Happy Valentines Day and cupcakes and rainbows and butterflies and shunshine and all that fluffy shit.

TOP TEN REASONS BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINES DAY IS THE BEST THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO YOU……ALMOST

9. No plans – No one to make em, no one to break em. If you wanna do something, what is there to stop you? You wouldn’t stand yourself up…or would you?

8. No need to dress up - My number once choice for Valentines Day attire is sweatpants. I don’t have anyone to impress. Just like how sweatpants are my choice for everyday attire. Comon they’re so sexy right?

7. No guilt - You can eat a whole box of candy yourself without feeling bad and having to explain why all the truffles from the pot of gold are missing.

6. Hassle free dining experience - Eating out for one is a no brainer. Just think no reservations, no waiting, no having to listen to never ending list of “Dinner specials for two”, no arguing over who will pick up the bill, no fuss. And the wait staff is going to be at your beck and call because for some reason they feel sorry that you are dining alone on valentines. They will never know you did so by choice.

5. No excuses - you get to stay home and watch chick flicks in your sweats eating chocolate and being lazy without having to come up with a reason for your actions because all your other friends are out with their significant others.

4. Can watch the movies YOU want to see - Without having to worry about your partner whining about it was your choice LAST TIME as they continue to support their argument of why Terminator/Love Actually is the most appropriate choice for the evening. Did I mention that you get to wear sweatpants and pig out on your own chocolate while you watch in the comfort of your own home?

3. No fake reactions – You Don’t have to spend hours practicing the “aww honey I love it…you shouldn’t have” reaction when your significant other shows up with a box of turtle chocolates (did I mention you were allergic to nuts?) and the last remaining bouquet of overpriced, wilted and demolished supermarket roses. Singles like myself do not need to worry. I can go out and buy myself whatever I want and I know I will love it!

2. No disappointment - With Valentine’s day comes a plethora of presents that are insincere and artificial. People feel forced to get something for their significant others because it is considered social tradition to do so instead of from the heart. People get disappointed on valentines because for most it is NOT just the thought that counts. (Especially women, cuz really they are the only ones that care this holiday even existed…if it was up to the guys feb.14th would be national sit on the couch and watch sports day)

AND THE #1 REASON BEING SINGLE ON V-DAY IS AWESOME:

1. You're not about to get dumped. Think about it.

At this point if you managed to make it through you may be wondering…well where is reason number 10? Why on earth would you start at top ten list with the number nine. Are you a complete idiot? Do you know how to count? Do you have any sense at all? And the answers to those common questions are as follows. It has yet to be created. Because I can. No. Yes. And, Sometimes. You see, I am leaving reason number ten up to you. All those single people up there who wish to contribute to my list, this is your opportunity. Leave me a comment, I’ll pick the one I like most and repost it with the complete list as soon as I see fit. So common, contribute already. Coupled folk need not apply. Your suggestions would probably be crappy. Unless you are Minn, your suggestions are always welcome here.

3 comments:

bean said...

well, # 10 for me would have been "you get to sleep in the middlebr/>
Jeez, it only took me like a year to remember that...

Conor said...

This is like the coolest thing I've ever read. Being single is pretty awesome, but if you can find a person who doesn't care about the "cuteness" of Valentines day or needing everything to be "perfect", I think that in itself is worth celebrating lol Being in a relationship with a person like that, yep I could do that.

Anonymous said...

ugh, you get to drink the entire bottle of wine... or hard stuff, depending on what mood should strike.



love, Emily