Dear Blog,
I am deeply sorry that I COMPLETELY disregarded your 2nd birthday. Beginning of Janurary was kind of a hectic and unsettling time, so please do forgive me. Ladies and Gentlemen, Janurary 8th, 2007 marks the 2nd year in my radtastic blogs life. Way to go for those of you who have held on this long, and go me for actually keeping a "journal" for longer then 5 entries. That is the good thing about an electronic journal..Because if a year or two passes since your last post, you dont have to feel bad about all the catching up to do and try to make yourself feel better by creating some kind of fresh start by runing off to the store to buy yourself yet ANOTHER journal to jot ANOTHER 5 entries in before the cycle begins all over again. No no, those days are over. I think I have about 9 journals with only the first few pages used...Does anyone want to purchase a collection of partially used journals? Might be kind of interesting to try and carry on from where I left off. Hmm that is a good marketing scheme for sure. Forget that I even mentioned it. MY IDEA. (anyways) This way, I can just pick up from where i finished on the previous post like we never missed a beat (or not and just jump right into something completely different...oh wait, thats what i do EVERYTIME I write a post in here, better keep that pattern.) And think about it this way: I am also saving trees. 1000 points for me. *applause*. Ok really though, thanks for all your comments, they mean more to me then you will ever know. Adrienne, those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me, I will honestly carry that with me forever. Thanks for makeing me smile a million smiles :)

Yours truly,



So the other day at work, I did a crazy thing. See, I found this 20 dollar bill on the ground...and rather then stashing it in my pocket like a normal human being, i looked around in a panic to try to find the last customer who just left the area. I saw this older humble looking couple heading up the ramp towards the theatre and ran up after them. "How did you pay for that?" I ask. The man hesitated and said.."umm..cash?" answering my question with a question more then an answer. I proceeded to drill him and said "What kind of bill did you use?" ".........a fifty?" He responded. "Did you have any other bills in your wallet?" "umm...yeah." (This is when i take the idiot in me to another level.) "Oh well I just found this twenty dollar bill on the floor and i thought it might be yours." "OH YUP thats mine." The man snatches it from my hand before i have time to react without so much as a THANK YOU and continues on his way. What just happened?? Was he not greatful that I even bothered to do that? Just to reassure myself that the money made its way back to its rightful owner, I went to check the till and the last transaction that was made. Turns out, he paid with VISA and there was no 50 dollar bill in sight. What a freaking liar. Does he no realize that 20$ to me is like a mini fourtune?? I still have no idea what compelled me to do this, but it is a prime example that you cannot trust people, and that even though you are thoughtful and compassionate, it doesn't mean the rest of mankind is. Whoever you are, thank you very much for reminding me how undeserving and disrespectful people can be. I am still waiting for you to Thank me.

Britney Spears shaves her head

I know I know we don't care about the rich and famous and all the crazy shit they do with their time and money but this one cannot go unnoticed. Can you say mental breakdown? I hope she gave her hair to kids with cancer.


So we all know I am a bit notorious for procrastinating and losing things. Today, we are going to talk about procrastination. I don't do it for the sake of self sabotage, or because I don't WANT to do something, but more out of fear of the unknown. But I realized there is no more time for that. No more time to wait for the right thing to happen to me, if you want something you have to make it happen. Now don't think that I am getting soft and mushy and positive on you or anything, I'm still going to be the same sarcastic, cynical girl you know and either love to hate or hate to love, because it is easy and I am good at it, but at the same time I might try DOING something while I’m at it. And of course if I had my choice, I would put this little mission on the backburner and keep it to myself to sit and collect dust for another year, but if I figure I put it out in the open, then not only do I have to hold myself to it, but I can't let all of you down either!! I know you are probably all getting tired of the same old woe is me rant so I'm doing you all a favour. I think the first step to this is to start with a list of things I am interested in doing and accomplishing. Now at this point in time a lot of these are just mere ideas, some more far fetched then others, but you gotta start with something right? Ok HERE WE GO!!

1. Go back to school (either to be a Medical Office Assistant or a Hospital Unit Clerk) - I have chosen this particular education, because I am very interested in the Medical Field and have aspirations to one day be an addictions counsellor or hold a position that assists troubled youth. Now because I am not sure this is exactly for me, I figure if I go to school for eight months to become an MOA or HUC I can get a position within an addictions center or facility so I can be exposed to this environment while working and making money.

2. Volunteer/Internship in Ghana, Africa - Now the only reason this one is not number one on my list is because of finances. My bank account is not in the best shape right now (to say the very least) so if I go to school first, and either try to take my practicum in Ghana, or head over there before my student loan payments have to kick in then I am set. I am in love with Africa and its people’s struggles and stories, and I think the only way I can truly be satisfied is if I experience the culture and beauty of it all first hand. Now I know someone reading this (cough..mom) is FREAKING out at this idea because we all know that some parts of Africa don't have a very good.....reputation...and I don't think she is all to comfortable with my obsession with Somalia, a place with no recognized central government authority, but not to fear. I am not going there. As much as I'd love to help those in danger, I don't think I would come out alive. So this is why I have opted for Ghana. It is considered to be one the safest and most welcoming countries in Africa, and it is the country of choice for most volunteers. Another exciting part of this chapter in my life is that my good friend April wants to travel to volunteer as well so hopefully she can join me on this journey.

3. Take an art class - I miss getting my hands dirty. I want to be covered in paint. (Well...only if I am wearing scrap clothes or it washes out.) But seriously tho. I miss being creative

4. Start skipping again - I think I have made it very clear throughout the years of this blog's existence that skipping was a huge part of my life. I miss it VERY much and will do whatever it takes to get back into it. It is one way I would like to fundraise for my trip to Ghana. For a long time I have always dreamed of organizing and hosting a benefit show with a skipping performance as the main act to fundraise for a good cause, but until now I had never known what the cause was going to be. So now that I have the motivation and the purpose, I really hope this is something that can happen. I just need the bodies...any skippers out there? There are quite a few teams here in Victoria now, so I'll have to try to track them down.

5. Biking to work more - Now that I have a stronger light and the proper reflective gear I can now venture out onto the Galloping Goose in the dark. The only thing holding me back from making the very short journey of 30 minutes to work via my bicycle is that once the trail is over it shoots you into one of the busiest and most confusing intersections in downtown Victoria. And just remember, this is all takes place for me during rush hour as well. Scares me to death.

6. Be a tourist in my own hometown - I still don't understand how the tickets can be only 9 dollars, but it covers free admission to some of Victoria's best tourist attractions Feb. 28th - March 4th. I think that one explains itself, I am a sucker for cheesy learning and this town is full to the brim with it.

7. Start selling my jewellery - I have SOOOO MANY supplies and beads that it’s almost taking over my bedroom. I have no idea why I don't just do it....It sort of has to do with the fact that I am a perfectionist when it comes to anything I create and nothing ever feels good enough. But I guess what is considered imperfect to me, is a treasure to someone else. Does anyone own or work in a shop or salon that would like to take some of my creations under their wing?

8. Pay off my credit card bill - This one would be higher on the list, but with my current budget (that sends me plummeting 200 dollars under every month) and my current position it is not possible. It also relies on and ties in with other things listed previous. So unless I win the lottery or some kind rich person decides to pay it off for me, it will remain as it is.

Now I have many more ideas and aspirations but I can't imagine anyone has read into it this far anyways. So I will post it in segments, along with my progress. Hopefully this works. See you all in a decade or two.


Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, don’t go so fast
I’m missing the moments as they pass
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time
I’m down I’m down on my knees
I’m begging for all your sympathy
But you (I’m just an illusion) you don’t seem to care (I wish that I could)
You humble people everywhere (I don’t mean to hurt you)
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
So wait for me this time
I should’ve know better
I shouldn’t have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away
Now this is my time
I’m going to make this moment mine.(I shouldn’t have wasted those days)
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
I’ve looked in the mirror
My world’s getting clearer
So wait for me this time

- Chantal kreviazuk

Happy Valentines Day and cupcakes and rainbows and butterflies and shunshine and all that fluffy shit.


9. No plans – No one to make em, no one to break em. If you wanna do something, what is there to stop you? You wouldn’t stand yourself up…or would you?

8. No need to dress up - My number once choice for Valentines Day attire is sweatpants. I don’t have anyone to impress. Just like how sweatpants are my choice for everyday attire. Comon they’re so sexy right?

7. No guilt - You can eat a whole box of candy yourself without feeling bad and having to explain why all the truffles from the pot of gold are missing.

6. Hassle free dining experience - Eating out for one is a no brainer. Just think no reservations, no waiting, no having to listen to never ending list of “Dinner specials for two”, no arguing over who will pick up the bill, no fuss. And the wait staff is going to be at your beck and call because for some reason they feel sorry that you are dining alone on valentines. They will never know you did so by choice.

5. No excuses - you get to stay home and watch chick flicks in your sweats eating chocolate and being lazy without having to come up with a reason for your actions because all your other friends are out with their significant others.

4. Can watch the movies YOU want to see - Without having to worry about your partner whining about it was your choice LAST TIME as they continue to support their argument of why Terminator/Love Actually is the most appropriate choice for the evening. Did I mention that you get to wear sweatpants and pig out on your own chocolate while you watch in the comfort of your own home?

3. No fake reactions – You Don’t have to spend hours practicing the “aww honey I love it…you shouldn’t have” reaction when your significant other shows up with a box of turtle chocolates (did I mention you were allergic to nuts?) and the last remaining bouquet of overpriced, wilted and demolished supermarket roses. Singles like myself do not need to worry. I can go out and buy myself whatever I want and I know I will love it!

2. No disappointment - With Valentine’s day comes a plethora of presents that are insincere and artificial. People feel forced to get something for their significant others because it is considered social tradition to do so instead of from the heart. People get disappointed on valentines because for most it is NOT just the thought that counts. (Especially women, cuz really they are the only ones that care this holiday even existed…if it was up to the guys feb.14th would be national sit on the couch and watch sports day)


1. You're not about to get dumped. Think about it.

At this point if you managed to make it through you may be wondering…well where is reason number 10? Why on earth would you start at top ten list with the number nine. Are you a complete idiot? Do you know how to count? Do you have any sense at all? And the answers to those common questions are as follows. It has yet to be created. Because I can. No. Yes. And, Sometimes. You see, I am leaving reason number ten up to you. All those single people up there who wish to contribute to my list, this is your opportunity. Leave me a comment, I’ll pick the one I like most and repost it with the complete list as soon as I see fit. So common, contribute already. Coupled folk need not apply. Your suggestions would probably be crappy. Unless you are Minn, your suggestions are always welcome here.

Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more.

Brought to you by the clever folks at meish.org





What an amazing concert that was. Raine Maida, you are an absolute genious. Has anyone heard his "yellow brick road"? I'ts not on his EP and it is imperative to my well being that I track this song down. It is fantastic.

Hiding in the shadows under the hood of her sweater, Chantal backed up Raine during his opening acts on her piano. Although her prescence on stage was unknown to others, I could tell the moment she touched those keys that it was the one and only Chantal Kreviazuk. They were both amazing. I must say that Chantal and Raine both are a thousand times better live then they are recorded. Which is a HUGE deal (because I love them both recorded as well.) Chantals voice just radiated throughout the entire 900 seat theatre. Although we were seated in what some refer to as the "nose bleed" section accidentally, it didn't even matter. Her music and voice would reach all the way to the ends of the earth if there was no sound barrier above us (aka..the roof.) Anyways to sum it up, it was a fantastic evening with top notch company (being my mommy, chantal and raine) and will be embedded in my memory forever.

Peace and Love,


I'm alone is this life, and these old jeans are too tight
and now I can't pick my feet off the floor
I try to laugh but i cry
my dignity is undignifided, guess I'm really on my own
love is like a little boy, no I'm not paranoid
but I'm on to you, yeah yeah
well I'm not seventeen and I don't want to be
so why am I hiding

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm a very simple girl
and I don't fit into this world, the city lights leave me in a daze
and even though we've never met, you know what I'm trying to forget
somethings you can't change

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm underneath

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful

I'm wonderful

- chantal kreviazuk




So if any of you can tell me who this lovely lady is and what character she is so brilliantly immitating you win a prize.

*disclaimer, contest only open to non family member residents. Minn you are family, sorry.

me on valentines day

for the people

Dear mean people of the planet,
I am so sorry you waste so much time and energy to be rude. It is with my DEEPEST sympathy that I write this letter. Unfortunately as you may or may not already know, you actually happen to be the brunt of every joke. So I guess this is a letter of thanks and praise just as much as it is a letter of sympathy. My heart goes out to you though. It must be terribly strenuous to be so utterly pessimistic and unruly all of the time. How on earth do you ever come up with so much pathetic material? Do you find that you often have to re-use some of your best, or is it all totally original? The dedication and persistence it takes to be you is truly mind boggling. Keep up the good work.

Yours truley,
the nicest person on the planet

Welcome to exsistance

When did life become so complex and so simple all at once? Am I really here? Is this really happening? Am I really sitting at my computer struggling to find the words to even write something so meaningless, so pointless? Am I even awake? Why is it when I hear about people that I knew growing up I feel like we are from different worlds? WHO ARE YOU? Are you the same person? When did you all become so famous? Am I the same person? When did you start writing music? When did I stop? Is this really the planet I started out on with such hope and promise? When did it all fade away? Where is my ambition my creativity my inspriation my drive my passions my interests my talents?MY CONFIDENCE??? Why can't I finish anything I have started? Why can't I start anything? Where are my friends?