing them, but through my own eyes, it does not appear the same. If you were to take a picture of me doing something I may consider a good time, It would usually involve my dog, a GPS that doesn't function quite as it should, possibly a friend, and 99.9% of the time, I would not be in it. So maybe that is the problem? Is it that I don't get the opportunity to show everyone what an absolute blast I am having because I am behind the lens, or is it the fact that I spend a lot of my time off doing adult things that are considered a neccesity and not so much a fantastic out of this world experience? Or maybe it is the fact that quite a few of the pictures I have seen that I feel envious of are taken during a "night out on the town" a pracitce that is extremely rare to someone like myself who usually only goes to the bar once a year, on my birthday, which often results in myself going to bed an anticlimatic half hour before midnight.
Or maybe it is something deeper?
Most of the time I feel as though I am getting quite a bit out of life, ya know, lots of bang for my buck so to speak...but I am also often overwhelemed at how quickly time passes, and how many opportunities go unoticed as I rush through the routine of my so called life. There are so many endless possibilites I want to explore, but my body only allows me to be awake for a certain amount of time at a time before I start hallucinating. (which for some people, is a whole other level of fun, but I prefer to be at least somewhat in control of what I am seeing and doing at any given moment.)
I fear as though one day I am going to wake up, 80 years old and go WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?
Fat. Naked. Dangerous
No I am not talking about me...i'm talking about cupid. He who brings along the romantic for some, dreadful for most, unimagineative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day. Cupid just like any other man....or little person with wings, was selfish. He wanted the attention of a beautiful woman so much, it eventually to her demise (with the help of her jealous mother-in-law of course.) Classic love story right there.
Another good one, is the story of St.Valentine himself. Nothing says love like murdering a priest who performed secret marrige ceremonies for soldiers. (They had to be secret because marrige was seen as a "distraction" for soldiers at war and took their mind off fighting.....GOD FORBID THAT TO EVER HAPPEN.)
Another good one, is the story of St.Valentine himself. Nothing says love like murdering a priest who performed secret marrige ceremonies for soldiers. (They had to be secret because marrige was seen as a "distraction" for soldiers at war and took their mind off fighting.....GOD FORBID THAT TO EVER HAPPEN.)
Now, I don't have anything against valentines day. It is a chance for people in relationships to redeem themselves for the lack of love they (don't) display every other day of the year. But let me tell ya, I have been single for coming up on 5 years now and I honestly see no point in this holiday what so ever. I don't even get paid stat holiday pay for having to put up with all the sappy shit that goes on throughout the day. Don't get me wrong though, I am not bitter. I think it is important for people to rekindle their love for eachother and really show how much your better half means to you. But I have honestly just never been a fan. I love my family and I tell them that every day of my life, I do not need some almost meaningless holiday to do so.I say all of this like I could care less if prince charming (or even just a below average joe ) got me a dozen roses or chocolate covered strawberries; but I am sure if this rare occasion were to actually happen to me, I may just have to graciously accept. Nothing says I love you like dead vegitation and fat-saturated sugar products.
I guess we will never know.
Just remember, one day in February isn't special, but YOU are. HA. right :P
post script
is that what p.s. even stands for? i should really look into that.
it's obvious that I haven't written in my blog in decades. ok..maybe not since my birthday but whos counting, obviously i'm not because i'm no good at it.
I have been reading over some of the "dusty favorites" for inspiration and i really must say that I am extremely brilliant at making something out of nothing. It is amazing how absolutely nothing about my life is even remotely interesting, but I still manage to come up with some type of word vomit to take up a tiny portion of the giant intergalacitic space of web. K...that doesn't make sense but I had to try to make myself at least seem cool. I'm not fooling anyone though obviously, not even myself and usually thats pretty damn easy to do.
I have no idea where this post is going and it has taken me much longer to write then it should have as my chihuahua lulu demands to sit in between me and the laptop on my lap which doesn't make for a very comforatble situation but I love her to much to put her anywhere else. Shes got me sucked right into her little puppy scheme and its totally working.
i love everyone.
love lisa the average boring human being
it's obvious that I haven't written in my blog in decades. ok..maybe not since my birthday but whos counting, obviously i'm not because i'm no good at it.
I have been reading over some of the "dusty favorites" for inspiration and i really must say that I am extremely brilliant at making something out of nothing. It is amazing how absolutely nothing about my life is even remotely interesting, but I still manage to come up with some type of word vomit to take up a tiny portion of the giant intergalacitic space of web. K...that doesn't make sense but I had to try to make myself at least seem cool. I'm not fooling anyone though obviously, not even myself and usually thats pretty damn easy to do.
I have no idea where this post is going and it has taken me much longer to write then it should have as my chihuahua lulu demands to sit in between me and the laptop on my lap which doesn't make for a very comforatble situation but I love her to much to put her anywhere else. Shes got me sucked right into her little puppy scheme and its totally working.
i love everyone.
love lisa the average boring human being
bahumbug
is feeling crapulent as a result of the dissapearance of her all time favorite blog post. The crapulence could also be caused by lack of sleep and eating another piece of deli meat on the day of expiration date which is of course against her religion..of sorts.
See post titled "best before" for clarification (or even more ridiculous ramblings) on expiration date......s
See post titled "Crapulent" for a more detailed definition of this particular..............feeling?
zzZzZzzZZzzzZZ......awkward.
See post titled "best before" for clarification (or even more ridiculous ramblings) on expiration date......s
See post titled "Crapulent" for a more detailed definition of this particular..............feeling?
zzZzZzzZZzzzZZ......awkward.
Am I that old?
So I turned 23 on the 15th of this month. I don't feel 23, but I am constantly reminded by the amount of babies and marriages practically flooding my friends list these days. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful babies and weddings, but are we all really at that point in our lives? One part of me fears I will never get to that stage in my life, but another is grateful that I have my entire life ahead of me to experience it. I guess my plan to adopt kind of helps me out in that i don't actually need a husband to start my own family. But I am FAR from ready to even think about adopting, financially and emotionally. But I have my little chi lulu and a pending "big brothers big sisters" application to help fill the void. :) I am much happier these days though. I couldn't tell you exactly why, only that I am finding myself appreciating the little things and taking time out for myself, and not letting anything hold me back from doing what I want to do. Like going to SEATTLE!!
My mom and I took a trip down to Seattle in celebration of my birthday. It was originally planned that my best friend would be joining me for a week, but she hurt herself pretty badly and couldn't make it out. Rather than wallow in my own self pity (don't get me wrong, I was upset but mostly for her having to experience pain) I decided to do most of the things we had planned anyways.
Seattle was a blast. We made every moment count, although a lot of the action happened right at the Canadian/American border. We witnessed some rather disrespectful and impatient behavior by those with Washington state plates. There is something at the border called the "nexus lane" for special people who don't have to wait and can bypass the lineups. God knows how you get into that elite group. But some people abuse the system. Like the group of girls who "pretended" they had no idea they were in this EXTREMELY well marked lane until OOPS they were at the gates. I guess because they were cute someone let them in line, but one other vehicle was not so fortunate. The massive truck behind him who obviously knows that NEXUS means no waiting, was so frustrated at the couple trying to merge into the regular lane that he drove up on the curb and the lawn to get past!!!! We were lucky that the car of girls made it through because we definitely got to hear some interesting stories as they tried to talk to each other over their music. Ladies, we now all know what bra sizes you are, what you think of each others boobs and who would give anything for a boob job. Quite entertaining, thank you.
We stayed at a pretty swanky hotel just outside of Seattle and definitely got a good deal compared to what we would have payed for something in the downtown core. We were also fortunate enough to utilize the free shuttle service it offered.
My mom and I took a trip down to Seattle in celebration of my birthday. It was originally planned that my best friend would be joining me for a week, but she hurt herself pretty badly and couldn't make it out. Rather than wallow in my own self pity (don't get me wrong, I was upset but mostly for her having to experience pain) I decided to do most of the things we had planned anyways.
Seattle was a blast. We made every moment count, although a lot of the action happened right at the Canadian/American border. We witnessed some rather disrespectful and impatient behavior by those with Washington state plates. There is something at the border called the "nexus lane" for special people who don't have to wait and can bypass the lineups. God knows how you get into that elite group. But some people abuse the system. Like the group of girls who "pretended" they had no idea they were in this EXTREMELY well marked lane until OOPS they were at the gates. I guess because they were cute someone let them in line, but one other vehicle was not so fortunate. The massive truck behind him who obviously knows that NEXUS means no waiting, was so frustrated at the couple trying to merge into the regular lane that he drove up on the curb and the lawn to get past!!!! We were lucky that the car of girls made it through because we definitely got to hear some interesting stories as they tried to talk to each other over their music. Ladies, we now all know what bra sizes you are, what you think of each others boobs and who would give anything for a boob job. Quite entertaining, thank you.
We stayed at a pretty swanky hotel just outside of Seattle and definitely got a good deal compared to what we would have payed for something in the downtown core. We were also fortunate enough to utilize the free shuttle service it offered.
Something we learnt very quickly, but unfortunately a bit to late, was that no one in Seattle really knows where they are going, and all of the people you come in contact with in the service industry DO NOT speak English. So a good idea would be to NOT ask for directions, or really any questions for that matter. Although some of the people we did ask questions to were so cute when they answered yes to a non yes or no question. It really was surprising though to experience such a huge language barrier just crossing the border. Do all the white people think they are to high and mighty to have a respectable position as a bus driver or guest service agent? The streets definitely have something to be desired, and often reek of urine. The city of Victoria would be in uproar and riots would break out constantly if we ever let our city get to that state. But it all builds character, I mean its not called "Sin City" for no reason.
Also to the fellow in the convenience store across the street from our hotel, just because we are from Canada doesn't mean we are stupid. We know how to count change so save yourself the trouble and refrain from attempting to short change us ever again. Even if it is only 6 cents.
When times were rough (like getting lost for 12 blocks on skid row in the pouring rain...literally..) and moments of "I'm not doing this anymore" arose (like when a very sketchy person whose sex still remains in question was following me) my mom was there to pull me through (as was the glass of stoli I insisted was non alcoholic that I managed to chug down in about 10 seconds flat.)
We went to the Experience Music Project and let me tell you "experience" is an understatement. We sang in a vocal booth who converted our voices to a very sultry males voice simultaneously (boy was that weird/cool). We also created our very own rock band with the original title of Lisabelle and...mum. Lisabelle being the lead singer and mum being the amazing drummer to back me up. It is kind of one of those you had to be there moments but it was AWESOME.
With my amazing itinerary and travel planning skills we also managed to squeeze in the space needle, downtown shopping, an underground tour, and some more shopping at the mall across from our hotel. I couldn't have spent my birthday with a better person or had a better time. THANKS MOM!!! Here are some more pictures from our trip compliments a la mum of the underground tour (seriously, right under the sidewalks you can hear people walking overhead.), of the best cupcakes we have ever had (accompanied by the cutest girl who has no idea where BC or Canada is), a cute park in the middle of downtown, and myself at the space needle.
Oh say can you......see?
A couple of weeks ago, my mother and her good friend dragged me to the Memorial Center (stadium in Victoria) straight after finishing a graveyard shift (for which I had been awake 20 hours) to audition for the chance to sing the national anthems at the Salmon Kings Hockey games. Unaware of the giant mass of dog hair all over my fleece vest, I stumbled into give it a go. I didn't practice much on the way down, partially because I didn't even realize I was about to audition until 10 minutes prior, but mostly because I know the national anthems like the back of my hand.....right?
After hearing my moms friend Yvette's renditions, which were amazing it was my turn. "It's almost over" Forcing a smile as I approached the judges table completely disheveled and glossy eyed. After a quick introduction (aka nervous giggling at jokes I didn't really understand) I began to sing, only to....stop..... a few words later. I drew a blank.
That's right ladies and gentlemen. Lisa the human jukebox whose memory bank is forever doomed to be uselessly filled with song lyrics, FORGOT THE WORDS TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!!! I mean even though it was the American Anthem, it was still just as humiliating. I must say, those judges have no idea what they had just witnessed. The first time not only in my somewhat non existent singing career, but in my ENTIRE LIFE I had ever forgotten the lyrics to anything. The girl who remembers every word of the swiffer sweeper commercial from like 1995, and baby got back by sir mix alot, couldn't come up with a line from a song she'd supposedly been singing her whole life. oh my word.
Not only did I forget the next line, but I waited a good solid 20 seconds to come up with "...what is the next line???" I mean, WHO ASKS THE JUDGES WHAT THE NEXT LINE IS TO THE SONG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING? To make matters even worse, I don't think they had really been listening, because after an extremely awkward silence, she replied with the wrong lyrics. I was so thrown off. My "almost over" moment had turned into more of a never ending century.
I did my best to finish it off and PEACED OUT. Lol. Needless to say, I'm certain I won't be getting a call back any time soon, but hey at least I did it, or I wouldn't have this to write about right? And I mean it is one for the books, maybe even the Guinness Book of World Records, because this is definitely worthy.
After hearing my moms friend Yvette's renditions, which were amazing it was my turn. "It's almost over" Forcing a smile as I approached the judges table completely disheveled and glossy eyed. After a quick introduction (aka nervous giggling at jokes I didn't really understand) I began to sing, only to....stop..... a few words later. I drew a blank.
That's right ladies and gentlemen. Lisa the human jukebox whose memory bank is forever doomed to be uselessly filled with song lyrics, FORGOT THE WORDS TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!!! I mean even though it was the American Anthem, it was still just as humiliating. I must say, those judges have no idea what they had just witnessed. The first time not only in my somewhat non existent singing career, but in my ENTIRE LIFE I had ever forgotten the lyrics to anything. The girl who remembers every word of the swiffer sweeper commercial from like 1995, and baby got back by sir mix alot, couldn't come up with a line from a song she'd supposedly been singing her whole life. oh my word.
Not only did I forget the next line, but I waited a good solid 20 seconds to come up with "...what is the next line???" I mean, WHO ASKS THE JUDGES WHAT THE NEXT LINE IS TO THE SONG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING? To make matters even worse, I don't think they had really been listening, because after an extremely awkward silence, she replied with the wrong lyrics. I was so thrown off. My "almost over" moment had turned into more of a never ending century.
I did my best to finish it off and PEACED OUT. Lol. Needless to say, I'm certain I won't be getting a call back any time soon, but hey at least I did it, or I wouldn't have this to write about right? And I mean it is one for the books, maybe even the Guinness Book of World Records, because this is definitely worthy.
Answer
Since no one bothered to even attempt to answer my oh so clever question in the previous post, i'll just give you what you want without working for it. Because utimately, that's how life should be right?
So here it is, on a silver platter and everything.
Answer: Ask one robot what the other would say if it was asked which door was safe. Then go through the other door.
Don't even try to tell me this doesn't work, or come up with some clever suggestion like "why doesn't he just go back to where he came from originally?" Because I have overanalyzed this little puzzle to the maximum and believe you me, I have RULED OUT every other possibility. THIS DOES WORK. Do not second guess me.
So here it is, on a silver platter and everything.
Answer: Ask one robot what the other would say if it was asked which door was safe. Then go through the other door.
Don't even try to tell me this doesn't work, or come up with some clever suggestion like "why doesn't he just go back to where he came from originally?" Because I have overanalyzed this little puzzle to the maximum and believe you me, I have RULED OUT every other possibility. THIS DOES WORK. Do not second guess me.
THE DOUBLE JEOPARDY DOORS
You are trapped in a room with two doors. One leads to certain death and the other leads to freedom. You don't know which is which.
There are two robots guarding the doors. They will let you choose one door but upon doing so you must go through it.
You can, however, ask one robot one question. The problem is one robot always tells the truth ,the other always lies and you don't know which is which.
What is the question you ask?
There are two robots guarding the doors. They will let you choose one door but upon doing so you must go through it.
You can, however, ask one robot one question. The problem is one robot always tells the truth ,the other always lies and you don't know which is which.
What is the question you ask?
uhoh
i think someone lougied in my tim hortons coffee.....
thats basically all i have to say about that. i think ill go throw up now
thats basically all i have to say about that. i think ill go throw up now
Goodbye Andy
So I have become rather fond of this particular spot in Victoria to take pictures. It's just a regular old shabby parking lot, but with a twist. There is the most incredible graffiti and artwork on the walls on the surrounding buildings it takes my breath away.
The other day I decided to go take some more pictures in the morning as the sun would not be as sharp, and to my suprise my beloved Andy Warhol painting had been tagged over. Now I understand this doesn't break any "tagging" rules, but my heart still breaks a little. What exsists in its place is by no means subordinate, but I will miss my old friend.
So in tribute to him, and whoever his inspiring artist may be, here are my best pictures of this incredible icon.